Jason Lauritsen

Opinions Expressed Here are My Own (An Open Letter to Everyone)

2012-02-16T04:10:00.000-08:00

Dear Everyone,

This letter is to anyone who uses or reads blogs and social media sites and the companies for whom you work. Sadly, it seems that we've all taken leave of our common sense and it's causing some ridiculousness in the interweb. Over the past several years, it's become common practice for people to place a disclaimer in their twitter provide or blog bio that reads "The opinions expressed here are my own and not that of my employer."

This is stupid. There, I said. Stupid. Not on the part of the person who put it on their bio because I understand why they do it (I've been one of them in the past), but stupid because we've come to believe that the rest of the world requires a disclaimer to realize that a twitter account or any other social media account is going to be a place where individuals express their own opinions.

For one, we all know that no one person's comments expresses the opinions of an employer or organziation unless you are a paid spokesperson or a CEO (and even that doesn't mean you are totally aligned). We, the consumers of the said opinions, are pretty good at knowing what represents an organization and what doesn't. If a professional football player on the 49ers tweets something out that is inflammatory, silly or just a plain old dumb thing to say, we know that he's not speaking on behalf of the 49ers. We don't need someone to break it down for us.

But, I didn't write this email to whine. I come bearing solutions. To eliminate the need for this disclaimer today and forever more simply requires us to make a few agreements up front to ensure we are all on the same page.

To Everyone:
Always assume that any opinion expressed anywhere online is the opinion of the person that wrote it. Period. When someone says something stupid, it's because they are stupid, not their employer or organization.

To Individuals (Users of the Web):

If you identify yourself as working for someone in your bio or username, you had better be aware that any thing you say can be interpreted as a reflection of your employer. And, if you say something dumb or inappropriate enough, they should fire you for it. So, think before you type. And don't be pissed when you get fired if you are in the habit of saying stupid things.

To Companies:

First off, loosen up. Refer to the my earlier comments and recognize that we know when someone has gone off the grid. We know that stupid people work for good companies. We can sort this out for ourselves. Quit freaking out all the time about social media. We are way smarter than you give us credit for. Second, if you are going to be so sensitive about what people say about you, do some homework before you hire someone to see if they are in the habit of being stupid online. If they are, don't hire them. Only hire people who you are comfortable with having their opinions associated with your brand. Then, leave them alone to live the online social lives.

There it is. Simple. If we all can just get a hold of ourselves and return to a little common sense, we can send these silly disclaimers the way of the dinosaur. Let's get it together, folks. We are better than this.

Sincerely,

Jason Lauritsen

Let's Manufacture some Workplace Holidays

2012-02-14T04:37:00.000-08:00

It's Valentine's Day. Such an interesting tradition that we subject ourselves to every year. It is the one day of the year that probably produces more angst than any other despite the seemingly noble intention of the day.

I've heard Valentine's Day often referred to as a "Hallmark Holiday" implying that it was created solely so that greeting card producers, jewelry stores and chocolate makers could boost their sales. I'm not going to debate the value of Valentine's Day here or go through it's history. I've never personally found it to be so offensive. It was a time of creativity when I was a kid (I designed some really amazing valentine's boxes back in the day) and now it's a time to pause and remind those closest to you that you love them.

Any rate, what I found myself wondering about this morning is the possibilities of creating a "Hallmark Holiday" within our workplaces that was all about appreciating the people we work with. What if, once a year, each manager took the time to find a card and write a little note to each one of his or her employees that simply reminded the employees that they were cared for?

Now, I realize that on the surface, some of you might say "it's pathetic if a manager is only telling their employees once a year that they care." And, I agree with that. But, Valentine's Day isn't the only time of year that I tell or show my wife that I love her. It's just a formal day when I spend a little extra time making sure the message is loud and clear. I would hope that this holiday would be the same.

So, what would it hurt to create a holiday where we recognize each other (show our love) in the workplace. Maybe we could have a series of these holidays.

Teammate Day - We recognize our peers who make the most meaningful impact on our work experience.
Validation Day - This is what I outlined above, where supervisors take the time to show each employee that they care.
Leader Day - Sadly, the one day that does exist is "Boss' Day" which often turns into a "suck up" fest. This would be much more effective if individuals were encouraged to acknowledge those who inspire them to do more and be more.

There's probably a list of other "holidays" we could create. I think anything we can do to bring more love and caring back into the workplace is a good thing. Imagine the possibilities.

Riding the Corporate Rocking Horse

2012-02-10T05:28:00.000-08:00

Do not confuse motion and progress. A rocking horse keeps moving but does not make any progress.

– Alfred A. Montapert, American Author

Over the past eight months, I've been working through the transformation from corporate executive to bootstrapping entrepreneur. Thankfully, I'd had at least some short experience earlier in my career in owning my own business, so I knew a little about what to expect. Regardless of that, it's been a major transition.

As I've been asked to describe this experience to people, the one comment that I find myself making a lot is this:

"Every action I take and every moment of time I spend has a specific purpose, and it feels really good."

The thing about this comment as I've thought about it more is that I'm speaking about my current experience in context of my corporate experience over the previous nine years. And, when you read between the lines, what I am saying, at least indirectly, is that within the confines of a corporate job, there's a lot of "work" done that feels like it's without purpose.

In the past 8 months, I haven't:

Gone to meeting with no apparent agenda with people who don't want to be there
Shot off a series of emails or made any phone calls to cover my ass
Spend hours creating reports that no one looks at or uses in any way
Created a presentation to justify an obviously needed expense because it doesn't fit in an outdated budget framework created months ago when circumstances where different
Looked at a policy (or thought about if I'm allowed to do anything in particular)

This list is just a spattering of what we could call "riding the corporate rocking horse." It's all about motion-- feeling busy, playing at doing business. Nothing on that list creates any value or drives any progress. I knew that this stuff was part of corporate life, but I didn't realize how much until I had to deprogram my day to day life through my transition to entrepreneur.

When I wake up in the morning now, I ask the question, "what's the most important thing I can do today to move the business forward?" and then I put energy towards making that happen. The reason this works for me is that I am very clear on what my purpose is. I have a plan. I know the plan.

Having the perspective of my recent experience, I don't think there has to be so much riding of the rocking horse in corporate. Engagement surveys and management gurus have long told us that one of the most important things we can do is help employees understand how their job contributes to the organization's success. It's become more apparent to me than ever before why this is so important. But, I don't think it's enough to just know how your work contributes.

In order to get employees off the corporate rocking horse, they need to know the plan (vision and strategy), understand the plan (why does this vision and strategy make sense), and have the ability to make decisions about their work towards making progress towards that plan. They need to be able to say no to attending a meeting if it's not clear how that meeting will promote progress. They should be allowed to ask the question, "what's the most important thing I can do today to help the business?" and then act on it.

This would require leaders who can teach and coach and provide real feedback. I think that if we all got off the corporate rocking horse and removed all of the "motion" from our organizations, the productivity and engagement we'd experience would be staggering. Working with purpose feels good and it's great for business.

Make an Impact: Support the Change Agent

2012-02-07T04:13:00.000-08:00

One powerful way that we can be catalysts for change in the world is to look for and support those around us who are taking risks and making bold moves in their own quest for change. When you are a change agent, it's easy to get tunnel vision and focus only on your efforts to move the needle. But, it's just as important to recognize those around you and provide your support to their change efforts. A voice of encouragement or show of support can provide the spark of inspiration for another change agent to keep going, to keep fighting, to keep believing.

As most of you know, I spent the better part of a decade as an HR executive striving to help my organizations do great work when it came to unleashing the talent of our people. The work of human resources is increasingly critical to the success of our organizations. At the same time, the quality of our systems, approaches and thinking just isn't getting it done in our current environment and is no where in the neighborhood of being ready to meet the challenges of the future.

Change is needed--and fast.

It is in this spirit that I encourage you to consider attendance at TLNT's Transform conference in Austin, Texas on Feb 27-28. For those of you who might be unfamiliar with TLNT.com, please give it a look. The tag line for the site is "The Business of HR" and they walk that talk. TLNT came onto the scene in the past two years to provide thought provoking content daily that nudges the HR industry forward.

But they decided that they wanted to do more than nudge. They wanted to create an event where those who are really serious about the work of HR and talent can come together in some meaty discussion about the future of this work. There are a lot of HR type conferences out there, but this is the first that I've seen on a large scale that is so fiercely dedicated to keeping the dialogue focused on the future. We need as much of this as we can get, so I applaud TLNT's efforts on all fronts.

I hope that you will consider attending the Transform conference. As you will notice, part of the way I came to be aware of this event was that I was asked to be a part of it at Talent Anarchy with my colleague Joe Gerstandt. We will be talking how the future of talent has shifted from individual skills and abilities to the collective and collaborative power that exists between people. I am thrilled to be a part of this event.

Look over the rest of the agenda. This is going to be a powerful two days of great content, great discussion, and great networking. And we need to support this important change effort with our attendance so TLNT will make the decision to come back and do it again in the future for many years to come.

If you decide to attend and haven't registered yet, you can use the discount code TF12JL when you register to save a little money. I hope to see you there.

The Greatest and the Worst Halftime Show Ever

2012-02-06T03:50:00.000-08:00

Last night, as we watched Madonna's halftime show conclude at our super bowl gathering with friends, we had the discussion that was happening everywhere around America: was it a good or bad halftime show?

My friend Joe, who had pulled out his phone, was checking the pulse of the masses by way of Twitter and Facebook chatter. His conclusion, "Well, it's either the greatest or the worst halftime show in history." It seems that the opinion on the performance was completely split.

While there's nothing terribly shocking about the split decision regarding a superbowl halftime show, I think it reveals the power of expectations in how we judge the quality or value of something. For example, I saw several Facebook posts that took issue with the fact that Madonna appeared to be lip synching during her performance. This fact, for those people, was a violation of what they expected. I, on the other hand, have come to expect for a performance like this at halftime of the superbowl that there will probably be some lip synching going on. If she hadn't been lip synching, I would have been super impressed. So, the fact that Madonna was lip synching didn't impact my experience of her performance. Different expectations, very different judgments.

For the record, I liked the halftime show. I was particularly amazed by the use of technology and the overall showmanship of the performance. But, that's not the point.

I think the strong reactions to this event is a quick reminder to pay close attention to our expectations about situations and people. Both opinions about the halftime show are correct. Depending on your expectations of a halftime show and your musical preferences, that could have been the best or the worst halftime show ever. Our expectations define how we experience the world around us. Choose them wisely.

Thank you, Technology Gods

2012-02-03T05:37:00.000-08:00

For some reason, today I'm feeling a little reflective and thankful. So, I'm going to take a break for one post form my usual rantings to spend a moment appreciating the awesome power of technology.

My compulsion is to live my life like it's the amazing race. One obstacle to the next, trying to be as quickly successful as I can in each endeavor. As a result, I don't spend time very often just appreciating some of the amazing things taking place around me.

So, today I want to pause for at least a moment to reflect on how technology has done so many wonderful things in my life.

Facebook has provided me a gateway to reconnect with and stay in touch with people who had drifted out of my life over the years. Old high school friends, college buddies, former co-workers, and even some distant family members. I may still not "see" them often, but I feel so much more connected to these people than could have been possible a few years ago.
Twitter is such a gift. It has opened up an entire world of new connections and colleagues, content and insights that weren't so readily available to me with it. It has also created a community of open support and collaboration that I've found to be incredibly generous and supportive.
Skype is like magic. It means that my children and their grandparents can have face time with one another even when they are 200 miles apart. It also means that I can "see" my family and talk to them, even when I'm halfway around the world. That's invaluable and, ironically, skype is free. I can't even really comprehend how that works, but I'm thankful it does.
I don't think a day goes by that I'm not a little bit amazed by my Smartphone. The fact that an entire computer's worth of technology fits in my pocket is astonishing. And, then you throw in things like free navigation and maps courtesy of Google (which has bailed me out many times), grocery lists in the cloud, email that follows me everywhere (a good and bad thing), and the list goes one forever. Not to mention that they can stream children's programs on the screen which can diffuse an angry toddler in sticky situations.
My colleague, Joe Gerstandt, and I just published our first book. Through this process we learned about companies like CreateSpace.com that have used the power of digital printing to make publishing accessible to the everyone. Technology has completely turned the book publishing world on it's head. A top quality paperback book can be printed on-demand and shipped in a matter of a few hours. It's astonishing.
High Definition Television has changed how we experience sports at our house. We have always been a sports loving household so we love our HDTV. It wasn't until a few weeks ago when I was stuck in a hotel room to watch a basketball game on an "old school" 19" television that wasn't either a flat screen or high def, did I realize how much I've already started to take for granted the awesomeness of HD.

I suppose my point in writing this today is just to remind myself (and perhaps you too) to take the time to recognize, notice and appreciate the awesomeness that happens around us. I have these same moments about my family, my relationship with my wife, my work, my network, and many other things on occasion. Generally, it strikes me like a lightning bolt. My goal is to make this practice of recognition and appreciation more frequent and consistent.

So, for today, I give thanks to the technology gods (and everyone else who has a role in making all of this technological magic possible). I don't know what I'd do without it.

Have a great weekend!

Semantics Matter (Reclaiming the Meaning of our Words)

2012-02-01T05:04:00.000-08:00

Words are important. And as we become increasing submerged in social media, instant messaging blogging, and email as primary forms of communication, the importance of words is becoming amplified. The less we communicate face to face, or even voice to voice, the more critical it becomes to use the right words because the impact of inflection and body language are lost.

But, I feel like we are getting more careless by the day in how we use our words. We have taken words that once had a specific and powerful meaning, and stripped them of their dignity. I'm not suggesting heading down a path of recommending the creation of a "word police" or some revision of our free speech rights. People should be entitled to use whatever words they want, I just think we all need to be more intentional and thoughtful in the words we choose to use.

For example, take the word "hate." When you really dig into the depth of what this word means, it represents a powerful and dangerous emotion. Hatred is heavy and it has caused some otherwise decent people to do some pretty horrific things to other people throughout history. It's a word that packs a lot of punch. And yet, we say things like "I hate it when my spell checker misses a word" or "I hate it when people forget to turn in their TPS report." That's not hate. My wife and I have forbidden the use of this word in our house, not because of limiting speech, but rather because we don't believe in giving voice to this destructive emotion. "Hate" is not a word to be tossed around. When you use it, it should be with intention.

In the business world, we are expert at taking meaningful words and stripping them of their dignity. Take one of my favorite phrases, "performance management," as an example. When you just consider the two words and what that phrase means, it's important stuff. It's by pairing this powerful phrase with efforts and processes that are often poorly designed or worse, pointless and harmful, that these words have lost their power. And too often we've just stood by and watched as this injustice has taken place.

So, here's a list of some of the words that I'd like to put on your radar with the hope that we can begin a movement to reclaim them. They are too important and hold too much promise to not fight for them.

Leader
Love
Passion
Hate
Friend
Authentic
Accountable
Best
Team
Talent
Diversity
Perform
Communication
Leadership

The list could probably go on for days. What words do you want to add to the list and why? And how shall we reclaim them?

What would you wish for?

2012-01-30T03:50:00.000-08:00

Last night, my son was watching a TV show where the story line apparently included a genie being released from a lamp to grant 3 wishes. After a few minutes, he asked me, "What would you do if you were were granted 3 wishes? What would you wish for?"

It's one of those questions that I haven't really contemplated since I was a kid. My wife was with me in the kitchen when the question was posed, so what followed was a really interesting conversation about what our 3 wishes would be. I won't bore you with our responses, but I will say that the I found the answers to this question to be insightful.

And I love a great question. After noodling about it, I think this could be a great interview question that could get a person to reveal themselves in ways that are usually difficult to achieve in an interview. Test yourself:

What would you wish for if you were granted 3 wishes?

The answer to this question reveals where your values lie. Do you think of others or do you focus on yourself? What kinds of things do you wish for yourself or others?

The answer also reveals if you are short or long-term focused and the degree to which you are strategic. Do you wish for specific things with short term utility or do you wish for resources that would help get many things with short and long term utility?

This question also tests your creative and flexibility. Do you accept the question and try to make the answers meaningful, despite it being a whimsical exercises? Or did you reject the question as silly and only answer half-heartedly?

Whether you use the question for interviewing or just for fun, it's a fun one to think about.

Authenticity Shouldn't be a Competitive Advantage

2012-01-26T04:13:00.000-08:00

I wrote last week about some brand development work I've been doing. Part of that process involved asking people who have experienced me and my work to provide me some feedback on what makes me unique, what they appreciate about my work.

One of the things that emerged as a theme in the feedback I received was that people described both my writing and speaking as very authentic. This was music to my ears personally, because I try to live my life in a "what you see is what you get" kind of way. I'm not sure it makes any sense to me to strive to live in any other way than authentically to who you are.

But, then I started reflecting a little further on this feedback and I became a little unsettled, and maybe even a little disheartened. I was bothered not by the fact that my network and customers described me as authentic, but that we live in a world where authenticity has become a competitive advantage.

When I really sat and considered this insight, it hit me pretty hard. This wasn't new information. For nearly a decade, I struggled to fit in within corporate America because the forces of conformity are almost overpowering there. I know that authenticity has become increasing difficult in a world that seems to be designed to help us "fit in." I just didn't realize (or had been trying to ignore) how significant this issue has become. I see it more clearly now than ever.

And we need to make some progress.

This process has emboldened me with the awareness that I need to protect my own authenticity even more fiercely than I have in the past. Partly because it's healthy. And partly because I want to be an example for others.

There is no greater reward in life than being able to live life on your own terms and being accepted for it. Authenticity shouldn't be a competitive differentiator, it should be the norm. What should differentiate us is our actual difference, not the degree to which we truly reveal that difference to the world.

Work Doesn't have to Suck

2012-01-24T03:45:00.000-08:00

If you follow my blog regularly, you probably know that I also blog with my colleague, Joe Gerstandt, over at the Talent Anarchy blog. Lately, we've been discussing work and why, in our opinions, it doesn't seem to be working.

A few weeks ago, Joe asked the question "Do we need a new eithic of work?" This was a great question that got me to thinking, how do we make work better? For me, the heavy burden at the moment lies with the individual employee. The reason work sucks for so many people today is because we've allowed it to happen. The reality of the marketplace is that talent is still king and great talent is in high demand, but we've been content to accept whatever conditions our employers dish out to us. To take back control of this relationship requires some different action.

So, my response to Joe was that we, as the 'workers' need to take it upon ourselves to seize control of our work experience and to create the leverage we need to drive change, not just for ourselves, but in the system. Business is adaptive and it will change to meet our needs only once we draw a line in the sand and declare that we've had enough.

To accomplish this, I wrote a series of posts that lay out how I believe that we can take back control of our work experience. Here are the links to those posts if you are interested.

If you take the time to review these posts, I'd love your thoughts and feedback. Do you agree with this list? What did I miss? Do you have examples to share of how this approach has worked for you or someone you know?

Work can make work better. I'm certain of it. But, it's not going to happen until we decide to make it so.

What makes you different?

2012-01-20T04:10:00.000-08:00

I've been doing a lot of introspection over the past several months. Making the transition from a corporate HR executive to HR Consultant and speaker requires some pretty serious mindset shifts. Through this process, one question keeps coming up for me to focus on and wrestle with.

"What makes you different from everyone else?"

This is a really important question when you are trying to sell your services to others. But, it's also a critical question to consider as a professional in any field (we are all selling our services whether we recognize it or not). It is the answer to this question to makes us stand out, that differentiates us from the person in the office or cubicle next to us.

Where this question gets really important is when you consider the gap between how others would answer this question about your (their perception of your uniqueness) and how you actually intend to stand out (your aspirations and intentions). Bringing these two things into alignment goes a long way towards helping you find your way to the job of your dreams.

To really excel within any career, it's important to wrestle with this question. Not once, but with regularity over the years. Standing out is what makes you memorable.

Be memorable.

The Paralysis of "Anticipated Regret"

2012-01-18T04:39:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite blogs is PsyBlog: Understand your Mind. Since I believe that one of the best practices of a leader or human resources pro is to study people and why we do what we do, a blog that regularly presents interesting research into how our mind works is a great resource.

One recent post at this blog titled "The Amazing Power of Regret to Shape our Future" really stuck with me and got me thinking about why we tend to stick with jobs or situations that aren't fulfilling or helping us grow as individuals. The focus of this post was to share some research into how regret affects our decision making.

In this study participants were given lottery tickets—not real ones, but organised by the researchers so that one person could win. Then they were asked if they would be willing to exchange them for another one which had an identical chance of winning (Bar-Hillel & Neter, 1996). To encourage them to switch tickets, they were offered a tasty truffle. Even though there was no difference between the tickets and there was a treat as an incentive, less than 50% of participants agreed.
Then the experiment was repeated with different participants, except this time, instead of lottery tickets, participants were given pens. As before they were offered a small incentive to make the switch. In this condition 90% of participants agreed to the swap.
Why the huge difference?
What is going on is that a pen is just a pen, but a lottery ticket is not just a lottery ticket. No matter what, all the pens are identical, but only one lottery ticket will actually win, although before the draw they all have the same chance of winning. What this means is that we can start using our imaginations, projecting ourselves forward into the future and thinking about possible consequences.
What if we decide to swap our lottery ticket and then it turns out to be the winning one? How will we feel then? It's this anticipation of regret that stops people swapping their tickets.

What struck me about this experiment is how rarely the "pen" situation exists in our lives. It's hardly ever the case that we chose between two choices that are exactly equal. Our choices about the things that matter always have huge potential for difference in future outcomes. When we change jobs, the next job could be awesome, but it could also be much worse than our current one.

As I thought more about this, it really seemed to settle with me why people stay in jobs or situations that aren't favorable for them. I've always understood (although I don't get it) that people will choose the "crappy known" situation over the unknown situation 9 out of 10 times. We fear the unknown. But, what I didn't ever consider was that one of the possible drivers behind this was "anticipated regret." Basically, we write up mental stories about what might happen in the future and we ultimately get to the question: "What if it ends up being a mistake?" This question paralyzes many people.

Some people, though, don't seem to suffer from this paralysis. So, clearly, there is an antidote for this problem and it appears to be somehow rooted in personal accountability. If your mindset is that you create your own destiny, that you happen to the world rather than the world happening to you, then you don't worry about what might happen after you make a decision. You know that what happens will largely be due to the choices and actions you take.

So, this leads me to believe that the reason we have so much resistance to change within our organizations and our lives is a lack of a personal accountability mindset. If more people understood that their results were their own doing and that they can't control the circumstances around them, change would cease to be an issue (or at least become a much smaller one).

Calm: Slowing Down the Game

2012-01-16T05:26:00.000-08:00

It's the time of year where I watch an awful lot of sports (at least as much as my schedule and my family will allow). While watching a basketball game this weekend and thinking about the experiences my high school freshmen son is having with basketball this year, I was reminded of my own journey as a basketball player.

Growing up, I loved basketball. I'm not sure if it was because of love of the game or because I was always tall and thus expected to play basketball, but I played a lot growing up. I practiced often. I went to basketball camps. I listened to my coaches. I worked to out hustle everyone else on the floor. And, by the time I was in high school, I spent most of my time on the bench during games. For whatever reason, I never got over the top as a high school basketball player.

I've heard interviews with many gifted athletes who describe how the game "slows down" for them. When they are on the floor, it feels to them as if everyone else is playing in slow motion. The great players can anticipate what's going to happen and react before it happens. It's a thing of beauty.

Basketball never slowed down for me. When I went into a game, my heart sped up. I was constantly in reactive mode and I don't think I ever really felt comfortable. Ironically, years after graduating from college, I played some pick up basketball with a group of college age kids, and I remember feeling far more confident as a basketball player on the floor even though my core skills had diminished. The stakes were very low, but I finally felt as though the game had slowed down (or maybe it was just me). And I actually had better results.

I think when athletes describe the game "slowing down," what they are really describing is their experience of being calm when the storm rages around them. Calm is an often overlooked but very powerful component to peak performance. From my own experiences with great leaders and coaches, calm is a common characteristic. When things are really going haywire and people around them are emotional or irrational, they remain calm and focused.

Where does this calm come from?

I don't have definitive answers, but instead some speculation as to why some people have greater calm in pressurized performance situations than others.

Natural talent - First, I think some people have natural wiring that helps them perform better in these situations, particularly when their talents are matched to their role.
Confidence - Having confidence in your own ability (even sometimes blind confidence) goes a long way towards feeling settled and calm in a chaotic situation
Competence - Feeling prepared and, specifically, more prepared than your adversary provides a good foundation for successfully navigating through pressurized situations.
Focus - I know from my experience as a young basketball player, I completely lost my focus when I went into the game. I quickly became overwhelmed by everything except what my individual role was--and it hurt my performance. Those who can maintain a sharp focus on the task at hand gain a huge advantage.

What do you think? Where does calm come from? Why does the game of sports or the game of business "slow down" for some people and not others?

Are you taking enough risks?

2012-01-13T03:38:00.000-08:00

One of the things I've always said is one of my skills is the ability to make big, messy mistakes. I participated in a starter marriage that lasted 18 months. I wrote a business plan about a decade ago that I spent near 2 years pitching to angel investors with no success before I ultimately abandoned it to join the corporate ranks. The list is long.

The beauty in making big mistakes is that you get big learning through them if you are paying attention. I call this "scar tissue." Scar tissue is not only the lesson learned from failure, but it's also the memory of the pain that accompanied the acquisition of that lesson. Scar tissue is what prevents us from making the same mistakes over and over. Scar tissue is what wisdom is made of.

If you wish to become wise, you need scar tissue. To build scar tissue, you need failure. To find failure, you have to take risks. So, risk leads to wisdom. Wisdom leads to greatness.

Are you taking enough risks?

Stop Bubble Wrapping Employees

2012-01-12T04:09:00.000-08:00

Wow have we screwed up the practice of management within our organizations. I'm not sure when it happened or how it happened, but along the way we decided that our job as managers was to increase the comfort of our employees and to take away any discomfort they may feel in their jobs.

On the surface, you think it sounds like a good idea or even that employees want us to do this, but neither is correct. What we've effectively done in many of our organizations by following this path is the equivalent to wrapping our employees in bubble wrap. Sure, bubble wrap prevents the employee from getting hurt, but it also prevents them from growing, achieving, and (dare I say) truly engaging with you and their work.

Employees, despite what you think or what they say, don't want to be coddled. They want to be successful, proud, to feel accomplishment and growth. All of the same things you want. They want to be mentored and coached. They want to be rewarded when they do great things. And, they even want feedback so they can get better.

The problem in this equation isn't the employee. The employee never demanded being wrapped in bubble wrap. Management and HR decided this path because it's easier than delivering on what employees really want. True development, coaching, and feedback requires conflict and it makes people uncomfortable in the moment. There might even be some pain involved from time to time. We will do almost anything to avoid conflict and we are really squeamish about making other people uncomfortable. Here's the thing, discomfort and pain are powerful motivators for growth. As humans, our survival instincts drive us to move out of situations of discomfort and pain--we take action. Without that trigger, we often won't take the first step towards growth.

Being a great manager, coach, or HR pro requires that you understand how important it is to walk into the conflict with people and then to let them be uncomfortable. Stop trying to fix everything and take away the discomfort. If you just stay out of their way, they will make it happen on their own. Your job is to provide the right questions for them to ponder and the resources they need once they decide to take action.

Go now. Burn the bubble wrap.

I love Tim Tebow

2012-01-09T05:40:00.000-08:00

You don't even have to be a football fan to be aware of the Tim Tebow phenomenon happening in the NFL this year. I love the story and I love what his success represents. But, probably not for the same reason a lot of other people do.

While I think it's great that Tebow seems to be an upstanding citizen and good guy, that's not why I love the story. My love for Tebow is because of what his story represents.

Tebow shows the power of leadership. Tebow's teammates have consistently said throughout the season that the way he approaches the game makes them believe they can win every game. Insiders frequently talk about his intangibles as a leader and apparently, there must be something to it.
Experts hate that Tebow is winning. Tim Tebow defies the laws of quarterbacking. He's not a great pocket passer. The balls he throws wobble and aren't the usual tight spiral you'd expect from an NFL quaterback. But, he wins--despite what all the experts report should happen. He's an exception to the rule and he's revealing that there might be more than one way to play quarterback in the NFL. I love a non-conformist.
Pressure reveals excellence. Tebow was awful in his last three games of the regular season, but they backed into the playoff thanks to other teams losses. Between last week's losses and this week's game, the Bronco's Executive Vice President of Football Operations and NFL quarterback legend, John Elway, gave Tebow the invitation to trust his talent and to step up to greatness, saying:

"That's human nature, especially when you're young, to become more cautious," Elway said. "He had a tough week before (the Chiefs game) against Buffalo. The key thing for (Tebow) is to go out, put everything behind him, go through his progressions and pull the trigger."

So, I will continue to cheer for Tebow and the Broncos to keep defying conventional wisdom about who "should" win football games.

Excuses Suck

2012-01-04T04:30:00.000-08:00

One of the TV shows that has become a staple in our home is The Biggest Loser (I'm assuming that unless you've been in a cave for the past decade and just come out today, you at least have an awareness of this show). It's a terrific show on so many levels. It's drama filled (I usually end up in tears about a half dozen times each season). It shows you both ends of the human condition--when we are at our worst and when we are at our best. It demonstrates the power of coaching. And, it's family friendly. It's uplifting and inspiring. All good stuff.

Last night marked the start of a new season of the show. This season, the theme focuses on excuses. Apparently, all of this season's contestants were chosen because they have pretty big excuses they are making for how they ended up so dramatically overweight and unhealthy. Personally, I think that probably every season of this show could probably have had the same theme, but I'm glad they are highlighting it this time around.

What has happened to these contestants is that they have given up. It started with an excuse, but now it's become a way of thinking and behaving. They have become victims of own life. And they feel helpless to do anything about it.

What is powerful about The Biggest Loser is that as you watch it, you realize that the process of successful weight loss (transformation) for these people is as much about changing their mindsets and beliefs about themselves as it is about exercise and diet. The trainers immediately go to work on the contestants trying to figure out where their victim mindsets reside so they can call them out and start to reprogram that thinking. Once they crack the code on the mindset, the rest of the puzzle generally falls into place.

The Biggest Loser is a great example for how coaching and development works. At the foundation is this truth: if you get the mindset right, great results will follow. Faulty mindsets can undermine the best training efforts in the world. If you have an employee with great talent who's under-performing, start with their mindset. Invite them to live up their potential. Find out what's holding them back and help them reshape how they think about their work.

Changing mindsets changes lives.

What are we Afraid of?

2012-01-03T04:29:00.000-08:00

When I reflect back over my life as a manager of others, I am wildly unsatisfied. I failed as a manager in the moments that mattered most. This wasn't for lack of desire to be a good manager or commitment to my people. It was because I failed to tell my people the truth in the moments when it mattered the most.

I had bought into the notion that my job as a manager was to make the lives and experiences of my employees better, happier by fixing the things that they complained about. So, when one of my staff showed up at my door with a complaint, concern or issue, my instinct was to try to resolving the issue or perfecting the circumstance that was causing the employee pain. That seemed like the reasonable thing to do and generally it seemed to make the employee happier by the time they left my office.

The problem was that the same employees kept coming back to my office with new complaints and new circumstances for me to fix. In hind sight, I now realize how vicious this cycle was over time, but I couldn't see it until later.

One example stands out in my mind. A member of my HR staff showed up at my door one day and asked for a few minutes. Turns out she had been nominated to come talk to me about the concerns of a small group of employees on my staff. They had a concern that I was favoring a particular group of employees on my staff over them. And further, they felt like I should be walking down to talk to them more often, as they felt I spent more time talking to other members of staff than I did to them.

There was some truth underlying this complaint. I did spend more time with some members of my staff than others. The high performers who were highly engaged and making good things happen garnered more of my attention. It was intentional. This isn't something a good manager should ever apologize for. It was probably also true that I didn't walk down to talk to those employees as much as others. I have never been a great chit chatter so I don't really small talk with anyone. I talk about work. Those who are most engaged in doing great work get more of my time, period. Also, not something a manager should apologize for.

But, when that employee was in front of me that day, I didn't say these things. I didn't explain to the employee that if she wanted more of my attention, she could get it by stepping up her game. Instead, I apologized. I said that I would do better. I told her I would fix it.

I failed as a manager.

Not only did I not invite her to step up to better performance. I took away from her a positive learning experience. I could have helped her understand that her frustration was coming from things within her own control. I could have held her accountable for her own role in this perceived "slight." But, I didn't.

I should have told her the truth the same way that I write it here today. What was I afraid of?

All too often in both our professional and personal lives, we miss the opportunity to tell the truth, to say the things that need to be said. Certainly, telling the truth in important conversations is risky, but these risks are what can make you a better person, a more powerful leader.

Here a few reasons why the truth is powerful option:

The truth reveals your true intentions. It clarifies your expectations to the other person and breaks through artificial barriers that might otherwise define a relationship.
Telling the truth improves your thinking. When you tell the truth about your feelings or beliefs, then you reveal yourself in a way that allows for truly meaningful feedback and dialogue that might either strengthen or even change your beliefs. If you are in the habit of telling the truth, then you worry less about crafting your words and more about improving your thinking and belief system.
The truth is authentic. While it may cause some short term tension or conflict, in the long run it sets you up for more satisfying relationships.
The truth scares inauthentic and phony people out of your life.

So, why not speak the truth more often? What are we afraid of?

2011 Most Popular Posts

2011-12-29T04:02:00.000-08:00

It is the time of year to be reflective, to take stock of the past year and what we've accomplished while we turn our eyes to the upcoming year and make big plans. So, as I looked back at 2011 through the lens of what I shared here on the blog, I thought I'd share some of the most popular posts form the year before I turn the page to begin 2012.

My 2011 Top Posts in Chronological Order

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog. It's a treat for me to have the opportunity to share my thoughts here and for others to actually read it. I am grateful and humbled by you.

Thank you. And Happy New Year. I'll see you 2012.

Giving the Gift of Validation

2011-12-28T04:14:00.000-08:00

Every now and again, I get an email from someone who reads my blog or who has seen me speak. Sometimes, all the notes say is "Great post, I really enjoyed the perspective." Other times, the note will relay that my message has touched their lives in some way. These notes are some of the greatest gifts I receive throughout the year because they give me the feeling of validation--that my work matters.

Because these small notes matter to me, I have made it a goal to recognize others in my life when they make an impact on me--even if it's just to thank them for making a mark on my day or my life. I've found that in almost every case, the person on the other end of that interaction seems grateful for the acknowledgement.

In October of this year, on my way to a conference in Vegas, I encountered the most amazing flight attendant on my Southwest flight. He was terrific. His demeanor and attitude were infectious and his service couldn't have been any better. By the end of the flight, I was sort of in awe of him and how he was so amazing at his job. So, when we hit the ground in Vegas, the first thing I did was tweeted Southwest airlines about how amazing he was (not sure they pay attention because they didn't tweet me back). But, more importantly, on my way out of the plane, I said to him, "You are really remarkable at your job. Thank you." It was his response that floored me. He said, "Thank you. We don't hear that kind of think very often."

He was amazing at his job, in a business where amazing is not all that easy to find. And yet, he seemed to be starving for validation, for acknowledgement that his work makes a difference. What a shame.

So, as we draw this year to a close, take some time to reflect on who has really made a difference in your life or who you were dazzled by in 2011 and then take the step to acknowledge them for the impact they've had on you. If you read a great book this year that you can't stop thinking about, write the author a note and tell them as much. If you child's teacher really helped them get motivated this year, write them an email to let them know that their efforts matter. If one of your co-workers really stepped up to support you throughout this year, make sure they know that you noticed and that you appreciate them. Those few minutes you take to validate the work of another may not seem like a lot to you, but it can mean the world to the person on the other end.

Give the gift of validation to others. It's one of the easiest, cheapest and most valuable gifts you can give to another person.

A Cultural Lesson from Christmas Music

2011-12-20T05:05:00.000-08:00

I love Christmas music. I'm not ashamed to admit it. I listen to Christmas music as my music of choice from Thanksgiving to New Year's every year. In fact, as a card carrying member of Gen X, I've even created several "mix tapes" of Christmas music from my 30+ Christmas CD's I own. My wife is convinced I have a problem, but she plays along since she likes the music too.

As I was listening to one of the local 24/7 Christmas music stations the other night while washing dishes, something struck me. One of the really unique things about Christmas music is that it comes in every flavor imaginable. As you listen to Christmas music, you'll get a jazz song, followed by country, followed by pop, followed by instrumental rock, followed by classical, etc. You get the idea. Christmas music represents a giant mashup of every kind of musical style. It's vibrant and interesting and fun. And I think that's part of the reason people love it. It's the only time of year when most of us expose ourselves to such a wide variety of musical styles--and it's refreshing.

But, at the same time, Christmas music is familiar. In the midst of all this diversity of musical styles is a common theme that I can connect to (and often sing along with). It is this familiarity that holds Christmas music together as a genre and what makes it so powerful. We know the words. We know the tunes. We know the stories. And it's fun to hear so many unique and interesting interpretations of this familiarity.

As we reflect on this, I wonder if there's a lesson for culture building hidden within this phenomena of Christmas music. In order for us to fully appreciate and make room for the power of diversity within our organizations, maybe we have to start with creating the familiarity. I think that cultural familiarity comes in the form of values. We recognize and feel comfortable in a culture where we recognize our values. Where our values are honored and lived. If I'm creative, I feel at home in a culture that practices a value of creativity.

Maybe if we can create a firm foundation of values to establish familiarity for those in the culture, then we can begin to make room for the vibrance of diversity as we see these values brought to life in many different ways. If we both share a value of creativity, then when you express it one way and I express it another way, that's not only okay, it actually makes the experience better. It that creates a more robust exchange and allows us to create in more meaningful ways together.

So, as you finish your shopping or holiday preparations, take a few minutes to listen for the diversity that lives in Christmas music. And then, when you head back to work after your holiday, let's find a way to bring some of that diversity with us.

It is NOT the Thought that Counts

2011-12-14T04:58:00.000-08:00

Among the highlights of 2011 for me is getting connected with Jeffrey Cufaude and his work at Idea Architects. If you aren't following him and reading his stuff, you should be. He will inspire you.

This week, in a blog post, he provided me with a spark of inspiration by referencing how often we use the phrase "It's the thought that counts," particularly during this time of year. He simply referenced this quote to set up a really great point about quality versus quantity--but it got me thinking.

I wish we'd erase this phrase from our language. Because, I'm here to tell you, it is NOT the thought that counts, it is your actions that count. I'm not suggesting that being thoughtful and intention isn't important because it is critically important. But, if your actions don't align to your thoughts or intentions, they are meaningless.

Let me provide some examples of thoughts that don't count without action:

I thought about speaking up to support you in that meeting when you were being attacked.
I thought about donating to my local charity.
I thought about spending some time with my kids.
I thought about getting an MBA.
I thought about asking my colleague what was wrong when I saw them come into the office clearly distraught.
I thought about calling an old friend who's fallen on hard times.
I thought about starting a blog.
I thought about having an estate plan created to protect my family.
I thought about having my co-worker's back.
I thought about working out.
I thought about sending out Christmas cards this year.

So, is it the thought that counts? I think not. In fact, taking the right action without a lot of thought (or any thought at all) can often be worth infinitely more than a thought.

If you want to be a game changer, being a thoughtful person who takes bold action is the way to go. Never under-estimate the power of combining your intentions with your actions.

After all, "it's the ACT that counts."

Do you have a Point of View?

2011-12-13T05:52:00.000-08:00

Know why you do what you do. That is what harnessing the power of intention in your life boils down to. Last week, I wrote a post on this subject called "The HR Point of View" for the "We Know Next" blog published by the Society for Human Resources Management (SHRM). Granted, this particular post is pointed at HR professionals, but the underlying message and call to action is true for anyone in any profession.

If you want to be exceptional at what you do, if you want to truly make an impact, then you need to cultivate a point of view about your work. You need to be very clear about what matters to you when it comes to your work and what great work looks like. And, you need to know where you are willing to draw the line.

The thing that I didn't address in my SHRM post is that most people avoid having a point of view for a simple reason--fear. When you adopt a point of view or a specific philosophy about your work, it means that there will be times when you have to take a stand and push back. That means conflict and most of us hate conflict, it's wired into us.

Developing a point a view indicates that you are at least intellectually willing to take a stand, to face the conflict. But, it takes courage to actually hold the line when the conflict comes. And many of us get petrified at the notion of this kind of conflict.

But, here's the thing--it is on the other side of the choice to make that stand where all of your excellence lives. Once you make a choice to practice your profession on your terms and in the way that allows you to best show your talents, you will be able to accomplish things that don't seem possible today.

Guest Post: Birthdays in the Workplace

2011-12-12T05:18:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago, I got an email from a woman named Erin Palmer at Villanova University who asked if I would be open to her providing a guest post for my site. Since Erin is in the HR education business and was bold enough to reach out and ask to collaborate, she had my ear. When she said that she wanted to write a post about how birthday's are treated in the workplace, she had my interest. I am pleased to share Erin's post with you here. If you like the post, please ping her on twitter at @Erin_E_Palmer to let her know. Enjoy.

Birthdays in the Workplace

On my birthday this year, one of my coworkers was kind enough to bring in cupcakes. It was a lovely gesture that was appreciated by me and my sweet-toothed colleagues. As a result, I got many birthday well-wishes during the day. Another coworker later emailed me to explain that he didn’t send me birthday greetings due to religious beliefs. I thought that was very considerate of him, but entirely unnecessary.

The entire experience got me to thinking about birthdays in the workplace. I’m an adult, so I would never be offended if someone ignored my birthday. However, I’ve noticed that many people don’t feel the same way. I’m in my twenties, and my peers are particularly birthday-crazy. My generation has taken birthdays to the extreme. Many of my friends celebrate their birthday week or even birthday month. Moreover, they expect others to celebrate along with them.

Don’t get me wrong, I love birthdays. If my husband forgot my birthday, he’d be in trouble. Remembering my birthday is his job. However, I don’t expect celebrations at my actual job. I appreciate the acknowledgment, but certainly don’t require it.

Birthdays in the workplace bring out a lot of questions for human resources professionals. Some companies ignore birthdays entirely while others actively reach out to birthday girls and boys for celebration purposes. Some offices have monthly celebrations that combine all of the month’s birthdays. How much or little birthdays are celebrated depend upon the company’s culture.

In any workplace there will be employees that would love to be serenaded with the birthday song and others that would rather hide than be sung to. There isn’t one right way to approach an employee’s birthday. It all comes down to what makes sense for the company. It is important for HR to be consistent with how the company handles such celebrations. Employees can decide to plan a lunch for a specific colleague, but HR needs to make sure that the company treats the employees equally.

Regardless of how HR handles workplace birthdays, employees should also remember that everyone is different. Don’t guilt your coworkers if they choose not to attend your birthday lunch. You never know what their reasons are. Celebrate in whatever way will make you happy… even if that means not celebrating at all.

Erin Palmer wrote this article on behalf of the online humanresources programs at Villanova University. For those generous companies,consider treating your employees to an education for their birthday! Villanovaoffers an HR Mastersonline or courses to help with SHRM’s PHR certification. Erincan be reached on Twitter @Erin_E_Palmer.

The Lesson from a Two-Year-Old Smashing my Flat Screen TV

2011-12-08T03:43:00.001-08:00

Well, yesterday was just one of those days.

The day got off on the tangent it was going to travel at about 7 a.m. That's when my two year old son, the tiny tornado of destruction named Colton, apparently decided that we needed a new television. He was walking through the living room, innocently enough, carrying a foam covered toy baseball bat. In hindsight, having a bat of any kind in the house was a poor parenting choice, but I digress. Then, as my wife was walking over to get him for breakfast, it happened.

He swung the bat. He wasn't even facing the TV when he swung, but the bat found it anyways. And, as the bat hit the TV, the picture vanished. The bat had crushed the panel of our flat screen. In the blink of an eye, it had happened. It was a goner. Toast.

I wasn't actually in the room when this happened. My wife relived the story with me once she calmed down enough to tell it. And, as we stood in the dining room talking about what had just happened, I uttered the five words that helped me change my life many years ago.

"It is what it is."

There was nothing at that point I could do to change the outcome. Colton is a handful. He's every story you've heard about the terrible twos all wrapped up into one child. But, he wasn't trying to break the TV. And despite the fact that I really wanted to be mad at him for this, I couldn't be. After all, we shouldn't have ever let a bat in the house and we certainly shouldn't have let him carry it around.

When things like this happen, it's easy to get swept up in emotion. I could have gotten really angry with Colton or with my wife since she was in the room when it happened. I could have felt pity, "why does this stuff always happen to me." I could have gotten frustrated that my plans for the day had now significantly changed.

But here were the facts. My two-year-old son swung a bat that I allowed him to have in the house and he accidentally broke the TV. That's it. I happened and it was now time to decide what to do next. We decided we needed to replace the TV, so that became the next step for us.

"It is what it is."

Channeling these five words in my career as a manager, leader, and HR guy has been invaluable. People do some silly things. People say some silly things. Unfortunate things happen sometimes. And whenever I encounter something unexpected, I utter those five words. They remind me that reality happens. There's no point in arguing with it. The only positive thing we can do is absorb the facts of what happened, and then take forward action. This approach has allowed me to drastically reduce the amount of unnecessary emotion that I used to have in my life and my work. It keeps me grounded and helps me navigate more smoothly through difficult situations. Without emotion, you can see situations and people much more clearly.

Perhaps it will work for you too. Next time you want to get really angry at a co-worker, boss, spouse or child, stop yourself and instead say, "It is what it is." And then focus on what you can do next to help improve the situation. This approach has changed my life. Perhaps it will yours too.

If Charlie Sheen can be Replaced, So can You.

2011-12-07T03:58:00.001-08:00

Over my years in HR, a common phenomena that to encounter in the workplace is a type of employee I'll call the "Rock Star Jackass." You know the type. This is the employee that can produce tremendous tangible results (sales, work product, etc.), far better than their peers. They are rock stars when it comes to results. But, they have a dark side. They are difficult to work with. They don't follow rules. They are borderline (if not blatantly) insubordinate. And, nobody really likes them (except maybe their customers). They behave like a jackass.

I'm sure you recognize the type. The best pop culture example we've had in recent time is Charlie Sheen. From what was reported in the news over the years about Mr. Sheen, I think it's safe to say that he is a pretty good example of what I'm talking about.

Rock Star Jackasses are difficult to handle in the workplace. I've coached many managers throughout the years who struggled mightily with this type of person. It's a double edged sword. On the one hand, managers are held accountable primarily for the results of their team. So, when a single person is responsible for generating a large chunk of those results, it's tempting to just avoid the issues to not derail the gravy train. But, on the other hand, these employees are generally terrorizing their manager and fellow employees. They take an enormous toll on morale and productivity. So, what do you do?

Apparently, you fire them.

I was delighted to find a news article recently that reports that the CBS show Two and a Half Men, from which Charlie Sheen was fired and replace by Ashton Kucher earlier this year, is experiencing tremendous ratings growth over last year when Sheen was still on the show.

Ten months after "Two and a Half Men" looked destined for cancellation, TV's top rated sitcom is the biggest ratings gainer of the new fall season.

The show has far exceeded . . . expectations -- and also those of Sheen. Soon after Ashton Kutcher was named as his replacement, Sheen predicted in May that the show would average a mere 2.0 rating among 18-to-49-year-olds.

"Enjoy the show, America," he told TMZ. "Enjoy seeing a 2.0 in the demo every Monday, WB."

Try three times that. The show is averaging a 6.4 rating, far better than the 4.6 it earned last year with Sheen in the lead. It has averaged 17.8 million total viewers.

This is a great reminder that no one is indispensable. No matter how great an individual's performance might be or how large of a percentage of your team's performance they make up, they are not irreplaceable. Performance is about more than just the numbers. If an employee creates drama in the workplace and tears others down, then their emotional expense on the organization is likely cancelling out the value of their tangible performance. The move valuable employees are those who deliver great tangible performance at very low emotional expense. They are good corporate citizens, they help others succeed and they don't contribute any drama.

So, remember, don't let an employee hold you hostage because they have high performance. If Charlie Sheen can be replaced, anyone can.

Stretch Yourself

2011-12-06T04:07:00.001-08:00

My wife signed up this week to run a half marathon in the spring. She invited me to sign up with her--which I seriously contemplated--at least for a couple of days. I even spent some time running on the track at the gym to see how my body would hold up to the punishment of pounding my feet against the ground (not well, in case you are interested). But as I thought about it, I started to remember the pain she went through last year as she prepared for what was then her first half marathon (The picture is of my wife, Angie (left), and her friend after finishing last year's half-marathon.). At different times during training, she was icing her aching knees, hips and various other parts of her body. She was hurting. The training was grueling and at times, it didn't seem like she was having a lot of fun. But, she did it. She ran her first half marathon in a time she was happy with. And I am incredibly proud of her.

I have always said since my college days, that running a marathon isn't something I have any interest in doing. For one, my body isn't designed to withstand the punishment that long distance running places on it. Thanks to my genetics, most of my joints are not designed well for any type of impact, which is why I've logged in what seems like a million hours on zero-impact elliptical machines. But despite that, I still seriously considered signing up for this marathon with my wife. Why?

Turns out, I love stretch assignments. For me, stretch assignments are big goals that I'm not sure I can accomplish when I set out. The reason I even contemplated signing up for the half marathon was that I'm not sure I could actually do it. I know that the process of trying to do it would force me to grow and do things I maybe didn't think possible. Alas, I decided not to run the half marathon because the risk to my body was not worth it to me. But I am now on the path to identify a different stretch assignment in the arena of my physical health.

All of this got me thinking about the power of stretch assignments. These kinds of assignments and goals can be a little scary for both individuals and managers because they appear to have a lot of risk involved. But, the risk goes away if you truly believe these two things:

Long term growth is more valuable than short term comfort.
Failure isn't permanent, it's one of the best ways to learn and grow.

If you truly believe in these two things, there is very little risk in stretch assignments. In fact, you may start to wonder why you would want anything but a stretch assignment if you are looking at the big picture.

Stretch assignments show up in our personal life and our professional life. As an example, I agreed a year ago to serve as the Chair of the Board of Directors for Habitat for Humanity here in Omaha. At the time, I was somewhat reluctant to take on the role because I didn't feel that I was sufficiently qualified. Despite my reservations, the Board Chair at the time and the CEO of the organization assured me that I was the right person for the job. So, I said yes. My term starts in January. I still think I'm probably not fully qualified for the role, but I'm learning already and I'm going to do my very best to serve the organization over the next year. I am going to be stretched.

So, if you want to create, find or assign stretch assignments to fuel growth for yourself or others, here are some of the components of a great stretch assignment.

Motivation. Taking on a stretch assignment that isn't connected to something you care about is a recipe for disappointment. If I wasn't serious about my health, I wouldn't even consider a marathon because the struggle of the process would wear me down quickly and I would need the commitment to my health to power me through the tough times. The same is true if you are a leader who assigns others to stretch assignments. The best stretch assignments connect to the interests, passions or desires of an individual.
Real possibility of failure. A legitimate stretch assignment is one where it's almost as likely that you will fail as succeed. From a learning perspective, I always use this quote to remind me of the importance of failure in motivating learning: "The moment you become more serious about knowing how to swim is right before you are about to drown." Feeling the breath of potential failure on your neck as it stands right behind you is a huge motivation. The higher the likelihood of failure, the more "stretch" will be involved and the more learning that is likely to occur.
Discomfort. We don't learn when we are comfortable. Comfortable means safety. Safety isn't bad, but safety is the opposite of growth. In order to stimulate human growth requires getting uncomfortable. Feeling uninformed is uncomfortable. Feeling inadequate or under-skilled is uncomfortable. Feeling like you are going to be exposed for these things is really uncomfortable. And yet, that's when our brains respond and our learning accelerates.
Support. I'm not talking about a safety net kind of support, but rather the kind of support that will help you learn and process the situation as you go. Do you have mentors who can share wisdom with you? Do you have people who will lend you support? When my wife ran the marathon last year, she had a lot of support. One of her friends signed up to run it with her. They trained together. When one wanted to quit, the other would pull them through. She also had me to encourage her and make sure she had the time to train adequately. She had no safety nets, but she had support to help her along the way.

The end of the year is a time of reflecting and planning. As you reflect on 2011, consider how much you were stretched this year. Aren't sure? Ask how much failure you risked this year--that will help reveal the answer to you. And if you didn't stretch, what growth or opportunity did you sacrifice? If you did stretch, what did you gain?

And, as you plan for next year, think about how much you desire to grow or grow others. If growth is important, if development is key, then stretch assignments are critical. Put yourself and those you lead in stretch assignments. Because as real as the potential for failure is when you do it, the rewards are exponentially greater. Succeeding at a stretch assignment not only provides amazing learning, but it builds confidence and creates an appetite for greater challenge.

Friday is for Freak Flags

2011-12-02T04:40:00.001-08:00

If you follow this blog, you already know that I am a bit of a sports junkie. Occasionally, I'll even watch the ESPN show, The Sports Reporters (which I don't generally recommend because it's like watching a debate team competition for sports geeks--unless your are into that sort of thing).

One of the regulars on the show is a guy named Woody Paige, a columnist for the Denver Post. When Woody is on the sports reporters, he writes quotes on a board that shows in the background behind him as he banters away with the other reporters. His quotes are often the best part of the show for me.

A few weeks ago, he had a quote written on his board that stuck with me and that I'd like to share with you as you head into the weekend.

"You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same."

Right on, Woody. Right on.

Protect your High Expectations

2011-11-30T04:09:00.001-08:00

Yesterday, as I shared coffee with a friend, we shared stories about how hard it is to find organizations and partners who at least live up to our expectations and how rare it seems to have become to find one that exceeds them. We've both had challenges recently where we've hired someone who claims expertise to help us with something that is far outside our areas of expertise only to be let down in significant ways.

After about 20 minutes of story sharing, she asked me this question: "Are our expectations just too high?"

That seeming innocent question is really what's at the root of so many of the problems we face today in our workplaces and in our lives. No, your expectations aren't too high. Expectations are what guide our interactions with the world and with other people. And possessing high expectations with conviction is a gift that was likely given to you along the way by a parent, teacher or other role model. You should protect them fervently.

So, where's the problem? I have had a lot of conversations like this one over the years. It seems that by having high expectations, your journey through life can be pretty frustrating at times because so many will fail to live to those high expectations. And, there are many who will happily advise that life would be so much easier if only you'd lower those lofty expectations to be more "realistic." No way, not on my watch.

So, if it's not wrong to have high expectations, then what gives? Here's what I think is going on and what I think we need to do about it.

1. We don't articulate our expectations clearly. I have two tenants central to my management philosophy. First, set crystal clear expectations. Second, get out of the way. Without exception, people will fail to live up to your expectations if you do not clearly articulate these expectations to them up front. This is true for spouse, kids, friends, co-workers, bosses, service providers and anyone else who you interact with. Granted, when you are paying someone for service, it's not unreasonable to expect them to ask you questions to help understand and set your expectations, but I've found it's much more reliable to take on this responsibility yourself. Example: I expect you to be clear on your expectations.

2. We aren't good at holding people accountable to your expectations. This is what I wrote about yesterday. For whatever reason, we've gotten squimish about holding other people accountable for doing what they are expected to do. When we communicate clear expectations, then it's not only reasonable, but expected of you that there will be accountability for meeting these expectations. This means that some times you have to have some pretty fierce conversations with people. And by fierce, I don't mean disrespectful, but rather honest, candid discussion about where expectations aren't being met and how to make it right. Here's the dirty secret about accountability. If expectations are clear, there are no surprises. People know when they aren't meeting expectations. And a majority of the time, it creates more tension and negativity when you don't address the gap than if you do. When you have the fierce conversation, you are taking action to ensure a more satisfactory outcome. Both parties to the conversation win. And don't forget, accountability also means celebrating and rewarding those who do exceed your expectations. When you find someone who does great by your and exceeds your expectations, find ways to reward them.

3. Due to the first two points, I think that service quality has deteriorated dramatically on the average and it needs to change. There are too many organizations and professionals that are getting by on doing average work at average quality because they aren't being held accountable to a higher standard. It pains me. And, this has been a great reminder to me as someone starting a new company in the services business, that I have to work really hard to hold myself to very high standard because it won't always be the case that my customers will. It should also be a good reminder to anyone in a position to provide service whether it be in a corporate environment, retail business, as a leader or at home. I don't know about you, but I am committed to be one of the examples of people who exceed my customer's expectations.

So, at the end of the day, it's not our high expectations that are the problem. It's what we do with those high expectations that really makes the difference. Life is too short and business moves too fast to have low expectations. If you are going to be exceptional, you have to expect exceptional things from yourself and others. Share those expectations with others and invite them to live up to them. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised by what happens.

The Accountability Contagion

2011-11-29T03:56:00.001-08:00

I'm worried about us as a collective group of human beings. We seem to be very on edge and out of sorts. We don't want to offend and yet we are easily offended. We desire real conversation, and yet, we avoid conflict because it's uncomfortable. We desire to have all that we want (big TV's, fancy houses, snazzy cars) and yet we resent the risks and trade-offs it takes to create that kind of wealth. We want to feel good, but we won't do the hard work to achieve real health.

We seem to have lost touch with reality.

I'm speaking in generalizations here, of course, but look around. Even if you are one of the few who is truly grounded, you will see this chaos everywhere. Somewhere along the way, we seem to have forgotten that the outcomes in our lives are directly an outcome of our actions. And, our actions are orchestrated by our beliefs and mindsets. The connection that bridges the two and grounds a person in reality is accountability.

Being accountable means that you own the outcomes of your actions (your results), good or bad, without excuse and without exception. True accountability seems to be increasingly rare. If we watch the news, we are hard pressed to find examples of accountability in action. The political strategy of the day seems to be to avoid accountability at all costs, even to the point of taking no meaningful action to ensure plausible deniability should something bad happen. Once in a while, you'll see an example of accountability in action, and sadly, it stands out so much that you might write a blog post about it.

The crazy thing about accountability is that while so many people seem to be avoiding it, embracing accountability is energizing and it opens up opportunities. If you take accountability for your own results, then you spend a lot less time worrying about what other people are doing or might do. Accountability also helps you shed false stories you've created in your head about why you aren't getting ahead in your job or your life. Instead, you look in the mirror and make the changes that are within your control to propel you towards what you want. And, accountability lessens the sting of failure because when you fail, it's on your terms. You know why you failed and you focus on what you can do differently to avoid failing the same way in the future. Being accountable in failure is about leadership because accountability erases blame and accusations that often make failures far worse than they ever need to be.

Accountability is the truest form of empowerment. It is an invitation to live up to your potential.

So, what do we do? Well, it turns out the accountability can be learned and it's contagious. By simply being accountable and holding others accountable, you can start a trend. Being accountable will make you stand out, and others will want to mimic the behavior you role model. Being held accountable is how we learn what accountability feels like. So, whenever you have the opportunity, hold people accountable. Expect them to do what they promise, to live up to expectations. Respectfully call them on it when they don't and let them know that you expect more of them.

Why Performance Appraisals Must Die

2011-11-23T03:52:00.001-08:00

Yesterday, TLNT.com was kind enough to publish a post (rant) that I wrote about why the traditional performance appraisal process needs to go away and what we might do in its absence. It's a terrible and sometimes harmful process and its time has passed.

If you are interested in reading more and joining the movement to eradicate the performance appraisal, you can find the article here.

Thank you for reading and sharing my blog. I am thankful for you.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Where did all the fun go?

2011-11-22T04:34:00.001-08:00

There is a direct flight on Southwest Airlines from Omaha to Las Vegas. Every time I'm on this flight, the flight attendants delight me. This crew injects Vegas energy and fun into the flight experience as soon as we push away from the gate. The normal boring announcement is injected with personality. They sign, they joke, they laugh a lot. Without exception, this flight is always the most fun I'm going to have on a flight. I'm not sure if the crew for this flight is specially selected because of their personality or if they are encouraged to have fun or if it just happens because the passengers are in a better than average mood collectively. Whatever it is, the differentiating factor on this flight is fun. The people working the flight are having fun, so I end up having fun.

Reflecting on this reminded me of a post I wrote earlier this year about an ESPN piece about an Icelandic Soccer team that had crazy (and wildly creative) goal celebrations. When I think about what made this particular soccer team stand out enough to warrant coverage on the biggest sports network in the world, it was because they are so clearly having fun in their work.

So, this brings me to a really important and profoundly depressing question: When did having fun in your work because such a competitive advantage? Whether it's the Pike Place Fish Market or your local ice cream shop, when we encounter people having fun at work, it's memorable. Witnessing people having fun and really enjoying their work has a magnetic effect.

Which begs the question, why aren't more people doing it?

Jobs and Tribes: People make the Experience

2011-11-21T03:51:00.001-08:00

Folding clothes sucks. I find it a monotonous, boring task that I like to avoid when I can. But, as an aspiring good husband, sometimes I have to suck it up and do it. Yesterday was one of those days.

Bailey, my little helper.

As I was standing in front of the bed, beginning the task, my three year old daughter came into the bedroom and immediately said "Daddy, I want to help you." So, she began sorting clothes into separate piles, one for each member of the family. It was incredibly cute and I noticed that I was really enjoying my folding. Even more, I was smiling. It was fun.

I know that I have often underestimated the importance of the people when it comes to enjoying my work. When I have looked for a job in the past, my criteria were usually something like this:

The role (what are the responsibilities and opportunities involved?)
The location (I generally wasn't able or willing to relocate, so . . . )
The comp (what do I get for doing a great job?)
The upside (where can I go with the company once I master this role?)

This list is unique to me, but I would guess that most people have a similar type list. The order might be different, but I think we all generally judge potential jobs based similar criteria.

There's a huge problem with my list. "The People" is completely missing (it's at least not in the top 4). I'm not sure why, but the people never really became a top of mind consideration until after I took the job. Perhaps I thought I could work with anyone--and I have. But, what I know for sure is that as I reflect on my job satisfaction over the years, the jobs I loved where the ones where I was working with people who I loved to work with (and socialize with in many cases). When I was a member of a great tribe of people at work, the work just seemed like it was more fun to do--much like my discovery that laundry is more fun to do with a brilliantly cute, 3-year-old partner.

So, my take away from this reflection is to keep the people top of mind as we choose our work. It's even important to think of the people when you hire someone to work on a project with you as a vendor or consultant. My favorite vendor partners over the years have also been my favorite people. In fact, my new business partner, Cy Wakeman and I met when my company hired her as a consultant. We did great work together and we had a great time as we did it. Great people and great relationships make doing business meaningful (and often fun).

One of my friends, who is a small business owner/freelancer, chooses his clients and projects based on a set of criteria:

The work
The people
The money

He won't take on a project unless two of the three items are really exciting to him. If he loves the work involved and the people he gets to work with, he'll take the project even if the money isn't the greatest. Alternatively, if the people and the money are good, he'll sometimes take on a client where the actual project work isn't that exciting.

"The People" are critically important. Never underestimate the power of a great tribe to turn an average looking job into a remarkable experience.

Video Blog Post #3: Freak Flag Friday Edition

2011-11-18T04:04:00.001-08:00

It's been a few weeks since my last video post. This week, I celebrate Freak Flag Friday by making a confession (Hint: it has to do with swearing).

Have a great weekend!

The Truth will Set you Free

2011-11-17T03:54:00.001-08:00

I was in a meeting yesterday where a friend was describing a work problem she was having with a vendor who's service wasn't meeting her expectations. She described in detail what the problem is, what impact it is having and then she went on to explain why it was a challenging issue to tackle with the vendor.

Once she described the situation, she asked the group for advice on how to handle the situation. I innocently suggested that perhaps she should call the vendor and describe the situation to him exactly the way she had just described it to the group including why it was difficult to call him. Based on the look I got, you would have thought I had just suggested we rob a bank or commit murder. Apparently, the notion of calling the person who can solve the problem and telling them the truth was out of the question.

I bump into this kind of thinking a lot. For some reason, we've convinced ourselves that telling the hard truth in situations that might lead to conflict is not an acceptable path. And it's costing us a lot in time, energy and emotional drain.

The issue is that we write a bunch of stories in our head about why we can't have the real conversation that matters because of how the other person might react or what the possible repercussions might be. Take my friend's situation. The irony was that one of the things she was contemplating was whether it was time to find a new vendor. Consider that for a moment. She was convinced that it was as good of a strategy to go through the pain and time of changing vendors rather than having an uncomfortable conversation with the one that already knows her business.

Unfortunately, I see this a lot. We spend a lot of time and energy avoiding having the conversations that would make all the difference. Telling someone an uncomfortable truth is not easy, but it's one of the most important things you can do as a leader. Let's be clear, telling the truth and having hard conversations doesn't mean that you can't be empathetic, compassionate or diplomatic. That's all about how you deliver the truth and of course it's important to handle the conversation professionally and with dignity, but you still need to speak the truth.

Next time you find yourself in a situation where you are talking to someone else about the problems you are having with another person, stop yourself and go talk to the person with whom you have the problem. Tell them the truth about the problem and how it's impacting you. You will be surprised by the results.

The truth will set you free.

Negotiation is all about Leverage

2011-11-16T03:52:00.001-08:00

I am a sports fan so I watch a lot of ESPN Sportscenter. So, one of the stories that I can't escape is the NBA lockout drama that has been playing out for the last 180 days or so. The NBA has now lost a quarter of it's season and they don't really seem to care about saving the rest of it. This week, the players decided to file anti-trust lawsuits in hopes of advancing their cause. As interesting as it is to watch adult millionaires bicker over money, I personally could care less if they ever end the lockout. Despite that, the lockout has been an interesting case study of how negotiations work and there are some lessons that can be learned.

Negotiation skill seems to be a coveted ability within business. It's something that is thrown into nearly every mid-level management or leadership development curriculum. This stands to reason, I suppose. When you really think about it, we are negotiating pretty regularly as part of our jobs. We start our employment with any company by negotiating our salary and benefits. Then, we negotiate for working arrangements. Our teams are perpetually negotiating for resources, support or access to information. Negotiation happens all constantly.

I was never sent to a formal class on corporate negotiations, so most of my knowledge in this area came from what my Dad taught me growing up and then from my early sales career. Beyond that, it's just been experience. And what my experience tells me is that to win at negotiations, the main thing you have to understand is leverage. The word leverage comes from the root word "lever." If you recall your high school science lectures, a lever is a rigid bar that concentrates power so that you can move an object you wouldn't be able to move otherwise with a direct application of force.

So, when we consider leverage in terms of negotiation, it's about how to concentrate power in order to get the other party to move (to influence their decision). For there to be any real negotiation, both parties need to be in a position where they have both something to give and something to gain. In a salary negotiation, the company can give you more money and benefits, but they also stand to gain your abilities and talents. On your end, you can give more time, energy, focus to the job and you stand to gain more in salary and benefits. The negotiation is sorting out how much each party gives and gets.

The NBA lockout negotiation is an interesting example of an imbalance in leverage. Based on the analysis I've formed from the perspective of my couch, it appears that the owners of the league have most of the leverage. The players have money to lose or gain, but they really don't have much to give beyond what they are already contracted to do. They play basketball and get paid or they don't. That's why the lockout began--no basketball means no money for either side. That should be leverage to get a deal done (at least one would hope so), but not necessarily leverage for either side. The lawsuit filed by the players this week is a clear attempt to gain leverage. They didn't have the power at the negotiation table to get a deal done, so now they are hoping the legal system will help them gain a position of power over the owners. This remains to be seen. Both parties in this negotiation seem to be waiting for the other to blink, and neither group seems all that interested in getting back to basketball.

This situation reminded me of the errors I see so many people make when it comes to negotiation in both business contexts and in life. We don't pay close enough attention to leverage until it's too late. For example, if you always feel like you pay too much when you buy a new car, it's because you are letting the car sales person have the leverage over you. Here's what leverage looks like in a car purchase:

Attachment. When you find a car you really like on a car lot, you can get attached quickly. This is leverage for the salesperson. To shift leverage your way, remind yourself that they make cars in mass qualities and that there will be other cars just like this one at other dealers. The biggest leverage you can have in any negotiation is a willingness to walk away from the deal. If the sales person believes you will will walk out the door and keep shopping, they will get a lot more motivated to make you a truly great deal.
Time. If you are interested in a car and want to buy it at that dealership, they will make the process very long to create time pressure. If you feel like you need to get out of there, you may be likely to accept one of their offers just to end the process. They are creating leverage. To shift leverage in your direction, set a deadline when you sit down with the sales person to talk price. Let them know that you are leaving at that time if you have a deal done or not. And, you have to mean it. If you are truly willing to walk out, you have leverage on them to get to the best price quickly.
Information. The more information you know about the car, it's invoice pricing, competitor prices, value, etc., the more leverage you have in the negotiation. The less information you have, the more leverage they have.
Conflict tolerance. The whole purchasing process is designed to manipulate you using your human, behavioral tendencies. They get you say yes several times to prime your brain to say yes to the offer they make. They get you to sign papers that mean nothing, but that psychologically increase your commitment to the process (you feel as though you've entered into some sort of contract with them if you've signed something). Be willing to say no to something in the process. In order to shift the leverage in a process that is designed to manipulate your decision, you have to exert some control of the process. This involves pushing back on their process and making some demands. If you aren't willing to create some conflict in the process by pushing back, you are giving them all the power.

These are just a few examples of what leverage looks like in the car purchasing process. These same items are points of leverage in nearly any negotiation (including those with your spouse or children). There are dozens of more ways that leverage exists or can be created. The key question when it comes to leverage is to determine what levers are in play (like those above) and how important those levers are. The trick is then to use the levers to influence the other party to give you what you want. Most of the time, this can be a win-win situation in which both parties walk away happy.

I'm not a classically trained negotiator, but I've made some really great deals throughout my professional career by simply understanding what leverage existed and then using that leverage to get what I wanted. By studying leverage, you will be well on your way to becoming a powerful negotiator.

Working with Jerks? It might just be You.

2011-11-14T03:26:00.001-08:00

There are some lessons you learn on the journey of life that can change everything. For me, these lessons usually end up stored in my mind as sound bites that are easy to recall for inspiration. Sound bites are great when I need a reminder or I want to share the lesson with others.

One of these lessons that substantially changed how effective I am at working with and leading people is stored in my mind as a four word sound bite:

"Always assume positive intention."

The lesson these four words hold for me is to always assume that the person you are interacting with has positive intentions until proven otherwise. So, when a colleague's comment comes off like a dig at you, assume that it was just a poor choice of words on their part and that they meant no harm. Or, when someone sends you a short email that could be read as angry or hostile, chose instead to assume that they were just in a hurry.

My colleague Cy Wakeman talks about how we constantly writing stories in our head that bring drama into our lives. One of the examples she uses is of a situation we've all probably been in before.

It's first thing in the morning and you meet one of your colleagues in the hall. Your colleague glances at you, doesn't smile or say good morning, and keeps on walking.

At this point, we have a choice. Unfortunately, many of us will have the immediate thought, "What a jerk" in response to being snubbed in the hallway. And, since this person was such a jerk, we decide we should treat him accordingly. So, later in the day, when you see this same person in a meeting, you treat them like a jerk. And, they respond to your jerkiness by acting like a jerk--confirmation that our earlier judgment was true! It's a self-fulfilling prophecy.

On the other hand, let's rewind this scenario and play it out a little differently this time assuming positive intentions. This time, when your colleague neglects to say good morning, you chose to assume that they must have something pretty important on their mind or that they are really busy with work. So, you don't think anything of the experience. Or, maybe you take it a step further and when you see the person later that day, you ask how they are doing and if you can help them out in any way. Obviously, the person on the other end of this experience is going to react in a very different way than the first scenario.

The thing about these two examples is that the other person didn't change. What changed was our mindset about how to react to something happening to us. The magic of the lesson "always assume positive intention" is that by expecting no change from others, you can experience other people in a completely different way. You write positive rather than negative stories in your mind. It's a funny thing. People have a knack of living up or down to your expectations because so much of how we understand people is based on the perspective we bring to the interaction.

By changing how you choose to view people, you literally can change how the work responds to you.

Taking the Sting out of Feedback

2011-11-10T15:00:00.001-08:00

One of the things that makes me laugh every time is when I hear someone (including myself) say that they "love getting feedback." The truth is, we hate getting feedback. We love what feedback can do for us. Feedback helps us get better. But many times, that improvement is fueled by the pain of receiving the feedback and the hope of avoiding that feedback in the future.

For example, early in my career I worked for a recruiting agency. Recruiting, at least at that level, was primarily a phone sales job. So, everyday, we spend our entire day in an office, behind a desk, tied to a phone. We rarely saw customers. And yet, we were required to wear business professional clothing to work each day, including ties for the men. I thought this was stupid. In protest, I did everything to break the code that wasn't technically out of dress code. I wore cheap clothes that weren't in the greatest shape. I never buttoned the top button on my shirts and I often rolled up my sleeves on my shirt. I wore my shabbiness as a protest to "the Man" and his stupid rules.

Then, one day, the owner of the company took me to lunch. Over lunch, he told me how great of a job I was doing with my sales and how he noticed that I was a natural leader within the office. He even said that they we thinking seriously about promoting me to manage a team. But, then he dropped the bomb. The words he said still ring in my ears.

"But, we can't promote you because you look like a slob."

Ouch. He went on to tell me that in order for them to promote me to manager, I had to look like a manager. I still hated the dress code. And I thought it was silly that a promotion decision was being help up based on my clothing. But, I learned a valuable lesson that day. Perception may not always be fair, but it's very real and you have to manage it. The feedback was so painful that it left scar tissue in my brain that serves as a reminder to me every day.

As I reflect on this experience, the thing that is funny to me is that I'm pretty sure my wife has told me many times over the years that my clothing wasn't up to par and that I needed to do something about it. In fact, there was one point where she essentially changed out my entire casual wardrobe. And yet, that lesson didn't sting me nearly as much. It still stuck with me (I dress better all the way around today), but not because of pain. What's the difference?

I tend to think that the difference is a foundation of love and trust. My wife loves me and wants what's best for me. I trust her more than anything and anyone in the world. So, when she gives me feedback, I never worry that it is impacting our relationship or that it has some ulterior motive. I take is as what it is, her caring for me and wanting me to be my best self.

The same transfers to our children. The most important thing I can do as a parent is to ensure that my kids know that they are loved unconditionally. If I build that foundation, then when I have to scold them or discipline them, they never feel like their relationship with me is at risk.

So, how are we doing with this at work? How do your employees take feedback from you? Do they get defensive? Perhaps it's because you haven't established a foundation of love and trust with them first. Obviously, I'm talking about a different kind of love that that of your spouse or children. But, do they believe that you have their best interest at heart at all times? Do they believe that your primary concern is caring for them? If not, when you give them feedback, it can feel to them like your relationship with them is changing--that they are losing some status with you.

It's an interesting question to ponder. I know that some people are easier to love than others, but are we even making the effort?

Why Invest in Young Professionals?

2011-11-10T04:09:00.000-08:00

Today, I get to speak to a group of highly engaged, young professionals. They will be in their early to mid-twenties, full of energy and ambition. This particular group is enrolled in a volunteer mentoring program in the community.

I love speaking to and working with young professionals. I've always thought that the reason was that they were so full of energy and curiosity. They ask questions and they want to learn. All of these characteristics make for a great audience and for a good student. But, this isn't the main reason I love working with this type of group.

For me, I think it's much bigger. For me, working with young professionals is my way of investing in a better future for all of us. I'm pretty fond of illuminating the fact that management sucks and that our workplaces are broken. I can tend to sound pretty cynical when you get me rolling on these subjects. And sometimes it's hard to see where we can take action to break the cycle and start really making thing better.

I think one of the places where we can make a huge difference is with our young professionals. If we can help them start out their journey with a better toolbox or a more grounded perspective, they can make the choice to act differently and think differently. If we can, in some small way, give them permission to expect more from their work and their leaders, to be more individually, then I think we are moving the needle.

All too often, business leaders and the media are quick to write off "Gen Y" and depict them as somehow problematic. I choose to take a totally different view. Gen Y is our future. They hold the power to transform what it means to have a manager and how work should look. But, they need our support. They need our guidance. They need mentors who encourage them to become their best self.

Take the time to invest in your young professionals. It's an investment that can deliver a tremendous return.

Seduced by Safety?

2011-11-03T06:53:00.000-07:00

Safety is overrated. It is a powerful motivator for us as human beings, but our desire for safety often gets in the way of becoming our best self. The path to exceptional runs through a valley of risk. In order to unlock your potential, you must put yourself in situations where there is a significant risk of failure.

I have recently had a couple of really unique speaking engagements that called for me to step outside of my comfort zone. In both cases, I tried to take some of my own medicine and be extra bold, to take the extra risks. As I stepped on the stage, I wasn't certain if either presentation I was about to give would be a hit or a miss. But, I knew that I had to push myself to a place where I wasn't comfortable.

And it paid off. The feedback was great from both presentations. And, as a bonus, I felt great about the experience. It was a great reminder for me that taking risks and putting yourself out near the edge is invigorating. It wakes up the "fight or flight" part of your brain which causes you to focus in a way that is above and beyond the norm. It helps reveal your best self.

Where are you taking risks in your work? In your life? Can you identify the areas where you are putting yourself out there, pushing beyond your comfort zone?

If nothing comes to mind, then I suspect you've been seduced by safety. And safety feels good. It's inviting and comfortable. But safety comes at a high price that's paid for in lost opportunities. Are you willing to keep paying that price?

Pink Hair and the Power of One Voice

2011-10-31T04:17:00.000-07:00

File this post in the folder labeled, "Inspiration comes from unexpected places."

A couple weeks ago, I was heard Howard Stern interview Perez Hilton on my Sirius radio as I was driving from one place to another. For those who don't know Perez Hilton, he's a celebrity gossip blogger on his blog: www.perezhilton.com. Originally, his blog became popular because his posts were snarky and sometimes nasty towards celebrities. Turns out that there was a big market for that sort of thing and seemingly over night, he became famous. Today, his blog is a more mainstream celebrity gossip blog that is regularly read by millions of people. Another social media success story that couldn't have been written 10 years ago.

I've heard Perez Hilton interviewed before. He's a bright, energetic, interesting dude. But, not the kind of guy I would usually expect to provide me a lot of inspiration. And yet, in this interview, he proved to be inspiring on several different levels. First, he is making a pile of money today by blogging--which appears to be his passion. Granted, it sounds like this guy works incredibly hard and for long hours, but he sounds like he loves what he's doing and he's not got a website that he believes is worth over $100 million. Not too shabby.

But, this website success story wasn't what got me in this interview. Instead, it was their conversation about the new children's book that Perez has written titled The Boy with Pink Hair. Here is how Perez summarized the book in his own words.

"It's about being different, finding what makes you special, and sharing it with the world."

Wow, that's powerful stuff--and a particularly great message for children. Perez Hilton is teaching children how to fly their freak flags. That's cool. In this interview, he shared some of his own journey on which he's become much more aware of his own language and impact on others. At the same time, he's learned to embrace who he is and share that fully and authentically with the world.

But, of everything in the interview, there was one quote that stood out to me as he talked about the book and it's message.

"Sometimes, all you need is one person to not look at you like a freak to make all the difference."

This is so true. And it speaks to the power we have to make a difference with others. We have the ability at any moment and at every moment to give others the gift of acceptance, of support, of belief. All it takes is one voice. And we each have the opportunity to use our voice this way. The question is, do we? Do we take the time to acknowledge others who are taking the risk of being different, being themselves, thinking big thoughts and dreaming big dreams? You have to power to provide fuel to those brave souls.

Take the time to acknowledge those around you who don't try to fit in. Let them know that you see them and that you appreciate them and that you support them. It could make all the difference.

#Quotes for Inspiration, Vol 3

2011-10-25T07:00:00.000-07:00

Begin somewhere. You cannotbuild a reputation on what you intend to do.

- Liz Smith

Good ideas and innovationsmust be driven into existence by courageous patience.

- Hyman G. Rickover

Talent is cheaper than tablesalt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lotof hard work.

- Stephen King

When love and skill work together, expect amasterpiece.

- John Ruskin

Without ambition one startsnothing. Without work one finishes nothing.

The prize will not be sentto you. You have to win it.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Giving up doesn't alwaysmean you are weak. Sometimes it meansthat you are strong enough to let go.

- Source Unknown

Only those who will risk going too far can possiblyfind out how far one can go.

- T.S. Eliot

Why Don't You Just Fix it?

2011-10-24T07:00:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, I discovered this sign hung above the toilet in the men's room at a small cafe where I was having breakfast (email subscribers may have to open this post on the web to view the image). The original sign was apparently created by management of the cafe to address a problem with the toilet. Nothing terribly noteworthy about that.

What caught my attention about this sign was the note written in by a patron in pencil on the right side. For those who can't read it, it says "Why don't you just fix it . . . ??" At first, this made me laugh a little bit. But, then I got to thinking about it.

The people who run this cafe at some point realized that they have a toilet problem. They determined through some experimentation (I assume) that the toilet wasn't flushing correctly. At this point, they had a choice. They could fix the toilet. But, that might take time and cost a little money. Alternatively, they could put up a sign informing those who use the toilet to take some extra action to ensure the toilet functions properly, effectively shifting the burden to their customers to make the toilet work. They chose the option that was less burden and cost to management at the detriment (albeit a minor one) to the customer.

I wonder how often we do this in our own work. We don't do it maliciously, but how frequently do we save ourselves time and money by shifting burden to our employees or customers?

We shut down social media access to our employees because of what they might say about the company. If your company is doing things to employees that are so bad that you need to worry about this, why don't you just fix it?
We make customers click 6 times to get to what they want rather than getting there in one click because it would require some redesign. Why don't you just fix it?
We make employees type their resume details into an online job application when they could just send a resume or import their LinkedIn content. Why don't you just fix it?
We know that customers have a difficult time finding our store front because our sign isn't visible from the main road, so we have to send out detailed directions on how to find us. Why don't you just fix it?
We know that everyone hates traditional performance appraisals: employees, managers, HR . . . everyone. We can't find evidence they actually improve performance. And yet, we spend a lot of time and energy forcing people to do them. Why don't you just fix it?
We make a mistake on one of our major customer accounts. We then rally together a committee to determine what we should do and what we should tell the customer. Why don't you just fix it? (And then tell the customer the story about how you fixed it.)

The more I think about this, the more examples I can come up with. I'm sure you can think of examples from your own experience. So, next time you encounter an issue, before you start thinking about all the options, maybe we start with the question:

Why don't we just fix it?

You control NOTHING. Get over it.

2011-10-19T04:40:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking and talking a lot about HR strategic planning lately. And one of the common issues that comes to the surface when you get into planning discussions is control. Here's an example of how it usually plays out.

Through the planning process, your team identifies that one of the critical objectives for the organization is employee retention. Your diligent discovery efforts during the planning process revealed that employee productivity increases with tenure and that you have too many newer employees voluntarily leaving the company currently. So, your team determines that you should make increasing employee retention one of your key strategic objectives of the plan. This also means that it will be a key measure of your success.

But, then someone makes this comment:

"But retention isn't entirely within our control. We can't control how managers treat people. We can't control what happens in an employee's personal life that might lead them to make a job change. There's too many things we don't control. How can our success be measured on something we can't control?"

Sadly, this can grind the process to a halt. The underlying logic of this statement appeals to most reasonable people. Control has a lot of allure and we are drawn to it like moths to a flame. But, we must resist getting caught in this trap. Control, my friends, is an illusion.

I think that this desire for control is probably the single thing that holds most HR leaders back. Somehow we've come to believe that we should only be held accountable for things that are 100% within our control. The problem is that nothing is 100% within our control. The only thing truly ithin our control is our personal attitudes, behaviors and choices. And even those things can be manipulated without our awareness some times.

Control doesn't exist. And if an HR leader would slow down and look around the organization, they'd realize that none of their peers have control either. The head of sales is saddled with a sales target that her team must hit. She doesn't control what the customers will do. She doesn't control how the economy will look. She doesn't even control the choices her sales team makes about what to do or how hard to work. Very little is within her control. But, she has great ability to influence what happens. She makes plans and crafts strategies for what to do to make it highly probable that her team will hit the goal. She acknowledges that there are a lot of variables at work, and she takes the actions that are most likely to lead to success. What she doesn't do is waste time fighting against the goal because it's not within her control. She knows that her job is sales and that regardless of what she controls, she's got to find a way to make it happen.

This same things happens at all levels of leadership. Control doesn't exist. The sooner we realize that, particularly as HR leaders, the sooner we can elevate our game and our standing within the organization.

So, back to the retention example. HR doesn't control all of the variables related to retention. True. But, HR can or does influence every variable related to retention. So, measuring HR on the organizational retention isn't unfair. Quite the contrary, it's a perfect measure of the outcomes that HR should be influencing to help the organization be more productive. In my example particularly, the HR team should embrace retention as their measure and then use all of their energy and focus to drive up the organizations retention.

As a leader, when you fully embrace the reality that you control nothing, you get focused on far more productive activity like listening, building relationships, planning, teaching, thinking, etc. The illusion of control is crippling too many leaders.

Let go of the need for control. It will set you free.

Great Partnerships are Life Changing

2011-10-18T04:36:00.000-07:00

Over the past six months, things have been changing in my life. Professionally, I made the decision to transition from corporate HR executive to full time consultant and speaker for hire. Personally, my family and I have moved to a new house in a new small community. Both pretty big changes in their own right. Together, they have made for a pretty wild ride.

Through this change, I've had a lot of time for learning and growth. One of the things that's I've learned is that I am best when I'm half of a great partnership. For me, there's something really powerful about having the right partner. A partner works with you, supports you, challenges you, and makes you better. A great partner is that person who's always reminding you that you can and will do it. I'm blessed to have several great partnerships in my life.

Professionally, I get to do work with my best friend, Joe Gerstandt, as we create havoc together speaking and writing as our super hero alter ego, Talent Anarchy. This partnership has been growing for a decade now and it's great fun. Joe makes me better and he's the one who's been the constant voice in my ear when I was wearing down from the fight against the status quo, reminding me that "it's not you who's crazy, it's them."

As I've mentioned here before, I'm launching a new consulting business called Bulletproof Talent (more on this soon) with my long time friend, mentor and now partner, Cy Wakeman. Cy has reminded me what it means to work with someone who believes in you and wants you to be exceptional on your own terms. We push each other to be constantly better and think constantly bigger. I'm incredibly excited to discover what kind of exciting places our partnership will take our new business.

But the thing that has become more clear than ever over the past year is that I have the greatest partner in the universe in my wife, Angie. It has been her unshakable belief in me and my abilities that has kept me focused and positive throughout all of this change. Despite the fact that I'm not sure she always understands exactly what I'm up to, she always supports me. She knows me better than I know myself and she recognized that this was the path I should chose long before I did. Unquestionably, the greatest stroke of luck in my life was finding my wife and somehow convincing her to be my partner to travel this journey of life together. I am not who I am without her. She inspires and grounds me at the same time. She is a remarkable partner.

Great partnerships are remarkably powerful. So, I write this post both selfishly to pay tribute and give thanks to my partners, but also to illustrate the power of a great partner. If you want to change the world, change your life, or just change your immediate situation, find a great partner. And know that great partners aren't always easy to find. It took me years and many failed partnerships to find the great one's I have today. The key is to invest in relationships and put yourself out there. When you find someone who might be a great partner, be willing to explore where it can go and formalize the relationship. And, on the other side, when you are in a partnership that isn't working, move on. Because, as powerful as a great partnership can be in lifting you up, a toxic partnership is equally powerful to drag you down.

Today, I give thanks to my amazing partners and I wish for you to have or find the same great support in your life.

Singing Pigs Don't Exist

2011-10-14T04:22:00.000-07:00

Never try to teach a pig tosing. It wastes your time, and it annoys the pig.

-- Folk saying

I was gearing up to share another round of my favorite quotes with you this morning when I stumbled across this one and it stopped me in my tracks. This is one of those quotes for me that has power because on first read, it makes you giggle. Then, when you read it again, it makes you think. The third time you read it, it starts to set in that this isn't funny, it's profound.

It's really easy to get sucked into the exercise of pig singing lessons where we invest our efforts, programs, and resources trying to change something (usually someone) who we know will (or can) never change. Hopefully we've all learned by now from our personal lives that you have to chose a partner to be with who you can accept as they are. They aren't going to change. If you date or marry someone who you need to change in order for them to be your ideal mate, you are in the singing pig business. Zero point zero probability of success.

In our workplaces, we do this all the time. We try to motivate the employee who hates the job, or you, or working in general. We try to fix the manager who clearly should have never been put into management and doesn't really want to be there. We try to convince employees to put the company's interests before their own. Welcome to the singing pig business: wasting time, annoying the pig.

So, what's the alternative? First step, wake up to reality. Pigs can't sing. No matter what you do or how brilliant you might be at teaching singing. You will never be successful at teaching a pig to sing.

Then, decide if you are in the pig business or the singing business. This means figuring out what your purpose is. Taking the example above of the bad manager. Are you committed to great management (singing business)? If so, then that manager needs to immediately put into a different role or moved out of management in another way so that you can put a real manager in his place (or at the very least someone with the potential to be a real manager). Alternatively, maybe you just want to minimize the damage being caused by this bad manager (pig business). So, maybe you add an assistant manager to the team to make up for the managers weaknesses and short-comings as a manager and to protect the people from this bad management. Either way, you are finally able to take some meaningful action. Trying to teach the pig to sing (making the "I don't have the basic capabilities to manage" manager into a good manager) is a waste of your time, and it isn't much fun for that manager either.

Instead, invest your time where you have a high probability of success. Help people be more of what they naturally are. Help them build on and become their best selves. Stop trying to make them what they aren't and will never be. It's an exercise in futility and it hurt

No more pig singing lessons.

You're not Crazy

2011-10-13T04:42:00.000-07:00

Go to Gapingvoid.com for other cool stuff like this cartoon.

I was reminded again yesterday how hard it can be at times to stand alone as the lone voice for change in a sea of people who would rather preserve the status quo. As I shared lunch with one of my former colleagues who is a brilliant young HR star, it hurt me to hear her talk about the dysfunction she can see within her organization and how she feels like she's the only one who either cares or has the courage to talk about it. She's becoming more jaded and cynical by the day. And, she's beginning to question herself. After all, when you are the only one who seems to see the dysfunction, maybe you are the problem, not the things you see, right?

Wrong.

If you are passionate about your job and your care deeply about helping your organization succeed, you are going to recognize ways your company should change for the better. You will see the things that should be fixed. You will want to take action. And, you are likely to be alone in your quest, at least early on.

Sadly,too many people around you have either lost hope of change or have decided that maintaining the status quo is the best way to survive and get ahead. Others are a product of the current way of doing things, so driving change would actually be an act against their self-interest. So, you are likely to feel like you are all alone as the person who sees the need for change. After a while, you might even start wondering if you are the crazy one.

You aren't crazy.

Being a change agent is hard. Speaking the truth is hard. Being the outlier is hard.

Do it anyway.

In my experience, the key to being a change agent and sustaining your passion for progress is having that one trusted person in your life who will say these key words to you when you most need it:

"Your not crazy. It's them, not you. Keep up the fight."

Experimentation and Discovery: How Science Can Help you Transform HR

2011-10-12T04:17:00.000-07:00

The Society for Human Resources Management (SHRM) launched a new website earlier this year called We Know Next. They describe the site as the leading resource for business executives, policymakers and human resource leaders to explore and discuss the latest workforce and workplace trends—providing the in-depth research and insights needed to adapt and take advantage of what’s next. It's a worthy endeavor on SHRM's part and I"m happy to support it. I am fortunate to have the opportunity to contribute a monthly blog post to this site. The following post is my first contribution and was posted yesterday. You can find the original posting here.

Experimentation and Discovery: How Science Can Help you Transform HR

For being a profession with heavy detail and conformity requirements, I’ve always wondered why we aren’t better at using the rigor of science within our work in Human Resources. It would seem to me that the structure and process of the scientific method would appeal to us since we spend much of our time working with structure and process all day long.

And yet, when we look at how we approach our work in HR, there’s not as much science involved as there should be. Science, afterall, is really the practice of studying the nature and behavior of the universe and trying to organize that into a system of explanations that helps make sense of it all. I would argue that HR is really the practical application of science of the workplace.

Because my undergraduate degree is in Biology, maybe I am biased to view my work a little differently than others. I was trained in college in the process of scientific discovery, which is informed by the scientific method. This is the same scientific method that we all learned about in our grade school years but have probably long since forgotten. Here is a refresher of how that process works.

The Steps of the Scientific Process:

Observation. Science starts with observation. This requires the scientist to have a curious mind and an insatiable appetite for discovery and learning. A great scientist is constantly observing their environments and recording these observations. Often these observations are focused on a particular area of interest, but can also be very broad. These observations, over time, provide the foundation for their experiments.
Hypothesis. Based on their observations, the scientist will then create a hypothesis. A hypothesis is the scientist’s assumed explanation of what he has observed. Newton hypothesized about the force we now call gravity based on his observations of objects falling to the ground. The hypothesis really is a best guess as to why something is happening.
Prediction. Once a hypothesis is formed, the scientist will make one or more predictions based on that hypothesis. These predictions are the answer to the question: “If my hypothesis is true, what would I expect to happen if X scenario occurred?” One hypothesis will generally yield several predictions.
Experimentation. The scientist now conducts tests (experiments) to see if these predictions are accurate. If the first tests reveal that the predictions were accurate, generally several more rounds of testing are conducted to gain confidence in the results. If the subsequent testing reveal the same results, then the scientist may declare that their hypothesis was true (in science, they call it a Theory). If any of the testing reveals the predictions are false, then the scientist will take those results and consider them with their initial observation and formulate a new hypothesis, essentially starting the process again from the beginning.

Do you remember memorizing these steps in grade school? It’s a great process because it’s really a reflection of how we learn as humans. And, it’s a terrific framework for how to improve your systems and processes within HR and elsewhere. Let’s look at how this might play out.

Here’s the scenario. There’s a lot of discussion within your organization about social media. There are a lot of opinions about how the organization should approach it, but no one seems to have the answer. They look to you to make a recommendation. You decided to take a scientific approach to determining the solution.

Here’s how you might approach it using the scientific method.

Observation. You start exploring social media technology to become very familiar with how and why it works. You pay close attention to how people are using it. Every time you have an interaction with an employee in your day to day work, you ask them what sites they use and what their thoughts are on social media, specifically at work. You also do some searching online to see how your employees are using these sites and which sites they are using. In addition, you probe the company leadership about their perspectives and opinions on social media. Finally, you seek out examples form your company and competitors where employees are using social media in their work. You gather a lot of information.
Hypothesis. Based on all of your observation, you formulate this hypothesis:Your organization would gain significant benefit from allowing employees open access to social media at work given the proper guidelines and training.
Prediction: Based on your hypothesis, you formulate a couple predictions.
a. If we give employees open access to social media and provide them with guidelines for appropriate use, there would be no productivity loss and minimal issues with inappropriate use by employees.
b. If we give employees open access to social media and provide them with training on how to use it to create value in their job, the performance of the organization will increase in a measureable way.
Experimentation. You then implement your plan with a department who is interested in helping you test your hypothesis (an early adopter). Before you begin the test, you establish the timeframe of the test and specific targets for how you will measure success (in this case, productivity levels and incidents of inappropriate activity by employees on social media sites). At the end of your test, you compare your results to your predictions. If you have favorable results, you either do another test in another department or you present your findings to the organization’s decision makers and recommend rolling the test out more broadly. If the test results weren’t positive, then you collect your observations of what happened and formulate a new hypothesis to test.

This may seem really obvious or simple on the surface, but my experience has been that we simply don’t apply this kind of rigor to our work in HR (at least not in most cases). All too often, we race to implement a solution without having any type of hypothesis or predictions against which to compare results. When you skip these steps, it’s really difficult to articulate if your solution worked or if it flopped. As a result, our credibility within our organizations has suffered. All of the greatest scientific breakthroughs in history have been a result of following this simple process. Why not use it to create some significant breakthroughs in HR?

Human Resources is a complex and dynamic body of work. People and conditions are constantly changing. In order to bring some order to this chaos, try bringing a little more science to your approach.

Putting Your Job on the Line - Video Blog #2

2011-10-11T04:04:00.000-07:00

Do you love your work enough to put your job on the line to do it the right way? Here, I react to some comments made by Bill Conaty, former Sr. VP HR at GE and author of The Talent Masters, in a keynote presentation he made last week at SHRM Strategy.

This is the second installment of my video blogging journey. Thanks for the feedback last time, I hope this one is improved. For those of you who get my blog by email, you may have to click the title to go to my site to see the video.

Got Community?

2011-10-10T04:10:00.000-07:00

Last week, I had the opportunity to be part of two very different events. First on the agenda was HRevolution in Las Vegas. Then, I was off to Chicago to present a session at the annual SHRM Strategy Conference. Both events were very good in their own ways--and very different.

HRevolution is a gathering of HR pros who are trying to push the envelope and stretch their thinking about HR and the future of work. Many of the attendees blog and most all of them are well connected via social media. The mix of people at this conference spans from HR practitioners to HR technology vendors to consultants. There's a lot of passion at HRevolution about how to do things differently to move the needle. This gathering feels sort of organic and informal. There's a palpable energy of anticipation that exists in room.

SHRM Strategy, on the other hand, is a more traditional and formal conference. There were probably 500 HR leaders gathered together from across the country to talk about how to design and execute more strategic HR to drive organizational results. The tone of this conference was much more serious. It was clear that most of the people there were searching for meaningful and practical information that they could put into use when they return to the office this week. While this conference was less playful than HRevolution, it made up for it with intensity and focus.

So, two very different conferences with one big thing in common. The thing that I felt at both conferences was something that we increasingly overlook as our worlds become more and more digital--community. In both cases, it felt like I was among my people. You could feel a sense of belonging and acceptance in the room at both events, particularly in Chicago.

Community is a powerful thing. Being among people who understand your language and can relate to your struggles is fulfilling. Members of your community can help you in ways that others, even those who love you the most, cannot because they understand what it means to walk in your shoes. Leaders need to cultivate community for themselves and for those who follow them. The community can provide us stability and support.

Community is critical. Conferences, and particularly those like SHRM Strategy and HRevolution who have focused attendee criteria, are a tremendous way to experience, build and grow community. The thing about community though is that it requires your participation. It requires that you get out and be a part of it. Too often, I talk to HR and other leaders who don't attend conferences, don't use social networks, and generally don't put any energy into connecting beyond the people they are required know to do their jobs. They have decided to forgo the community, thinking that they lack the time for it. Unfortunately, that means they sacrifice the support, growth, resources, and insight that lives within the community that could help them do their job better. They miss out on the relationships with people who, on the days when the burden of the job is heavy, could say that they've been there and share with some experience on how to survive it.

My advice is to make time to be with and grow your community. Go to a conference once or twice a year and actively connect with others there. Build your social networks and find groups to join and connect with where they discuss what you are most passionate about. Get involved in your local professional organizations and networking groups. You will be thankful that you did.

I know that I feel more inspired, connected and motivated today as a result of spending time with my communities last week.

Moving the Needle

2011-10-03T07:14:00.000-07:00

This weekend, I had the opportunity to be a part of the fourth iteration of a great event called HRevolution. I've now been to three of the four HRevolution events and it is always an energizing, rewarding and thought provoking experience. If you work in HR or sell to HR, this is a great event to be a part of.

One of the themes that came up a couple of times during the discussions at the event yesterday was that a big thing holding HR back from significantly moving the needle within their organizations and making more substantial change is that we are always in search of the perfect solution. When we design a program or need to implement new software functionality, we tend to want a solution that delivers everything we want and need in one package. Because of this desire for the perfect solution, we set ourselves up for failure. When we don't get the funding or support or buy-in we need on our perfect, all or nothing solution, we are back to the starting line.

It was commonly suggested that we could make greater progress in HR by looking for smaller and more iterative ways of driving change that don't require extra budget or any permission from anyone else to make them happen. Here a few thoughts about how to do that.

Maximize your current systems and tools. There were comments yesterday about how frequent it is that organizations implement a software solution, but only use a fraction of it's capabilities. It's likely that some of the tools you already have can do things you would really value. It's a matter of being curious about capabilities and engaging your vendors in a conversation.
Find out what you are doing that makes the most major impact and leverage that success to drive change. Think about the things you already do well (training, benefits enrollment, recruiting) and think about how you could make small tweaks to those processes to make progress on key issues.
Work with the willing. We all have have managers and leaders within our organizations who are willing to try new things. Engage them to create small projects to test out ideas and concepts that might be challenging to sell on a broad scale without evidence that it works. We all have those partners within our organizations who trust us and are willing to be your guinea pig. Take advantage of those situations to try out new solutions and ideas on a small scale. Then, once you've made it work in this way and have evidence that your solution delivers results, you can tell the story to the rest of the organization.

Becoming Less Lame (I hope) - Video Blog Post #1

2011-09-30T07:38:00.000-07:00

Lately, I've have a lot of signals telling me that I need to figure out how to use video in my work. First, it was a session by Johnny Campbell and his Social Talent team at #TruLondon talking about creating viral videos. I'm not sure I will ever create a viral video, but the message was clear--video is huge and very important in the emerging new media landscape.

I've not done much in video yet because I'm not very good at it. But, then a recent Seth Godin blog post reminded me that the only way to get good at something is to do it, a lot. So, I'm throwing my hat into the world of video. My video blogs will be less than 90 seconds in length as I know you don't have all day.

Here we go. I welcome any comments or feedback, good or bad. It will help me learn to suck less at this.

Reebok Gets Smacked, But Who is Really at Fault?

2011-09-29T04:32:00.000-07:00

Last night, as I was watching Diane Sawyer give me the news, I saw a story that really struck me. Yesterday, shoemaker Reebok agreed to pay a $25 million settlement to the FTC for a claim that they practiced false advertising related to their "tone up" shoe line. You've seen the advertisements. These are the shoes (there's also a similar line by Sketchers and others) that claims to tone your legs and butt by simply walking in them. Apparently, if you buy these magical shoes, they will make your legs and butt look like a Kardashian simply by wearing them around. The FTC didn't buy it.

According to the Reuter's article, here's how David Vladeck from the FTC summed it up:

"We did get consumer complaints. We watch TV. We read the newspapers," said Vladeck. "There is no such thing as a no-work, no-sweat way to a fit and healthy body."

So, Reebok got whacked yesterday. It sounds like Sketchers is probably not too far behind in line to get a little smack down itself.

At first, this bit of news delighted me. We live in an era of spin where it seems that authenticity and honesty and truth are rare, so it felt good to me to see the feds come after Reebok for, what seems to me, like an obvious and blatant false advertising campaign. Not only that, but one that preys on the the insecurities of women. My initial thought was "Good for you, FTC. It's nice to see the government doing something positive."

But, then I started thinking more about it. According to the ABC News stories, there were $1.1 billion of this type of "workout without the workout" shoes sold in 2010 alone, of which Reebok sold $340 million. How is it that so many people are buying these shoes? Shouldn't a reasonable person see an advertisement like this and be able to make a determination that they are being sold a line of BS? I remember when I first saw an ad for these shoes. I chuckled because I didn't think anyone would actually buy them. I was wrong. Apparently, a lot of people took the bait. This begs the question, how severely should the shoe company be punished if we are silly enough to buy a shoe who's value proposition is so clearly ridiculous?

For what it's worth, I think where Reebok got in trouble was that they made claims that involved percentages and numbers to make it sounds like they had real scientific evidence of the shoe's magic abilities. But, even so, our bullsh*t detectors should go off any time we hear something that resembles this statement: "Get amazing results that you will value without any work on your part."

This to me as just another reminder of something that successful people learn early in their lives, there are no shortcuts. There is only hard work and preparation. When you work hard and prepare yourself to succeed, you will find opportunities to capitalize upon. Unless you are born to rich parents, there is no quick way to get rich. And unless you were blessed with really great genes with super fast metabolism, there is no quick way to get in great shape. And, generally in business, there simply is no quick path up the ladder. Getting rich, getting in shape and getting ahead all require hard work. Anyone who tells you differently is deceiving you (and probably trying to take your money).

#TruLondon Summary

2011-09-28T04:05:00.000-07:00

Quick post today to share something with you that you might be interested in if you are in the recruiting or HR space. As you may remember, I participated in the TruLondon4 recruiting unconference earlier this month as a track leader.

The fine folks at Jobsite, who sponsored the event, have produced a really cool and quick read summary document of the event for download. If you are interested, you can find it here.

Otherwise, back to regular programming tomorrow. Have a great day.

When a Hired Gun is the Right Answer

2011-09-27T04:17:00.000-07:00

Through much of my corporate HR life, I made it my goal to minimize the use of external recruiters when possible. I had decided that when I had to engage outside recruiting services, it was a signal that I was failing to deliver on what was expected from my recruiting team and me.

The thing is, I'm not sure that the rest of the organization viewed it as a failure on my team when we had to use outside help. The rest of the organization just wanted to get positions filled with the best possible candidates and they trusted me to make the right call on how to make that happen. If I told them we needed to use an external recruiter, they usually trusted my judgement.

I think all too often, as managers and professionals, we adopt a mindset that getting external help is an admission of weakness or failure. We try to avoid hiring consultants and advisors at times when we really need them to best do our jobs. We rationalize that we are saving money, being responsible and doing what we were hired to do. And those things may all be true, but if you don't deliver the results your organization expects of you, no one is going to pat you on the back for saving a few bucks or "doing your best." There are times when getting external support from a consultant, recruiter or other source is the right thing to do.

When you should consider a hired gun:

When you don't have the expertise in your team to deliver exceptional results. As an example, if you need to do some work on branding for your organization, unless you have someone who has done brand development for a living in the past, hire some with that expertise to help you. In almost every case, if you are trying to accomplish a task where you lack expertise, it will take you at least twice as long to produce a product that is at best half as good. If the outcome of the project is important, go find some help.
When your time is stretched so thin that taking on another project will crush your (or your team's) ability to deliver on what's already in front of you. Sometimes, even when you have the ability to complete a project, it's wise to hire someone else to do it so that you can maintain focus on the work that's already in front of you.
When the project requires some conflict that might be politically dangerous. One powerful way to use external partners is facilitate processes that might be painful or politically charged. A consultant will often get praised for saying or doing something that might have gotten you in trouble had you said or done the same thing When you need to shake things up or tip over the apple cart, it's far better to let someone from the outside be the instigator so that you can play the role of the hero who puts things back together on the other end.
When you need to lead a group through a discovery process that might slaughter sacred cows along the path. This is why many companies use external facilitators to lead strategic planning or succession planning processes. These are high stakes ventures that, when done right, require leaders to take a hard look at everything in the company. This usually leads to some insights which suggest that hard decisions must be made. It might be that a core product has run it's course. Or, a beloved senior executive needs to move on. These are tough conversations that can become very personal for some leaders. A skilled external facilitator will ask questions and push buttons that an internal person might be very uncomfortable with.

Hiring help shouldn't be an admission of weakness, incompetence or failure. Done right, it's how skillful leaders move the needle on important initiatives. Inserting the right help at the right moment can make all the difference to delivering exceptional results.

#Quotes for Inspiration

2011-09-23T03:54:00.000-07:00

Happy Friday! As we wrap the week and look forward to the weekend, I hope these quotes provide you with a spark of insight or inspiration.

Makeno small plans for they have no power to stir the soul. – Niccolo Machiavelli

Victorybelongs to the most persevering. – Napoleon Bonaparte Thereare many ways of going forward, but only one way of standing still. – Franklin D. Roosevelt

Theway to gain a good reputation is to endeavor to be what you desire to appear. –Socrates

Ifyou want to be respected, you must respect yourself. – Spanish Proverb

Therecan be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the thingswe do. – Freya Stark

Perfectionis not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence. – VinceLombardi

Don'tbe too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. Themore experiments you make the better. – Ralph Waldo Emerson Itis in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped. – Anthony Robbins, Greatthings are accomplished by talented people who believe they will accomplishthem. – Warren Bennis

Three Powerful Words

2011-09-22T05:04:00.000-07:00

"It's on me."

That's what a leader says when things go wrong.

Earlier this week, the Boston Red Sox lost an important game. They had been in a position to win when they brought in their ace closing pitcher, Jonathan Papelbon to pitch the last 5 outs of the game. Papelbon generally closes out the last 3 outs of the game and he had successfully saved the game in 30 or his last 31 chances. But, this time was different. Things didn't go well for Papelbon and the Red Sox lost the game.

After the game, here's what Papelbon said about the game:

“Unacceptable,” Papelbon said. “The way I’ve been throwing the ball, I’ve got to go out there and execute. I didn’t do that, and by me not going out there and executing 0-2 pitches, I let my team down. I’ll shoulder that and take full responsibility, and I’ll be ready to go tomorrow. It’s plain and simple.”

Those are the words of a leader. Certainly, Papelbon's performance had a major impact on the outcome of the game, but he wasn't the only reason they lost. Had the team scored more runs, they would have won. Had the Rex Sox played a little better defense overall, they would have won. But, Papelbon didn't point at any of that. He pointed to himself and said, "It's on me." He took more than his share of the blame for this loss which is what leaders do. He took the blame for the loss so the team could move on. And it makes me respect him as a leader, and I'm guessing his teammates feel the same way.

Next time things go wrong, instead of looking around for who's to blame, try these three words.

"It's on me."

Archive Redux: Performance Appraisals Must Die

2011-09-21T04:12:00.000-07:00

This is one of my favorite short posts that I've written. I originally published it earlier this year as my corp HR team was working on solving the performance appraisal problem within our organization. I love talking about performance appraisals because of the angst that it creates for people. I'm perplexed why it seems so hard for organizations for to do the right thing and walk away from this craziness.

I'm hoping that more people will step forward to share an alternative, to reveal how they've found a better way. Because, make no mistake, there is a better way to manage and drive performance. And it doesn't have anything to do with an appraisal.

Performance Appraisals must Die
Originally posted 3/9/11

As every other HR department has done before and will likely do again, my team is working on answering the question, "What should we do about our performance appraisals?" So, I've been thinking a lot about the topic lately. That means I've had my radar up for information and solutions about performance management. It seems to me that the performance appraisal is a perfect example of how Paul Hebert explains that HR is caught in the monkey trap. Letting go would set us free, but we just can't seem to do it. I think that's a mistake and here's why.

This is what I have found to be almost universally true when you talk to people about performance appraisals.

Managers hate writing them. Even the best managers hate them, regardless of the form you use. Too much work for what they get out of it.
Employee hate receiving them. Regardless of how great of a manager you have, the process of the once a year sit down is riddled with anxiety and angst.
HR hates administering them. It's an enormous black hole of time and energy, and no one loves you for doing it.
There is no evidence that traditional performance appraisals have any impact on performance, good or bad. At least I've not found anyone who has any data either way.
Despite what some HR folks may argue, having annual performance appraisals usually makes it HARDER to terminate a low performer because most managers generally resist addressing performance issues within the appraisal itself.

If these five things are true, it would seem that the solution would be to stop the insanity and pull the plug on performance appraisals. Here's what should happen if you do. Managers and employees both love you more. Your HR team gets back some time that can be invested in work that matters. Organizational performance won't change and you'll be better able to swiftly address employee performance issues. Where's the down side?

Who You Know Matters - Another Lesson from the Firing of Carol Bartz

2011-09-20T05:16:00.000-07:00

I have, like many people, been watching with great interest the unfolding story of the firing of Carol Bartz, the recently former CEO of Yahoo. It's been a really interesting story to follow because both sides have handled the situation pretty poorly, making for some great stories to read.

Yesterday, I stumbled across this post on the continuing saga. As I read through it, one particular quote jumped out at me regarding how Ms. Bartz had been seemingly blindsided by this firing.

“She did not know it was happening, even if she probably should have seen it coming,” said one person familiar with the situation. “And she had no allies at the company to warn her, either.”

She had no allies. Granted, she was new to the company having only been there about 2 1/2 years, but "no allies" to warn her that she was standing on the railroad tracks and a train was coming? At that level, it seems odd to me that she had not one strong ally who would have given her a heads up.

It makes me wonder about her leadership style. It also makes me wonder about Yahoo's internal leadership culture. Was she trying to build key relationships, but others weren't really interested in engaging with her? Or, was her leadership style one that drove people away? Perhaps some of both.

Either way, this can serve as a powerful reminder to cultivate strong relationships within your organizations. Allies and alliances are important, in good times and bad. Ask yourself this question, if you were about to be blindsided at work, do you have an ally at work who would give you a warning? Perhaps more importantly, who are you being an ally to? These alliances can make a huge difference to both your performance and your enjoyment of your work.

Relationships are important. Just ask Carol Bartz.

The Wanting versus Doing Disconnect

2011-09-19T04:31:00.000-07:00

One of my blind spots as a manager is that I project my ambitions and work ethic on others. I work pretty hard--not sure if it's genetics or growing up on a farm that caused it. And I have always been motivated to succeed quickly. As a result, I have always jumped at any opportunity to learn and grow. If a company offered up a book club, I was there. If they gave me a chance to go to a seminar or training, I was on it. I felt like these opportunities were my chance to propel myself ahead and I didn't want to miss a single one of them.

But, throughout my management career, I've managed far fewer people who felt this same way than those who would happily skip a training session so they don't get behind on a day of work. This made me crazy. I felt like I was failing as a manager when my teams wouldn't get as excited about reading a book together as I did. I just didn't understand how someone could pass up an opportunity to learn and propel their career ahead.

Now, I know that projecting my ambitions on to others isn't a healthy way to manage. I don't do it on purpose. I also know that not everyone is a careerist who is trying to climb the ladder as quickly as possible. But, despite knowing this, I still struggled with this issue. And then, one day, I finally realized why this bothered me so much.

The issue wasn't really that these people wasn't interested in development opportunities. If they don't want to learn, that's their choice. The problem was that they weren't understanding and embracing the consequences of that choice. In many cases, their intentions for their career--what they wanted out of their work--wasn't aligned with what they were doing to move themselves along.

In career discovery conversations with individuals, I'd hear about how they wanted to move up into bigger jobs with bigger salaries and more responsibilities. They were focused on getting more, but the disconnect was that they weren't willing to do more. What they wanted was out of alignment with what they were willing to do to get it. This is where my frustration really came from.

Want ≠ Do

The learning moment for me was that I needed to do a far better job of being transparent with those who I managed about how they would get ahead in my team. They had to learn, to grow, and to prove through their actions that they were ready for more. It's on the leader to lay out what it takes to get ahead, what that investment of time and energy looks like, so that when someone does want to climb that ladder, they know the path (and the consequences of not choosing that path).

I also had to learned that so long as I was making this clear to my people, I needed to quit worrying about those who weren't taking advantage of the learning opportunities in front of them. The accountability for their career was now squarely on their shoulders. I would provide opportunities but it was up to them to capitalize on them.

This is also a good reminder for us as individuals. We need to be in a regular conversation with ourselves about our intentions versus our actions. Are you doing what is required to get where you want to go? Do you know what is required to make it happen? Results follow from our actions and we will never get the results we desire without putting the right time and investment into getting them.

Let's make it happen.

Awesome Free Stuff for HR: Attend The Recruiting Conference in Chicago as my Guest

2011-09-13T20:19:00.000-07:00

If there's one thing I know about corporate HR and recruiting, it's that money for conferences can be hard to come by. Conferences can be such a great way to get energized, learn about what's happening in the industry and meet some great peers from around the country. I hated the task as a manager every year of determining who got to attend what conferences (if any) and who didn't. I always felt like I was depriving someone of a great development experience by not allowing them to go to a conference. And to make matters worse, I know the past couple of years have been tough ones and many of you may not have had any money left over to attend even a single conference.

That's why I'm excited to be able to make this offer to you as a reader of my blog.

On November 1-2, OnRec is hosting The Recruiting Conference in Chicago. It looks to be a very interesting line up of topics and speakers including some industry vets like John Sumser and Gerry Crispin along with some great practitioners who will be speaking about what's working in their business.

As a happy byproduct of being a speaker at this conference, I have been given the opportunity to bring someone as my guest to the show. I have one Gold Pass to give away which gets you into the two day main conference on Nov 1-2. That's a value of $995--for free! Just because you either read my blog, happened to stumble upon this post by way of Twitter or LinkedIn, or someone who thinks you rock sent you a link to this post. Either way, a free conference is a great conference. You will have to get yourself there and feed yourself, but that's generally the easy part of a conference expense to justify.

So, if you would like to attend this conference as my guest, please email me your name, title, company, and contact info by next Monday, September 19. I will randomly select a name from those who email me and you will be the lucky winner of this free conference pass. Whether or not you want to see, talk to or hang out with me at the conference is completely optional and entirely up to you. That being said, I would be delighted to spend some time with you if you are interested.

So, there you have it. A shot at a free recruiting conference. All you have to do is make sure you could attend and send me an email. I'll do the rest. Winner will be selected and notified on September 20.

Good luck.

Going All In

2011-09-13T04:49:00.000-07:00

We spend too much time hedging our bets, playing it safe, having a back up plan. When we have a decision in our life that's really important, it seems wise to leave an escape plan, "in case things don't work out."

Planning is important. Commitment is the game changer.

What would happen if you didn't have a back up plan? How would your behavior change if there was no back up plan--if failure really wasn't an option?

Never underestimate the power of true commitment. True commitment is when you take out the predetermined excuses and bail out plans.

Commitment gets it done.

It's Just a Game

2011-09-12T04:30:00.000-07:00

As I watched the first Sunday of NFL football yesterday, I started thinking about the fact that these grown men actually play a game for a living. They study the game, practice the game, prepare to perform in the game, and condition to perform well in the game. In addition, they study their opponents to get a deep understanding of how they play the game in hopes of uncovering some insights that will provide an advantage.

This makes me wonder why people some times get offended when I talk about viewing the workplace like a game. Here's how dictionary.com defines the word "game":

Game - noun - a competitive activity involving skill, chance, or enduranceon the part of two or more persons who play according to aset of rules, usually for their own amusement or for that of spectators.

If you have any interest in advancement, recognition or increased compensation and you think that work isn't a competitive activity with spectators, you are kidding yourself. The people above you are watching you perform on the field next to your peers every day. While we talk often about the utopia where every employee puts the interests of the company or the greater good before their own, the reality is that we work to provide our self (and our families) with a quality of life. And, most people want more than they are getting from the company at any given moment (regardless of whether they are willing to do more to get it). In order to get more in most companies, you have to outperform or maneuver the person next to you in a way that gets the attention of the "management." That sounds like a game to me.

In addition, there are certainly rules to this game. As a member of the HR community, I can attest to rules because we create most of them. Rules for how and when you can get promoted. Rules for how performance should be measured. Rules for what differentiates a good employee from a bad one. These are all written rules. Then there's the unwritten rules of culture, history, and status quo. All of these provide walls within which you must play this game as you work to get ahead.

So, work really is and should be viewed as a game. A serious one, but a game none the less. If you approached your "game" in the same way and with the same rigor as professional athletes do, I suspect you'd find yourself getting promoted in a hurry.

The other upside of taking a "game" mindset to work is that most games are truly for your enjoyment or amusement. I love it when pro athletes get interviewed and talk about how blessed they are to "get to play a game I love for a living." This is what we should aspire to. Find a game (i.e. job) you love to play and then play it with reckless abandon. Study, practice, prepare and condition to be the very best at your game. The rewards will be great if you do.

Playing a game you love and getting paid to do it is a blessing. I wish that blessing on everyone.

Disarming the Corporate Bully

2011-09-09T04:34:00.000-07:00

My Dad has taught me a lot of important stuff throughout my life: never let anyone compromise your integrity, better to be lucky than good most days, working hard will set you apart, etc. But, yesterday over a coffee with a friend, I was reminded of one of the most important lessons he taught me.

Like most kids, I was a teen age "know it all" who thought I was smarter than the rest of the world (some would probably argue that I never grew out of this, but I digress). My Dad, to entertain himself mainly, took great pleasure in pushing my buttons in this regard. When I would start running my mouth about some particular topic, espousing my vast insight on the issue, he would always take the opposite side of the issue and start provoking me. At that age, not only was I an annoying know it all, but I was also a bit of a hot head. I would get really worked up, to the point of being angry in these discussions. The more fired up I got, the more my Dad seemed to enjoy the conversation. He was teaching. And, I never won an argument.

Dad was tweaking me. He was pushing my buttons, and I responded every time. And when I responded, I lost my cool and with it, my ability to have a civilized conversation. In these moments, I stopped listening and stopped learning. And, I used to get really angry with him for doing this to me.

Of course, I eventually realized that he wasn't doing anything to me, he was just making a couple of comments in the context of a conversation about some topic or another. I was choosing to react to his comments as hostile and in doing so, I completely lost my head. Once that happened, I had no ability to engage in a real conversation and any opportunity I had to influence was lost.

The main lesson I took from all of this was:

Most times, you take away a bully's power by choosing not to engage.

If you don't fight back or freak out, you aren't any fun to bully. This doesn't mean that you become a push over, but it means that you can't let others dictate your emotions and responses to situations.

Within organizations, I have seen this kind of aggression used to gain politic power and to distract attention from what really matters. If I am a manager or VP over a division that's not performing extremely well, a tactic I can use to keep the heat off of me is to pick on another area (HR anyone?). If I start pointing fingers and accusing others of being responsible for failing to support me appropriately and they respond, the attention within the organization is now drawn to either the conflict or the other department's response. Either way, the eyeballs are off of me and my lousy performance. It happens all the time. And, we usually take the bait.

Don't get caught in this trap. It's tempting to feel like you need to defend yourself and fight back every time something like this happens. However, if you are taking care of business and performing in your own right, then the best response to an act of aggression is often a non-response. Be polite, be friendly, and add no fuel to the fire. A vast majority of the time, the bully will simply go away. They have now power without you giving it to them.

And, the happy by-product of this approach is that your level of day to day aggravation will decrease dramatically. We give energy to much of the turmoil around us. When we stop feeding it, most of it goes away. Less aggravation leads to a lot more fun at work.

Thanks Dad.

The Danger in Adding Too Much Value

2011-09-08T04:07:00.000-07:00

Some lessons are hard ones to put into actual practice. I have a project that I've been working on the past several months. One part of this project has been giving me fits. The harder I worked at the problem and the more creative I tried to be, the farther away from a solution I got. I kept trying to find a new and creative way to attack this issue, to add some new value. But, nothing was working.

But, finally I stopped. I went clear back to the beginning and started over. I asked a few more questions. I listened. And what I found was that the solution was simple. Painfully simple. I think that I so wanted to show off my creative abilities that I was taking a straight forward problem and making it complex. I was trying to add value where it really wasn't needed.

I think this happens a lot in our work. We attack a problem or situation with a flurry of ideas and approaches when something far more simple is called for. To justify our existence (and our salary) we have a compulsion to spring to action, to roll up our sleeves and do some work. The irony is that often times, the best thing we could do is the simplest, even the easiest. Sometimes, the best way to add value is to do nothing.

To check yourself before you run off to create a bunch of work, start by asking these questions:

What is the ideal outcome (or What do you want to see happen?)
What is the simplest way to make that happen?
Is there any risk with following this simplest solution?

In human resources, the place where we try add too much value every day is employee relations. Employees and managers come to us with basic problems every day. Because we want to prove our value, we take on these problems and launch interventions and investigations. This makes us look and feel busy. But, a majority of employee relations issues stem from a communication gap between two people. If we asked the three questions above, we wouldn't launch into intervention mode. Rather, we'd coach the person in front of us to go have a conversation with the other person with whom they have a issue before we would take any action. It's amazing how many issues get resolved this way.

So, the real question is this: do you want to be busy or get results? I sure wish I had paused to ask these questions at the beginning of my project because I can't get my time back. But, I suppose it's better late than never. Don't make the same mistake I did. Find the simple path and follow it.

Talk is Cheap (and I only care about your actions)

2011-09-07T04:29:00.000-07:00

I think one of the most powerful things we can do as leaders is to help people understand the disconnect between their intentions and their actions. People will often talk a good game about what they will do or what they intend to do, but it's much harder to do it--particularly when there is risk of failure involved. Talk is cheap and we have that in abundance. It's much harder to actually do the hard things that might scare us.

Sometimes, it is important that you be the bucket of cold water that is thrown in someone's face. My best mentors throughout my career have been those who would tell me the unvarnished truth about where my words didn't match my actions. It never feels good to hear these truths, but they have always made me better and propelled me forward. Sadly, it has become less and less common for people to tell each other the truth. This doesn't mean that we should be cruel, but rather be courageous enough to help someone else see that they are creating their own frustration by not doing what needs to be done in order to live up to their own intentions.

#Quotes for Labor Day

2011-09-05T04:51:00.000-07:00

As we enjoy a day off to celebrate the spirit of the American worker, I thought I'd share a few quotes to inspire us as we return to work tomorrow.

There's no scarcity of opportunity to make a living at what you love. There is only a scarcity of resolve to make it happen.
-Wayne Dyer

The nearest way to glory is to strive to be what you wish to be thought to be.
-Socrates

The successful warrior is the average man, with laser-like focus.
-Bruce Lee

Everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.
-Robert Louis

In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.
-Thomas Jefferson

Have a great holiday!

Are We Really in the Talent Acquisition Business? #TruLondon

2011-08-30T15:13:00.000-07:00

I am so excited to be joining Bill Boorman and the fine folks at Jobsite in London this week for the TruLondon4 Unconference. I love the unconference format and am flattered and privileged that they have invited me to join them as a guest track leader. I look forward to sharing a post or two about the experience when I return next week. Below I am sharing the second guest post I wrote for Jobsite to outline one of the topics I plan to discuss this week with the fine folks at TruLondon4.

Are We Really in the Talent Acquisition Business?

I’m not sure exactly when this happened, but at some point in the last decade it became the trend to replace the functional description “Recruiting” with “Talent Acquisition”. Don’t get me wrong, Talent Acquisition sounds cool and progressive. It was in keeping with the other trends around HR to focus on Talent. However, I don’t think the two mean the same thing. And, frankly, I think we still practice a whole lot more recruiting than we do talent acquisition. Hear me out.

When you do a quick Google search for a definition of the word “recruit,” here’s some of what you’ll find (these courtesy of www.thefreedictionary.com):

To supply with new members or employees
To replenish
To obtain replacements for something lost, wasted or needed

At the most basic, recruiting in our work is about finding new employees or replacing ones that left. The qualities or characteristics of those new employees aren’t really a function of the definition but rather a consideration of the quality of the process used to recruit. Sure, we want to recruit the best people we can, but in most cases, we are paid to fill open positions with people the hiring manager deems suitable to hire.

When we decide we want to fly the Talent Acquisition flag, it implies something much bigger than just recruiting. Technically, recruiting and acquisition are probably similar, but now we’ve added this notion that our job is really about talent. But what does that mean?

In February 2010, I wrote a blog post for the Human Capital Institute called, “What is Talent?” where I considered this important question and how potentially complicated it can be. We like to throw around the word “talent” a lot in our work, but from my experience, most of us aren’t completely clear on what it means.

If you are in the talent trade, how are you defining talent? Is it about potential? Is it situational? Is it about experience or current ability? Is it about cultural fit? And you can’t say, “Yeah, all of that stuff” because in order for the definition to be meaningful, you must be able to recognize talent and measure it. After all, we are in the talent acquisition business. How can you know if you are acquiring talent if you can’t measure it?

So, what’s the answer? I don’t think there is a single definition of talent—at least none that I can find. My advice to you, if you call yourself a talent acquisition professional, you had better know how you define and measure talent in your business or organization. If you can’t or won’t do that, then be honest about it and get back to recruiting. That doesn’t mean that you don’t want to do quality work or that you don’t work with talent, it just means that you understand that your role is about finding and replacing employees—the kind that our hiring managers will hire.

When we do recruiting and call it Talent Acquisition, we are diluting the idea of talent. If you are in Talent, then recognize that it’s bigger and more demanding that just recruiting. And hold yourself and others to that higher standard.

Are you Asking this Question of your Employees?

2011-08-29T04:22:00.000-07:00

Last week, I had the opportunity to have lunch with a young woman who used to work on one of my HR teams several years ago. It was great to sit down to catch up and share stories about our time working together.

As you would expect, our conversation centered around our current jobs and how things were going for each of us today. Thankfully, we both seem to be happy with our current situations which made for fun lunch time talk. As she shared some details with me about her role and her company, some things really stood out to me about why she loves what she's doing today.

This is what she said:

People are friendly and they want to get to know you. They make time to connect.
They let me do what I do best.
I have the opportunity to impact what we do and how we do it.

She propped these things up as really refreshing things about her current role. She also felt that this was rare. These things read like questions off of an employee engagement survey, so clearly her employer and/or manager is doing some right. But, there was one thing that she mentioned three times during our lunch so I took it to be the most significant. She shared with me that her management asks her a particular question frequently that really matters to her job satisfaction. Here it is:

"Are you enjoying your job? Do you like what you are doing?"

And she believes that they really want to know the answer. She knows that it is her responsibility to tell the truth then they ask her this question, but she hasn't had any real complaints to this point. I'm guessing by the fact that they regularly ask this question that this company probably behaves in a way that helps employees find their way to work that they enjoy, so the questions is more of an affirmation than an inquisition.

It was a reminder of how simple it can be to engage talented people. It's not always easy, but by just asking the right questions sincerely, you can make a major impact.

HR Strategy (and a Special Offer from #ILSHRM11)

2011-08-26T09:37:00.000-07:00

I am fortunate to be presenting a session at the SHRM 2011 Strategy Conference being held in Chicago on October 5-7. The conference theme this year is "Think Different" so I suspect I will fit right in. If you are still interested in attending this great event (even if you have no interest in my session), I have a great opportunity to share with you. By virtue of being a keynote speaker at the Illinois State SHRM conference this week, I am able to offer you a discount to attend the SHRM Strategy Conference. You can get a discount on your registration if you sign up before September 30 and use the discount code: SHRMIL2011.

My session at the Strategy conference is titled "The Power of a Plan: Unlocking the Full Value of an HR Strategic Plan in a Mid-Sized Organization." Basically, this session will dig into a simple framework for an HR strategic planning process that anyone can implement within their own organization. And, we'll talk about the real reason to do HR strategic planning (hint: it's not what you think it is).

To give you a sense for my perspective on HR Strategy, I'm republishing a post here that I originally posted on TLNT.com earlier this year.

Building a Strategic HR Plan: The Best Time You’ll Ever Invest in Your Team

Originally posted: April 21, 2011 on TLNT.com

When historians write about the great battles throughout human history, invariably one of the keys to victory is a military leader with a brilliant strategy for defeating the enemy forces. It seems that when it comes to winning battles, the leader who can execute the most cunning plan will almost always emerge victorious.

The power of a great plan translates far beyond the battlefield and is particularly relevant for HR teams. After all, human resources is in a battle — a battle for credibility; a battle for respect; a battle for influence. And a great plan may be the key to winning this battle.

For human resources, the power of planning may not be where you expect it to be.

Four keys to a well-designed plan

Instead of being solely the results produced from the execution of the plan, the real power lies in the planning process itself. To be most effective, the planning process for an HR team must be broadly inclusive of internal customers and stakeholders. A well-designed inclusive planning process can accomplish several things.

Alignment. This is the commonly understood value of strategic planning. The plan articulates how the work HR does aligns to support the organization’s strategy and goals. The plan also ensures that the people and functions within human resources are aligned with each other towards achieving the same objectives.
Buy-in. One of the struggles of HR teams is that many of our customers think they could do our jobs better than we do. They have a lot of opinions about HR, some good and some ill-informed. By executing a broad, inclusive process of strategic planning, you can solicit your customer’s opinions in the process so that they feel like you've heard their ideas and considered them in creating the plan. If they feel included, they are far more likely to be supportive.
Education. Let’s face it, most of our customers don’t really understand what we do in HR. And, if we are honest, we've probably worked to keep it that way in order to preserve the value of our expertise. But to enhance our credibility organizationally, we need to invite the business into our work instead of keeping them out. An inclusive planning process that involves our customers will help them get better educated about what we do and how we do it. They will, without question, come away with a better appreciation for how hard our job is in HR.
Control. We’re not talking about control over others, but rather a control of how HR should be evaluated and understood. One of the principles I live by is that we teach people how to treat us. Put another way, if you aren't being treated the way you think you should be, it’s because you are allowing it to happen. When we don’t manage the organization’s expectations of human resources, we leave our destiny in other’s hands. We know they don’t really understand how we add value, so why would we allow them to determine how we should be evaluated? A well-designed strategic plan enhances your control of how others will interpret your results.

If you currently have a strategic planning process within HR, but you aren’t seeing these results, it’s likely because you aren’t making it inclusive enough of the business. Being inclusive takes time so it can be a tempting step to minimize or skip. Avoid this trap.

What the planning process must include

There are many correct ways to do strategic planning and you will have to choose which approach is best for your organization. Regardless of the specific approach you choose, to achieve the results outlined above, your process must include the following components.

Extensive input from your internal customers on the current state of HR. This process can be painful because if done correctly, you will get some feedback that isn’t flattering or easy to hear. How you gather this information can range from surveys to focus groups to one-on-one discussion. Depending on your organization, you may need an external consultant to assist with this part of the process in order to get honest feedback.
Feedback from your HR staff on the strengths and weaknesses of the team. Again, this process can be handled in a variety of ways. The critical element is to ensure that the HR staff has input and feels heard, particularly those who work on the front lines with employees every day.
Strategic information from each business unit or department/division about their future plans, and the major challenges they anticipate for their business, both in general and regarding their talent. It’s important to spend time on in-person discussions in addition to gaining copies of written strategic plans. The conversations are another way to make them feel included in the process and to ensure that your plan reflects the critical needs of their business.
Broad communication of the plan back to those who participated in the process and other key stakeholders. Depending on the audience, the amount of detail to share will vary, but it’s critical that once the plan is completed, you take the time to sell it back to the organization. In the communication, you must remind them of how the plan reflects their input and is designed to support their success.

This process is time consuming to complete and it can feel tedious at times — but it might also be the best time you ever invest in your HR team. When executed correctly, an inclusive strategic planning process can take your HR team from being perceived as a necessary evil to emerging as a strategic leader within the organization.

What is Talent?

2011-08-25T04:11:00.000-07:00

I originally wrote this post as a guest post for the Human Capital Institute in February 2010. I was recently reminded of it and as I read it again, I liked the message. So, I thought it was worth sharing again here.

What is Talent?

Over the past decade, it seems that the concept of Talent has come to the forefront of our business conversations. We talk about talent. We select for talent. We even have entire departments devoted to the management of talent. But what truly is talent?

When we talk about talent, there are a variety of perspectives we can take. As defined by dictionary.com, talent is defined as both: A special natural ability –or– A capacity for achievement or success.

I think that the realm of sports offers the easiest examples when it comes to thinking about talent. By the definitions above, if we were putting together a basketball team, we would find a couple different kinds of talent. The first kind of talent is the kind we find in a point guard who is very quick with his hands and feet which allows him to dribble and pass the ball very effectively. This is certainly a special natural ability. At the same time, an individual who is 7 feet tall could also be thought to have talent because height in basketball generally means a capacity for achievement (although we probably wouldn’t normally have thought of height as a talent). The thing that both individuals share in common is that they possess traits that may predispose them to success in basketball, but that definitely don’t guaranty success.

In organizations, talent is more complicated to understand. We’ve all known people who have both the ability and capacity to be successful, but don’t for some reason. While some people may argue that this is a case of wasted talent, I think that it’s more complicated than that. I think that at the root of the problem is that we often consider talent to be universal, that a “talented” individual will excel in any situation.

If we take a more practical approach to talent in business, we might define talent as “anything that predisposes an individual to success in a position or organization.” Said another way, talent is situational. It is something you don’t have to learn that will give you a natural advantage towards being successful in a specific situation. Defined this way, a trait may be considered a talent in one situation and not another (i.e. being 7 feet tall is a talent in basketball but not in flying fighter jets). I’m not suggesting that you have to have talent to be successful in a role, but that having talent will mean that you are starting with an advantage. If I have a position on my team that requires heavy interaction with people, hiring someone who has the talent of an outgoing personality would certainly make for an easier path to success than hiring an introvert. Conversely, that outgoing personality may not be a talent if I was hiring for a computer programmer.

So, if we think of talent as situational rather than universal, our job as talent management professionals can be boiled down to finding ways to set talent free. Our focus should be on placing people in the right roles where their abilities and capacities can manifest as talent to drive our organization’s success.

8 Ways to Turn Conference Attendance into Actual Results

2011-08-24T07:23:00.000-07:00

How often have you returned from a conference or training seminar with a notebook full of ideas, intentions, and new contacts only to immediately get sucked back into the work vortex at the expense of everything in the notebook?

It happens to everyone, all the time. Good conferences can shoot you full of energy and renew your spirit. But, it's really, really hard to maintain that energy when you return to work. It doesn't have to be this way. But, the only person who can change the cycle is you. You have to make a commitment to yourself and your organization that you won't let allow this investment of time and money to be wasted.

Here are few things I have found work for me, perhaps they will work for you.

When you schedule to attend a conference, block out several hours (maybe even half a day) on your calendar the morning after you return from a conference and call it "Conference Follow Up/Debrief." This helps to ensure that you have time when you get back to the office to process the experience and take some immediate steps to capitalize on the momentum from the conference.
During this time, send follow up emails and social network connection requests to all of the people you met at the conference. The follow up is just to ensure that you solidify the connection, share contact information and perhaps create an expectation of connecting again in the future.
Either on your way home from the conference or in this time you set aside once you are back, go through your notes and make a list of the most important things you learned or ideas that were sparked throughout the conference. This list can be as long as it needs to be.
Chose one thing on your list to take action on immediately. It doesn't have to be huge, but chose something that can have some immediate impact.
Identify up to 3 more things on your list that you will commit to take action on in the next 30 days.
Type these four things into a document. At the top, it should say: "I commit to doing these things in the next 30 days." Print this document and either hang it up in your office (most effective) or put it into a drawer on your desk where you will have to look at it frequently.
Share this document with someone else in your office or your network who you respect and trust. Ask them to follow up with you in 30 days to see if you completed the things on the list.
Schedule a 30 minute appointment in your calendar for 90 days from the day you return from the conference. The meeting should be titled: "Review xyz Conference/Training Session Notes." This will remind you to pull out your notes and look through them again, creating another opportunity to capture some of the energy of the experience again and to perhaps find some new things you could implement.

By taking some very simple, but intentional steps, you can use your conference and training experiences to propel you and your team forward. Be brave enough to hold yourself accountable for turning your ideas and intentions into results.

I am Bulletproof

2011-08-19T03:43:00.000-07:00

On June 20, I announced to the world through this blog, email and wherever else people would listen that I was in the process of transition out of corporate HR. My goal wasn’t to leave the work of Human Resources, but to better align my work with what I do best.

As I suggested I would, I’ve done a lot of self-reflection to guide my decision on what’s next. Here’s what I learned. I am great at creating HR strategy and solving HR problems—particularly those related to talent. I have a knack for helping talented people find the courage to get out of their own way so they can unleash their talent on the world. I am also pretty good at facilitating senior level teams of experienced, smart people through strategic processes and discussions, particularly when it relates to talent, leadership and making teams work more effectively. And, people tell me I’m a really good speaker and writer.

When I stepped back and took a look at this, it seemed pretty obvious that I should go all in on a career in consulting and speaking. This really wasn’t a discovery, but more of a reinforcement of what I already knew. So, the BIG questions for me became how to transition into consulting and who to do it with.

The decision ultimately led me to a friend and mentor who I have known for a long time, Cy Wakeman. For those of you who may not know Cy, she’s been successfully consulting and speaking for over fifteen years. Last year, she published a terrific book titled Reality-Based Leadership: Ditch the Drama, Restore Sanity to the Workplace and Turn Excuses into Results. In the book, she lays out her philosophy for getting leaders and individuals out of their stories and into the truth of their reality so that they can achieve tremendous results in their life and career. Said another way, it’s a roadmap for making yourself and your organization bulletproof to your circumstances.

Cy and I first worked together when I hired her as a consultant years ago to help me build and deploy a talent management system at the company I worked for at the time. Our working relationship was different than most client consultant relationships. We were clearly kindred spirits and when we worked together, we produced some really amazing results. Cy has also been instrumental in coaching me through my early transition into corporate HR and she really helped me develop as a leader throughout my career. Through all of this, we became great friends.

When Cy found out that I was leaving the bank, she was among the first to reach out to me to talk about the future. I think we had always known that we would work together again someday; it was just a matter of when. I actually started working with Cy on a project basis back in early June to lead the development of a new product based on her work (more on that in a moment). Through the work on this project, we both came to the conclusion that this partnership needed to be more than temporary.

So, I’m really excited to announce through this long-winded blog post that Cy and I are launching a new consulting practice together. This new consultancy will be called Bulletproof Talent. We will help organizations implement reality-based leadership principles within their organizations through speaking, training and coaching. We will also help companies to deliver better, more reality-based HR and talent strategies and solutions.

Probably the thing that we are both most excited about is that we will be launching a new product in October of this year that will redefine how organizations think about employee engagement. A cornerstone of Cy’s leadership philosophy is that personal accountability is the foundation of becoming bulletproof. As leaders, we need to stop spending time and energy on our victim employees who expect us to perfect their circumstances before they will give us the gift of their mediocre work. Instead, we should invest heavily in our employees who are most personally accountable because they deliver great results, no matter what. When you adopt this line of thinking, the traditional employee engagement survey doesn’t make a lot of sense, because it treats every employee opinions as equal. When you do that, how do we know if we are working to engage the best or the worst of our employees?

The project I’ve been leading for Cy is to develop a tool that solves this problem. We call the approach Reality-Based Engagement^TM. Reality-Based Engagement is designed to finally deliver on the promise of employee engagement by measuring the personal accountability of each individual employee who completes the survey. Each response is then appropriately weighted. The volume gets turned way up on the responses from those who are most personally accountable. And the volume gets turned way down on those stuck in an entitled victim mindset. This enables CEO’s, leadership teams and strategic talent managers to ensure that the time and money they invest in engagement is impacting their very best employees. Finally, the engagement survey can truly deliver results to the bottom line.

I am incredibly excited about this product because it treats engagement in a way that will make sense to a CEO and the executive suite. It’s not about engaging every employee. It’s about engaging the best employees. If you are in the market for an employee engagement survey, I’d love to talk to you about this approach. We use our accountability measurement tool combined with an industry best engagement measurement tool.

So, I’m excited to announce the creation of Bulletproof Talent. Stay tuned for more details in the upcoming weeks and months (website, etc.). For those of you wondering, I will still continue my work with Talent Anarchy and Joe Gerstandt. We will continue to write and speak and wreak havoc together. But, my consulting work with clients will flow through Bulletproof Talent. This move finally allows me to bring all aspects of my life into synergy with one another. And I’m stoked about it.

Thank you to those of you who have been so supportive and encouraging during this process. I am very fortunate to have a great network of friends and colleagues that help propel me forward.

Quality of Hire isn't About Recruting - #TruLondon

2011-08-18T04:01:00.000-07:00

I'm fortunate to be speaking or facilitating at some cool recruitment conferences this fall. I'll be leading a couple of tracks at TruLondon 4 in London on September 1-2. I'm also going to be presenting a keynote at The Recruiting Conference in Chicago on November 2. In both cases, I've chosen Quality of Hire as the focus of my message.

Quality of hire is such a big part of our discussion in recruiting and yet, it's also one of the areas in our work where we have struggled the most to make great progress. I hope over the next couple of months to contribute in some small way to pushing the conversation forward on this important topic.

Since I'm speaking on this topic, I'm thinking about it a lot. And if I'm thinking about it, I will be writing about it as well. I'm republishing here a guest post I wrote for Jobsite on the topic. Jobsite is the major sponsor of the TruLondon event. You can find the post here or you can read it below. Enjoy.

Quality of Hire isn't about Recruiting

“My wife and I recently purchased a new house. We used a real estate agent to help us through the process of finding, evaluating, and negotiating the purchase of our new home. The agent added a lot of value to the process. She first met with us to outline the criteria we were looking for in a new house. Then, she leveraged her expertise and tools to identify a list of homes for us to review. My wife and I selected a short list of homes from those our agent found and we went out to tour these homes. Eventually, we found one that we wanted to buy. We worked through our agent to negotiate an offer on the house and ultimately we closed on the purchase.

Does this process sound familiar? If I were to outline the process a good recruiter should follow in helping a hiring manager fill a position, the steps are almost identical with one crucial difference—who we hold accountable for a bad outcome.

If for some reason in 3 years we have really grown to hate our new house and decide that we made a really lousy purchase, whose fault is it? I am guessing that you probably said the fault lies squarely with my wife and I. We made the decision to buy the house after all. It’s hard to blame the real estate agent assuming she didn’t do anything illegal or unethical. Her role was to facilitate the process of helping us find the house and negotiate the offer. We made the decision to buy that particular house out of all the options that were available to us.

So, why do we hold recruiters accountable for quality of hire? Recruiters facilitate a process. We don’t make hiring decisions (at least not in most cases), so why is it that we keep accepting responsibility for the quality of hire within our organizations? If the hiring manager is making the hiring decision, they are responsible for the outcome of that decision. Quality of hire is not a measure of recruitment effectiveness. It’s a measure of the effectiveness of the hiring decision. There are a lot of things we control within recruiting, but the commitment, skill and decision making skill of our hiring managers isn’t on that list.

Let’s be clear, this doesn’t mean that recruiting shouldn’t try to measure quality of hire. It also doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t try to influence and improve the hiring abilities of our hiring managers. What it means is that the way we use the quality of hire metric has to change. It’s not a measurement to improve recruiting, at least not directly. It’s a tool to hold hiring managers accountable for making quality hiring decisions.

My point is this. Quality of hire is important. But, if you can’t or won’t hold your hiring managers accountable for their making poor hiring decisions, stop measuring it. It’s a waste of time and you are only hurting yourself.”

Quotes I Love, Volume 1

2011-08-17T05:53:00.000-07:00

I am not a collector. Just don't have the wiring for it. But, as with everything, there is always an exception. The closest I come to being a collector is that I have historically saved quotes. These little sound bites matter to me. In each I find a spark or insight that sticks with me. And the magic of a great quote is that you can return to it years later and it will spark the same insight. So, if you love quotes, I'm going to share with you some of my favorites here. If quotes annoy you, you can bail out on this post now.

Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing. – Oscar Wilde

Out of difficulties grow miracles. – Jean de La Bruyère

Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings. – Samuel Johnson

The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely the one who dropped it. – Lou Holtz

Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm. – Winston Churchill

Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together. – Vincent Van Gogh

The value of an idea lies in the using of it. – Thomas Edison

Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers. – Voltaire

Quotes are powerful. Perhaps these have spoken to you in the way they spoke to me. Please share your favorites in the comments here if you are so moved. I will add them to my collection.

Have a great day!

Illinois SHRM, Here I Come - #ILSHRM11

2011-08-16T05:17:00.000-07:00

Next week, I have the privilege to be speaking as a part of the Illinois state SHRM Conference lineup. They have put together a pretty interesting and compelling program. The Illinois HR community is in for quite an experience.

Talent Anarchy (Joe Gerstandt and I) will be providing one of the three keynote presentations at the conference. We are excited to be bringing our message about the power of relationships and social capital for HR to this progressive conference. As a part of the conference planning, they asked us to create a short video that they could use to promote our session. Below is what you get when you ask two talent anarchists for a promotional video. Enjoy.

I will also be presenting a breakout session called "Power and Politics in the Organization: Understanding the Game." I love presenting this session because I get to challenge HR's notion that politics and power are the seedy underbelly of corporate life and that HR shouldn't have anything to do with either. My goal in this presentation is to change minds about these two dynamics to help HR pros understand that politics is a part of how things get done in organizations and that power is really about influence. Most HR pros really know their stuff when it comes to HR, but yet we don't have the credibility we need to move the organization. The missing links can be found by studying power and politics. I show motivated HR pros how to get in the game.

I am humbled to be part of the Illinois SHRM Conference this year. The planning group is taking some risks to make their conference dynamic and engaging. I look forward to the experience and will do everything I can to help them succeed.

Great HR is knowing Why

2011-08-11T08:50:00.000-07:00

By nature of having a 3 year old daughter at home, I hear the word "why" about 3,000 times a day. Even at hear young age, she's discovered the power of this tiny word. It provokes thought. It provokes conversation. It provokes discovery. Ultimately, it leads to learning and confidence. And we don't use it enough within our work in HR.

This may be really over simplified, but I think it may also be this straight forward. To practice human resources in a way that adds value and that your CEO, business partners and colleagues will love, simply know why you do what you do. Some examples.

Why does HR exists? If you can't answer this question the same way your executive suite answers it, you are losing the battle. Either you are out of alignment and out of touch OR you aren't influencing up to shape HR should be defined and understod. My answer: HR exists to make sure an organization has the human capital it needs to succeed. Pretty straight forward.

Why do we invest in Talent? Can you define what talent is at your organization and why it's important? You are the expert within your organization on talent. If you can't define the why here, who can?

Why does a policy exist? If you don't know why, find out. If it's a stupid or out-dated reason, kill the policy. If it's a good reason, communicate that. people hate rules that don't seem to exist for a reason. They may not love any rules, but they will respect rules that exist for a reason that they can understand.

Why do we make people do performance appraisals that everyone hates (even HR) and that don't seem to impact performance (at least not positively)? Enough said on this topic.

Why do leaders need to communicate (or develop or motivate or etc.) their people? It's critical that we aren't just reading off a script that someone else provided to us. We often stand on the HR pulpit and preach the importance of communicating with and developing our employees. But can you articulate the reason why this is important in a way the CFO would find credible? How does it impact or matter to achieving business goals?

This is just a few questions to get your brain started. By committing to know why you and your HR organization do what they do, you will be on the track to greater credibility and impact within your organization. Be warned though that asking why a lot will make others uncomfortable and will likely cause some conflict. It's not always easy and it's certainly not comfortable, but that's why many people aren't practicing great HR.

What does Strategic mean in HR?

2011-08-08T10:06:00.000-07:00

There's a lot of misunderstandings about what it means to be strategic in Human Resources. Having a plan doesn't necessarily make you strategic. Talking about the future doesn't make you strategic. Being proactive doesn't even make your strategic.

The mark of a truly strategic HR leader or team, is when you move from giving the business what they want and instead give them what they need. Strategic HR is about ensuring the organization has the Human Capital it needs to achieve it's goals and objectives.

Recently, I heard an HR leader talk about a strategic planning process they were planning to implement. Their process began with asking their business leaders questions about their expectations of HR services (i.e. If you have a training need, how to you expect HR to assist you in meeting that need?). It's not bad to ask about expectations, but there's nothing strategic about this type of questioning. This type of questioning assumes that your business leaders have the expertise to identify training needs and are knowledgeable about the range of options for meeting those needs? It's asking them what they want in a situation where they can't possible know. Isn't this supposed to be HR's area of expertise? Their job is to run their business, our job is to provide them with the human resources they need to make it happen.

To be strategic means that instead of asking the business about what they want from HR, you have to ask them questions about what they plan to accomplish in their business, what obstacles they see in the market, and what they see as the impact to how their workforce will need to adapt and perform. Armed with this information, our role in HR is to then provide these business leaders with a plan for how to ensure their workforce is ready to meet the needs of the business. This may not always look like what they want, but if it's rooted in what they need, they will start to value HR as a strategic partner.

Pull the Trigger

2011-08-04T08:30:00.000-07:00

One of the hardest things to do as a leader is to know when to pull the trigger on firing someone. I've heard so many leaders talk about how much trouble they have with making the decision to fire even when the person is under performing or worse a general nuisance. Yet, these same leaders will tell you a story about how relieved their were and how much their lives improved after they finally found the guts to pull the trigger and make the fire.

So, why is it that we have such a tough time? In my experience, it's because we focus too much on the wrong side of the hiring equation. Assuming you are a good manager and leader, you've given this person every opportunity to right the ship. Even so, we still think about the effects the firing will have on the person that needs to be fired and you convince yourself that you should give the person one more chance or "just a little more time" to turn it around. That sounds very caring and humane. But it's not. Here's the problem.

While you are avoiding making the decision to fire this person, your team and your credibility as a leader are suffering, sometimes very painfully. Here's what's happening while you struggle over pulling the trigger:

The other members of the team who work with (or worse for) the person in need of a good firing are having to deal with extra work, extra drama, and a lot of unnecessary headaches. They are struggling.
These team members get progressively more frustrated that this situation isn't being addressed and they start commiserating with each other.
If this is allowed to go on for too long, you team starts to question your leadership and whether or not you really care about them and if you are really committed to performance (as you probably have said you are). They have to assume you either aren't smart enough to see what's happening, you don't have the guts to deal with it, or you just don't care.
Your customers are experiencing sub-par service and might be thinking about shopping around. This leads to further questions about your leadership and puts your organization at risk.

So, this all leads me to ask the question: who are you protecting? Your good employees are suffering. Your customers are suffering. Your credibility and future career prospects are suffering. All because you are protecting the one person on your team who shouldn't be there. Stop it.

Do it. Pull the trigger. Your team and your customers will thank you for it.

I am Not a Thought Leader

2011-08-01T04:21:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago, the always outspoken John Sumser published a post at HRexaminer titled "Pummeling Equine Cadavers." You probably missed it if for no other reason than the title doesn't even hint at the really interesting points John makes in the piece. In it, he airs some frustrations around the idea of "thought leadership," particularly within the HR space and challenges us to think about how change really happens when an industry desperately needs to evolve.

A few quotes in particular stood out to me:

Much of what passes for HR thought leadership involves little thought. It’s all smoke and no fire.

Self proclaimed HR thought leaders tend to be vacuous morons, incapable of sustained thought. There’s a code that I saw somewhere that says you can’t be one unless someone else says you are (without being asked to). Even that’s not good enough, really. The bluntest knife in the box has a mom who thinks he’s got HR Thought Leadership potential.

My question is simple. Is the power of a good example enough to change an industry? That is, are great recruiters or Hr pros who set an amazing example operating in a way that can change an industry. Or is something else required?

I think that the underlying point here is that talk is cheap. There is more talk about HR than ever in history thanks to social media and the blogosphere, and yet, it doesn't appear that our rate of evolution as an industry has increased, at least not nearly as much as one would expect. This begs the question, should we be doing less talking and more doing?

One of the things I learned many years ago was a lesson I've summed up this way, "Ideas are cheap. Everyone has ideas. What is exceptional is the ability to take an idea and make it real. Execution is the real differentiator." It would seem that John Sumser might even argue that not everyone has ideas and that perhaps I'm a bit optimistic in saying that.

Regardless, we both agree that at the very least we need less talk at the expense of action and more game changing examples to learn from. John asks an important question at the end of his post: is setting a great example enough to change an industry? My answer: Yes . . . and No. I do think that it is imperative that we have more teams and leaders out there setting great examples. And by great examples, I mean people who are breaking the rules and redefining how HR gets done in a way that drives business forward. This is so important because those setting the example prove it's possible. And once it's proven possible, it's easier to rally the troops to go make it happen.

But, is example enough? No way. If HR is to survive, we have to bond together as a community of leaders, of warriors, fighting for our way of life. We have to not only strive to be the example, but to share that example with others and to seek out other's examples to provide us with inspiration. We have to protect each other from making the same mistakes over and over again. We have to hold each other accountable to doing better business and being better examples.

It's probably hypocritical for me to say "less talk, more doing" here in my blog as I add more noise to the discussion. But, then again, I'm no thought leader. At least, I hope not (regardless of what my mom thinks).

What does GREAT look like?

2011-07-18T05:17:00.000-07:00

Last week, I spent a couple of days with eighty leaders from across my state working on defining our collective vision for the future of the state. As a part of this process, we were asked to break into groups to define what makes something "great."

This may seem like a fairly easy task. But, before you jump to any conclusions, try it for yourself. Write down how you define what makes something great--not good, not really good, but great. Think about places you've been or experiences you've had that you remember as great. What was it about them that made it stand out?

It's a much harder task than it should be. All of us are, or should be, in the greatness business. Hopefully, we aspire to be great, to offer a great product or service, to leave great impressions with people. I think many of us probably think we are working toward 'great,' but how can that be if we haven't defined what it means?

The definition put forward by one of the groups really stuck with me. It was that greatness is transformative. Once you experience something great, the way you view the world had changed forever. Once you have seen greatness, you view everything else through that lens in the future.

That seems like a powerful standard to hold ourselves to as we create. Being good is overrated, everyone is doing it. Be great.

"Seat at the Table" isn't a four letter word

2011-06-30T13:12:00.000-07:00

Something has been bothering me but I couldn't lay my finger on why until this week. It has become increasingly popular for HR pundits and bloggers to skewer anyone in HR who talks about or writes about having a "seat at the table." The argument seems to be that they are tired of hearing about it and perhaps there is no "seat" at the table to be had. They mock when someone uses it. They make people who use the phrase feel as if they've just uttered a profanity.

And it's kind of starting to piss me off. Because there IS a seat at the table to be had for HR, and in most cases, we aren't claiming it and aren't sure we know how. Do we overuse this phrase? Maybe. But, it seems that this movement to ban the phrase implies that if we stop staying it, the reality that human resources is not living up to it's strategic promise will somehow vanish.

I, for one, think it's great that so many around the HR profession are struggling, striving and desiring a "seat at the table." I think they should talk about it. It proves that they are at least awake and aware that they don't currently have one. The seat at the table represents an arrival in most people's minds--a corporate knighthood of sorts. It's not really a seat, of course, but rather a position of influence and power that is participating in leading the business into the future. Why wouldn't you want that as a goal?

So, can we please stop this silliness of banning phrases and making people feel foolish for using them? This particular phrase means a lot to some people and I applaud those who have the courage to have the conversation about their own quest for "the seat." We don't have an issue of language. We do have issues of strategy, leadership, courage, and execution in HR. But, those are issues we can tackle and conquer, so long as we have the right goal. In my opinion, a seat at the table is a pretty good one.

A New Chapter Begins

2011-06-20T06:25:00.000-07:00

Two of my wise friends, Jason Seiden and Roger Fransecky, have both taught me to think of life as a story that is written in chapters as we live it. Today, I begin writing a new chapter in my life as I leave one job and begin the process of finding my way to what’s next.

Three years ago, a very successful regional bank decided that they wanted their human resources function to contribute in a different way to their organization. They knew they needed an HR team that was more proactive and strategic in order to succeed in the future. To make this happen, they went to market and hired a strategic change agent to not only lead the HR organization, but also to join their executive team to participate in leading the company.   I’m grateful to have been given this opportunity. It’s been a busy couple of years learning, growing and making things happen.

At the bank, I had the opportunity to work for an organization that truly cares about people to its very core. This experience has restored my faith in the idea of loyalty in business. Turns out, if you truly care for your employees and show it consistently over time, people will stick around, work hard for you and defend the organization. Loyalty may be rare, but it is alive and well.

I had the privilege to lead their HR organization through a transformation.   In my time there, we recruited some great new talent to the HR team and we transformed what HR means and does within the organization. I leave a team I was proud to lead. I can’t wait to see what great things they do in the future.

My transition out of the bank was a mutual decision. It was the kind of grown up decision that is hard to make, but that many of us face at key points during our lives. The bank is a great organization and I’m proud of all we accomplished together. But, it had become increasingly clear that we just weren’t compatible enough to go on a long term journey together. So, rather than ignore this truth at the expense of both parties, the right decision was to resign and move on. I wish the bank nothing but great success in the future.

As I turn the page on this new chapter of my career, I now face the both daunting and exciting question, what’s next?

Any time I begin a new chapter in my life, I turn to some self-examination and discovery work. I’ve spent the past 8 years of my career in corporate Human Resources leadership roles. I love the work of HR. At its foundation, the work of HR for me is about setting talent free within organizations to drive success and growth. I do this by helping organizations and individuals find truth about themselves, their people, their leadership and their culture. I also help organizations find the courage to examine if these truths align to their intentions and goals.   If there is a gap, I help design the path to close it.

I continue to run around poking status quo in the eye as half of the Talent Anarchy team. For those who don’t know about Talent Anarchy, it’s the name Joe Gerstandt and I have given to our collaborative work together in our writing and speaking. We will be keynoting at a couple awesome state SHRM conferences in the upcoming year and, more immediately, will be doing our thing at the SHRM national conference in Vegas next week. We are also in the process of finding a publisher for a book we’ve written (tentatively titled “When Talent isn't’ Enough) about how the relationships in our lives are the key to unleashing talent.

I have also been very fortunate to find some consulting work since leaving the bank. My consulting projects to date are using my breadth of HR experience combined with my innovator’s mind. I’m helping an HR consultancy design new products for their clients. I’m also helping some peer consultants where they need a different perspective and new ideas for a project. In addition, I’m helping an organization determine how to implement more strategic HR. I’m thankful to have these assignments so quickly after leaving the bank.

As I look to the future, I see tremendous opportunity and challenge. Talent has never been so important to business and yet, we seem to be as confused as ever relative to how to find, keep and develop it. We sometimes struggle even to answer the question, “what is talent?”   This is where I feel that I can help organizations make great progress.

My instincts are telling me to return to my consulting and entrepreneurial roots, to join forces with a company who helps other organizations to unleash talent and make work better. It seems that my passion, skill and talent are pointing me in this direction. The fact that several consulting projects found their way to me within days of leaving the bank may also be a good sign to follow this path.

So, I begin my search for my next professional adventure in earnest today. I am looking for an organization in the talent business who will challenge me to bring all of my abilities to bear to help them do exception work for their clients. I want to find a organization with big dreams and big ambitions where I can help them achieve them. Selfishly, I am looking to spend as much time as possible doing what I love and what I do best.

I am an innovator, a catalyst, and a visionary.

I help leaders envision a better future and how to create it.

I am a relationship builder.

I design and build people solutions that drive change.

I challenge individuals and leaders to find the courage to unleash their talent and the talent of those around them.

I dig big ideas.

I am an influencer.

I love tackling a problem that others don’t think can be solved.

I speak and write about ideas in a way that engages and makes people think differently (and maybe even act differently).

I crush the status quo.

I’m ready for a big, hairy, audacious opportunity. My next chapter is yet to be written and I look forward to living the story to see how it turns out.

The Power of Paying Attention

2011-06-13T08:41:00.000-07:00

I find myself in awe of my 21 month old son, Colton, almost daily as I watch him growing and learning to navigate the world around him. Each moment, it seems, he's finding something new to try, to learn.

The thing that strikes me most about Colt are the things that he's learned that no one has taught him. He knows how to turn on and off the television. He had recently learned how to climb up on the tall kitchen chairs. He can eject a DVD from the player. He has learned how to drag the training potty contraption in front of the bathroom vanity so that he can climb up on top of it to find all of the treasurers there that he can't reach otherwise (like toothbrushes and water glasses).

We didn't teach him any of this for obvious reasons. He learned through the power of focused observation.

You see, he's a sneaky little dude. If I (or his sister or brother or mom) are doing something he's interested in doing, he watches our actions with intense focus. Then, as soon as we are done, he takes what he learned and puts it into immediate practice as he tries to replicate our result. It's pretty impressive how quickly he picks things up. I suspect that most children at the same age have this same ability.

So, what is it that makes him such a quick study?

1. He's highly motivated to learn. At that age, children are learning machines. They are hardwired for learning. As adults, being this highly motivated to learn is a conscious choice. Without this motivation, we stop observing. We even stop paying attention in most cases. Think about how motivated you are early in any romantic relationship to learn about your partner and how that leads to paying a great deal of attention to your partner. As time wanes on, you become less motivated to learn as you grow more familiar and comfortable in the relationship. What happens as a result? You pay less attention.

2. He's intensely focused. When Colt watches me do something, he's transfixed on whatever I'm doing as he tries to really absorb the details. It is as if the world disappears for him for a few moments so he can take everything in. Focus seems to be in shorter and shorter supply these days. With iPads and smartphones constantly with us, it seems that 75% passes for full attention these days. We rarely seem to find the same kind of focus that Colt displays when he's trying to figure out a new activity.

3. He sees no limitations. In his little world, Colt believes he can do anything if he can just figure out how to do it. He doesn't judge. He doesn't self-limit. He's nearly fearless when it comes to trying new things. Does he get hurt once in a while? Sure he does, but it's all part of his learning process. Because he knows no limits and very little fear, his pace of learning is incredibly fast. He doesn't suffer from the same limitations that we place on ourselves. He doesn't predetermine if something is possible or within his scope of capabilities. He just does it.

The more I have thought about this, the more convinced I am that we can use this model to enhance our own learning and growth. What would happen for you if you got intensely motivated on learning, really focused on what you wanted to learn, and then you approached applying your learning as if nothing was impossible? I suspect that you'd be transformed.

Just like Colton seems to be, every day.

Calling the Question

2011-06-02T04:34:00.000-07:00

Earlier this week, I read a post by Charlie Judy on his always thought provoking blog, HR Fishbowl, titled "Stop Playing Nice if it Doesn't Advance the Ball." The post overall is about how we have come to be crippled in business by the desire for majority rule or consensus in business decisions. Charlie outlines how the compulsion towards unanimous support is causing us to become progressively more inefficient and ineffective.

There was one section in particular that stuck out to me in the post:

Rarely have I been to a meeting where the leader actually opens it by saying something like, “I’ve gathered you here today to gain your perspective on a decision we’re trying to make. Once we’ve heard from you we’ll be making our decision based primarily on what we believe is best for the organization; that decision may or may not directly reflect your input.”

He's right. This is rare. Having your voice heard and your opinion counted has seemingly become an entitlement in our organizations. And, at the risk of sounding sacrilegious, this isn't a good thing. Yes, it is good to hear out employee opinions when and where appropriate, but there are times when not all opinions count. But, this isn't the real issue that jumped out at me.

The bigger issue and the reason we have this problem is a lack of leadership. Charlie implies that many of us are driving towards majority rule. I'm not even sure that this is true. I think, particularly as leaders within HR, we are held at times to a standard that every major decision we make requires unanimous support. But, even if we assume that majority rule would be sufficient, there's a leadership moment within any debate/discussion where it's clear that unanimous support will not be attained so it's time to call the question. Calling the question is a concept within parliamentary procedure that is essentially a formal motion to end debate immediately and take a vote on the issue at hand. Calling the question in a practical sense requires you, as a leader, to have some courage to know when it's time to stop debating and to make a decision. It also means moving forward with a decision, even if close to half the people don't agree with the it.

But, even if you can muster up the courage to call the question as a leader, that's just the beginning. The reality of leadership is that while you generally want the opinions and input of others in decision making, it's rarely left up to a vote. You are ultimately the decision maker so it's your call. So, calling the question really comes down to you being willing to end the discussion, and have the guts to make a decision--popular or not.

One of my mentors and the CEO of a company I worked for in the past was great at this. When the organization was facing a big decision, he would gather his team together. They would be briefed on all of the important information related to the decision. Then, they would have a period of spirited discussion and debate on the topic. Sometimes, they would come to a unanimous decision and the decision was made. Other times, the opinions in the room were split. My mentor would listen to and participate in the discussion as it happened. But, then when he felt the debate had made the issues clear enough for him, he would end the discussion. At that point, he would either declare what decision he had made and that he expected everyone to support it or he'd thank the group for the discussion and adjourn to contemplate the decision more fully before making his decision. Either way, he was a master at calling the question and making decisions.

This approach was powerful for two reasons. First, he had a great process for gathering and hearing people's input. He listened to and considered input from the people who had relevant perspectives on the topic at hand. So, people felt both heard and involved in the decision making process. Second, he moved swiftly through debate to decision. This meant that we didn't linger in the "not knowing" for very long. We knew that a decision would be made. We also knew that either we needed to come swiftly to a group decision or that he would make it for us. This created purposeful debate and focused effort towards making decisions.

As a closing thought, I think that using the script that I included from Charlie's post is a great model to use as a leader who has to move groups through major decisions as a group. However, I would add one more sentence to the end of that script:

"Once the decision is made, regardless of your personal feelings related to this decision, I expect you to support and execute it fully and enthusiastically."

To effectively call the question as a leader, the group needs to know that once the debate ends and the decision is made, it's time to make the transition from discussion to execution. Agree with the decision or not, our job is to make it work. Period.

3 Ways to Lead Better through Assumptions

2011-05-17T03:48:00.000-07:00

For years, I've been told not to assume. Assuming, it seems, is assumed to always have negative consequences. I think that assuming has gotten a bad rap.

While assuming the negative is a bad practice and often leads to bad things. Positive assumptions can be an equally powerful force to make good things happen. I've found several ways that making assumptions can make you a better leader.

1. Always assume positive intentions. Particularly in a world of email and truncated communcition, we are left too often to determine the tone or intention of a message without context. Human nature generally tends us towards the worst possible explanation when we are left to our own devices. For example, let's say you get an email reply from someone that says simply "Why did you send me this?" Simple enough question. It would be easy to react defensively to this note. Assuming positive intentions means that rather than spending any time wondering if their response is snarky or intended in a negative way, you simply assume the best intentions. In this case, we would assume the email to be a simple request for clarification or more information. Assuming positive intention would cause you to reply in a way that would be positive. Even if the person on the other end of that email was trying to pick a fight, you've now diffused it without even participating.

When you assume positive intentions, you will draw out the best in others. When the people you interact with every day experience this from you, they will actually start acting with better intentions on the daily basis. If you can teach this to your team or the others you work with most closely, workplace drama will almost disappear.

2. Assume that when your people fail, it was your fault, not theirs. Somewhere along my journey, I picked up this leadership philosophy from one of my mentors: "When things go wrong, take more than your share of the blame; when things go right, give away the credit." When you take the bullet for your team when they make a mistake, particularly a visible one, they will work hard to ensure you don't have to do that in the future. This doesn't mean that you don't hold them accountable, it just means that you take the public blame. Additionally, when your team fails to live up to your expectations, assume that it's because you didn't make those expectations clear enough. When you take on this responsibility, not only will you lead better, but those you hope to lead will be more loyal to you because they will see that you hold yourself to the highest standard.

3. Assume that everyone wants to be great, they just haven't been given permission yet. One of my greatest joys as a leader is giving this gift to people. Every person on some level wants to be remarkable, but they are afraid. They are afraid of failure. They are afraid of the inevitable attention that comes with being remarkable. They are afraid that if they are remarkable once, they will be expected to do it all the time. And they have plenty of people encouraging their mediocrity each day. Be the person who gives them permission to be great. Help them see that failure isn't fatal and that being expected to be great feels really good. Encourage them to take the risk to be as good as they are capable of.

By assuming these three things, you can become a better leader overnight. Your assumptions guide your actions and by adopting powerful positive assumptions about people, you will become the leader they want to follow because they can feel that you see greatness in them and that you always expect them to be their best selves.

How Icelandic Soccer Inspired Me

2011-05-16T04:02:00.000-07:00

When you are on the elliptical machine, gutting out a workout, and sweating like a mad man when something on the TV makes you laugh out loud, it must be good. This happened to me on Sunday morning.

What got me laughing? It was story on SportsCenter about the "unusual celebrations" of an Icelandic soccer team. Despite not being able to hear the narrative (I had my Ipod blaring some Lady Gaga at the time), the video was captivating. The piece showed clips from YouTube of a number of celebrations this soccer team has done after scoring a goal. The celebrations have names ranging from "The Salmon" to "Rambo" and "The Toilet." When I got home, I looked the piece up on the web and watched it with the narrative. It is awesome. I'd highly recommend that you watch it (embedded below).

These guys are having a great time. They seem to love playing together and you can see that they are having fun. It seems clear as you listen to these players talk about the celebrations that this freedom to be creative and express themselves is fueling their team. This creative silliness has become an important part of their bond to one another.

This got me thinking. Would we or do we allow our employees this kind of creative freedom at work? Would we celebrate (ahem, tolerate) this kind of silliness within our organizations? Sadly, I think that answer for most organizations is: probably not.

After watching the video, I think we should reconsider.

Forgiveness as a Leadership Skill

2011-05-12T03:46:00.000-07:00

"Can you believe what they did to me?"

"Why do they always have to be difficult?"

"Why are they attacking me?"

It seems to be a common human characteristic to assume that the world revolves around us (at least I hope it's not just me). We assume that when something happens that isn't according to our plan or that causes us some discomfort, that it must have happened with the sole purpose of throwing us off course.

We all probably work or have worked with someone who has a tendency to be difficult. Maybe this person challenges you on everything you say. Maybe this person doesn't listen when you talk. Maybe they spend their energy finding ways to avoid doing their work which adds to your own workload. They are difficult.

If you are like me, you may look at that person and assume she is being difficult because she don't like you and that she is actively trying to sabotage you. After all, the world revolves around you, right? And, because you assume she is working actively against you, the natural defensiveness creeps in and you start becoming withdrawn or even hostile towards her. It's a natural response, but it's also self-destructive and it gets in the way of being a leader.

Here's the truth of the sitation: no one is out to get you. The difficult colleague is probably just difficult. He likely doesn't know any better. And further, it's likely that this person is doing the best he knows how and is wondering why you are always so defensive around him. He isn't out to get you, not even a little bit.

So, you need to forgive him. Forgive him for how he behaves. You don't have to (and shouldn't) go tell him that you forgive him. This isn't about him, its about you. Because only once you have forgiven him for these imaginary transgressions against you can you begin to embrace this person for who he is. Once you embrace him for who he is, you are in a position to help him and to be a better partner.

You know how to do this. Think about a best friend or a significant other. He or she does things that probably irritated you at some point in your relationship. She doesn't return phone calls right away. Or maybe he always tries to get involved in "fixing" your issues rather than just listening like you hoped he would. If the relationship matters enough to you, eventually you realize that this person isn't doing any of this to annoy you, but rather it's part of who he/she is. You may even find that some of these annoying behaviors came from an intention of love and support. Once you know that, it's easy to get past and even embrace these behaviors.

By learning how to forgive and recognize most people are doing the best they can and the best they know how, we free ourselves to embrace, love and lead more effectively. Through letting go, we build better and stronger relationships.