2011 Most Popular Posts

It is the time of year to be reflective, to take stock of the past year and what we've accomplished while we turn our eyes to the upcoming year and make big plans.  So, as I looked back at 2011 through the lens of what I shared here on the blog, I thought I'd share some of the most popular posts form the year before I turn the page to begin 2012.

My 2011 Top Posts in Chronological Order

1. The Challenge in Proving ROI in HR
2. Performance Appraisals Must Die
3. HR is in Trouble
4. I am Not a Thought Leader
5. Three Powerful Words
6. You control NOTHING.  Get over it.
7. The Accountability Contagion 

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog.  It's a treat for me to have the opportunity to share my thoughts here and for others to actually read it.  I am grateful and humbled by you.

Thank you.  And Happy New Year.  I'll see you 2012.

Giving the Gift of Validation

Every now and again, I get an email from someone who reads my blog or who has seen me speak.  Sometimes, all the notes say is "Great post, I really enjoyed the perspective."  Other times, the note will relay that my message has touched their lives in some way.  These notes are some of the greatest gifts I receive throughout the year because they give me the feeling of validation--that my work matters.

Because these small notes matter to me, I have made it a goal to recognize others in my life when they make an impact on me--even if it's just to thank them for making a mark on my day or my life.  I've found that in almost every case, the person on the other end of that interaction seems grateful for the acknowledgement.

In October of this year, on my way to a conference in Vegas, I encountered the most amazing flight attendant on my Southwest flight.  He was terrific.  His demeanor and attitude were infectious and his service couldn't have been any better.  By the end of the flight, I was sort of in awe of him and how he was so amazing at his job.  So, when we hit the ground in Vegas, the first thing I did was tweeted Southwest airlines about how amazing he was (not sure they pay attention because they didn't tweet me back).  But, more importantly, on my way out of the plane, I said to him,  "You are really remarkable at your job.  Thank you."  It was his response that floored me.  He said, "Thank you.  We don't hear that kind of think very often."

He was amazing at his job, in a business where amazing is not all that easy to find.  And yet, he seemed to be starving for validation, for acknowledgement that his work makes a difference.  What a shame.

So, as we draw this year to a close, take some time to reflect on who has really made a difference in your life or who you were dazzled by in 2011 and then take the step to acknowledge them for the impact they've had on you.  If you read a great book this year that you can't stop thinking about, write the author a note and tell them as much.  If you child's teacher really helped them get motivated this year, write them an email to let them know that their efforts matter.  If one of your co-workers really stepped up to support you throughout this year, make sure they know that you noticed and that you appreciate them.  Those few minutes you take to validate the work of another may not seem like a lot to you, but it can mean the world to the person on the other end.

Give the gift of validation to others.  It's one of the easiest, cheapest and most valuable gifts you can give to another person.

A Cultural Lesson from Christmas Music

I love Christmas music.  I'm not ashamed to admit it.  I listen to Christmas music as my music of choice from Thanksgiving to New Year's every year.  In fact, as a card carrying member of Gen X, I've even created several "mix tapes" of Christmas music from my 30+ Christmas CD's I own.  My wife is convinced I have a problem, but she plays along since she likes the music too.

As I was listening to one of the local 24/7 Christmas music stations the other night while washing dishes, something struck me.  One of the really unique things about Christmas music is that it comes in every flavor imaginable.  As you listen to Christmas music, you'll get a jazz song, followed by country, followed by pop, followed by instrumental rock, followed by classical, etc.  You get the idea.  Christmas music represents a giant mashup of every kind of musical style.  It's vibrant and interesting and fun.  And I think that's part of the reason people love it.  It's the only time of year when most of us expose ourselves to such a wide variety of musical styles--and it's refreshing.

But, at the same time, Christmas music is familiar.  In the midst of all this diversity of musical styles is a common theme that I can connect to (and often sing along with).  It is this familiarity that holds Christmas music together as a genre and what makes it so powerful.    We know the words.  We know the tunes.  We know the stories.  And it's fun to hear so many unique and interesting interpretations of this familiarity.

As we reflect on this, I wonder if there's a lesson for culture building hidden within this phenomena of Christmas music.  In order for us to fully appreciate and make room for the power of diversity within our organizations, maybe we have to start with creating the familiarity.  I think that cultural familiarity comes in the form of values.  We recognize and feel comfortable in a culture where we recognize our values.  Where our values are honored and lived.  If I'm creative, I feel at home in a culture that practices a value of creativity.

Maybe if we can create a firm foundation of values to establish familiarity for those in the culture, then we can begin to make room for the vibrance of diversity as we see these values brought to life in many different ways.  If we both share a value of creativity, then when you express it one way and I express it another way,  that's not only okay, it actually makes the experience better.  It that creates a more robust exchange and allows us to create in more meaningful ways together.

So, as you finish your shopping or holiday preparations, take a few minutes to listen for the diversity that lives in Christmas music.  And then, when you head back to work after your holiday, let's find a way to bring some of that diversity with us.

It is NOT the Thought that Counts

Among the highlights of 2011 for me is getting connected with Jeffrey Cufaude and his work at Idea Architects.  If you aren't following him and reading his stuff, you should be.  He will inspire you.  

This week, in a blog post, he provided me with a spark of inspiration by referencing how often we use the phrase "It's the thought that counts," particularly during this time of year.  He simply referenced this quote to set up a really great point about quality versus quantity--but it got me thinking. 

I wish we'd erase this phrase from our language.  Because, I'm here to tell you, it is NOT the thought that counts, it is your actions that count.  I'm not suggesting that being thoughtful and intention isn't important because it is critically important.  But, if your actions don't align to your thoughts or intentions, they are meaningless.  

Let me provide some examples of thoughts that don't count without action:

• I thought about speaking up to support you in that meeting when you were being attacked. 
• I thought about donating to my local charity.
• I thought about spending some time with my kids.
• I thought about getting an MBA.
• I thought about asking my colleague what was wrong when I saw them come into the office clearly distraught.
• I thought about calling an old friend who's fallen on hard times.
• I thought about starting a blog.
• I thought about having an estate plan created to protect my family. 
• I thought about having my co-worker's back. 
• I thought about working out.
• I thought about sending out Christmas cards this year.

So, is it the thought that counts?  I think not.  In fact, taking the right action without a lot of thought (or any thought at all) can often be worth infinitely more than a thought.  

If you want to be a game changer, being a thoughtful person who takes bold action is the way to go.  Never under-estimate the power of combining your intentions with your actions.  

After all, "it's the ACT that counts."  

Do you have a Point of View?

Know why you do what you do.  That is what harnessing the power of intention in your life boils down to.  Last week, I wrote a post on this subject called "The HR Point of View" for the "We Know Next" blog published by the Society for Human Resources Management (SHRM).  Granted, this particular post is pointed at HR professionals, but the underlying message and call to action is true for anyone in any profession.

If you want to be exceptional at what you do, if you want to truly make an impact, then you need to cultivate a point of view about your work.  You need to be very clear about what matters to you when it comes to your work and what great work looks like.  And, you need to know where you are willing to draw the line.

The thing that I didn't address in my SHRM post is that most people avoid having a point of view for a simple reason--fear.  When you adopt a point of view or a specific philosophy about your work, it means that there will be times when you have to take a stand and push back.  That means conflict and most of us hate conflict, it's wired into us.

Developing a point a view indicates that you are at least intellectually willing to take a stand, to face the conflict.  But, it takes courage to actually hold the line when the conflict comes.  And many of us get petrified at the notion of this kind of conflict.

But, here's the thing--it is on the other side of the choice to make that stand where all of your excellence lives.  Once you make a choice to practice your profession on your terms and in the way that allows you to best show your talents, you will be able to accomplish things that don't seem possible today.

Guest Post: Birthdays in the Workplace

A few weeks ago, I got an email from a woman named Erin Palmer at Villanova University who asked if I would be open to her providing a guest post for my site.  Since Erin is in the HR education business and was bold enough to reach out and ask to collaborate, she had my ear.  When she said that she wanted to write a post about how birthday's are treated in the workplace, she had my interest.  I am pleased to share Erin's post with you here.  If you like the post, please ping her on twitter at @Erin_E_Palmer to let her know. Enjoy. 

Birthdays in the Workplace

On my birthday this year, one of my coworkers was kind enough to bring in cupcakes. It was a lovely gesture that was appreciated by me and my sweet-toothed colleagues. As a result, I got many birthday well-wishes during the day. Another coworker later emailed me to explain that he didn’t send me birthday greetings due to religious beliefs. I thought that was very considerate of him, but entirely unnecessary.

The entire experience got me to thinking about birthdays in the workplace. I’m an adult, so I would never be offended if someone ignored my birthday. However, I’ve noticed that many people don’t feel the same way. I’m in my twenties, and my peers are particularly birthday-crazy. My generation has taken birthdays to the extreme. Many of my friends celebrate their birthday week or even birthday month. Moreover, they expect others to celebrate along with them.

Don’t get me wrong, I love birthdays. If my husband forgot my birthday, he’d be in trouble. Remembering my birthday is his job. However, I don’t expect celebrations at my actual job. I appreciate the acknowledgment, but certainly don’t require it.

Birthdays in the workplace bring out a lot of questions for human resources professionals. Some companies ignore birthdays entirely while others actively reach out to birthday girls and boys for celebration purposes. Some offices have monthly celebrations that combine all of the month’s birthdays. How much or little birthdays are celebrated depend upon the company’s culture.

In any workplace there will be employees that would love to be serenaded with the birthday song and others that would rather hide than be sung to. There isn’t one right way to approach an employee’s birthday. It all comes down to what makes sense for the company. It is important for HR to be consistent with how the company handles such celebrations. Employees can decide to plan a lunch for a specific colleague, but HR needs to make sure that the company treats the employees equally.

Regardless of how HR handles workplace birthdays, employees should also remember that everyone is different. Don’t guilt your coworkers if they choose not to attend your birthday lunch. You never know what their reasons are. Celebrate in whatever way will make you happy… even if that means not celebrating at all.

Erin Palmer wrote this article on behalf of the online human resources programs at Villanova University. For those generous companies, consider treating your employees to an education for their birthday! Villanova offers an HR Masters online or courses to help with SHRM’s PHR certification. Erin can be reached on Twitter @Erin_E_Palmer. 

The Lesson from a Two-Year-Old Smashing my Flat Screen TV

Well, yesterday was just one of those days.

The day got off on the tangent it was going to travel at about 7 a.m.  That's when my two year old son, the tiny tornado of destruction named Colton, apparently decided that we needed a new television.  He was walking through the living room, innocently enough, carrying a foam covered toy baseball bat.  In hindsight, having a bat of any kind in the house was a poor parenting choice, but I digress.  Then, as my wife was walking over to get him for breakfast, it happened.

He swung the bat.  He wasn't even facing the TV when he swung, but the bat found it anyways.  And, as the bat hit the TV, the picture vanished.  The bat had crushed the panel of our flat screen.  In the blink of an eye, it had happened.  It was a goner.  Toast.

I wasn't actually in the room when this happened.  My wife relived the story with me once she calmed down enough to tell it.  And, as we stood in the dining room talking about what had just happened, I uttered the five words that helped me change my life many years ago.

"It is what it is."  

There was nothing at that point I could do to change the outcome.  Colton is a handful.  He's every story you've heard about the terrible twos all wrapped up into one child.  But, he wasn't trying to break the TV.  And despite the fact that I really wanted to be mad at him for this, I couldn't be.  After all, we shouldn't have ever let a bat in the house and we certainly shouldn't have let him carry it around.

When things like this happen, it's easy to get swept up in emotion.  I could have gotten really angry with Colton or with my wife since she was in the room when it happened.  I could have felt pity, "why does this stuff always happen to me."  I could have gotten frustrated that my plans for the day had now significantly changed.

But here were the facts.  My two-year-old son swung a bat that I allowed him to have in the house and he accidentally broke the TV.  That's it.  I happened and it was now time to decide what to do next.  We decided we needed to replace the TV, so that became the next step for us.

"It is what it is."

Channeling these five words in my career as a manager, leader, and HR guy has been invaluable.  People do some silly things.  People say some silly things.  Unfortunate things happen sometimes.  And whenever I encounter something unexpected, I utter those five words.  They remind me that reality happens.  There's no point in arguing with it.  The only positive thing we can do is absorb the facts of what happened, and then take forward action.  This approach has allowed me to drastically reduce the amount of unnecessary emotion that I used to have in my life and my work.  It keeps me grounded and helps me navigate more smoothly through difficult situations.  Without emotion, you can see situations and people much more clearly.

Perhaps it will work for you too.  Next time you want to get really angry at a co-worker, boss, spouse or child, stop yourself and instead say, "It is what it is."  And then focus on what you can do next to help improve the situation.  This approach has changed my life.  Perhaps it will yours too.

If Charlie Sheen can be Replaced, So can You.

Over my years in HR, a common phenomena that to encounter in the workplace is a type of employee I'll call the "Rock Star Jackass."  You know the type.  This is the employee that can produce tremendous tangible results (sales, work product, etc.), far better than their peers.  They are rock stars when it comes to results.  But, they have a dark side.  They are difficult to work with.  They don't follow rules.  They are borderline (if not blatantly) insubordinate.  And,  nobody really likes them (except maybe their customers).  They behave like a jackass.

I'm sure you recognize the type.  The best pop culture example we've had in recent time is Charlie Sheen.  From what was reported in the news over the years about Mr. Sheen, I think it's safe to say that he is a pretty good example of what I'm talking about.  

Rock Star Jackasses are difficult to handle in the workplace.  I've coached many managers throughout the years who struggled mightily with this type of person.  It's a double edged sword.  On the one hand, managers are held accountable primarily for the results of their team.  So, when a single person is responsible for generating a large chunk of those results, it's tempting to just avoid the issues to not derail the gravy train.  But, on the other hand, these employees are generally terrorizing their manager and fellow employees.  They take an enormous toll on morale and productivity.  So, what do you do?  

Apparently, you fire them.  

I was delighted to find a news article recently that reports that the CBS show Two and a Half Men, from which Charlie Sheen was fired and replace by Ashton Kucher earlier this year, is experiencing tremendous ratings growth over last year when Sheen was still on the show.   

Ten months after "Two and a Half Men" looked destined for cancellation, TV's top rated sitcom is the biggest ratings gainer of the new fall season. 

The show has far exceeded . . . expectations -- and also those of Sheen. Soon after Ashton Kutcher was named as his replacement, Sheen predicted in May that the show would average a mere 2.0 rating among 18-to-49-year-olds.  

"Enjoy the show, America," he told TMZ. "Enjoy seeing a 2.0 in the demo every Monday, WB."

Try three times that. The show is averaging a 6.4 rating, far better than the 4.6 it earned last year with Sheen in the lead. It has averaged 17.8 million total viewers.

This is a great reminder that no one is indispensable.  No matter how great an individual's performance might be or how large of a percentage of your team's performance they make up, they are not irreplaceable.  Performance is about more than just the numbers.  If an employee creates drama in the workplace and tears others down, then their emotional expense on the organization is likely cancelling out the value of their tangible performance.  The move valuable employees are those who deliver great tangible performance at very low emotional expense.  They are good corporate citizens, they help others succeed and they don't contribute any drama.  

So, remember, don't let an employee hold you hostage because they have high performance.  If Charlie Sheen can be replaced, anyone can.  

Stretch Yourself

My wife signed up this week to run a half marathon in the spring.  She invited me to sign up with her--which I seriously contemplated--at least for a couple of days.  I even spent some time running on the track at the gym to see how my body would hold up to the punishment of pounding my feet against the ground (not well, in case you are interested).  But as I thought about it, I started to remember the pain she went through last year as she prepared for what was then her first half marathon (The picture is of my wife, Angie (left), and her friend after finishing last year's half-marathon.).  At different times during training, she was icing her aching knees, hips and various other parts of her body.  She was hurting.  The training was grueling and at times, it didn't seem like she was having a lot of fun.  But, she did it.  She ran her first half marathon in a time she was happy with.  And I am incredibly proud of her.

I have always said since my college days, that running a marathon isn't something I have any interest in doing.  For one, my body isn't designed to withstand the punishment that long distance running places on it.  Thanks to my genetics, most of my joints are not designed well for any type of impact, which is why I've logged in what seems like a million hours on zero-impact elliptical machines.  But despite that, I still seriously considered signing up for this marathon with my wife.  Why?

Turns out, I love stretch assignments.  For me, stretch assignments are big goals that I'm not sure I can accomplish when I set out.  The reason I even contemplated signing up for the half marathon was that I'm not sure I could actually do it.  I know that the process of trying to do it would force me to grow and do things I maybe didn't think possible.  Alas, I decided not to run the half marathon because the risk to my body was not worth it to me.  But I am now on the path to identify a different stretch assignment in the arena of my physical health.

All of this got me thinking about the power of stretch assignments.  These kinds of assignments and goals can be a little scary for both individuals and managers because they appear to have a lot of risk involved. But, the risk goes away if you truly believe these two things:

• Long term growth is more valuable than short term comfort.  
• Failure isn't permanent, it's one of the best ways to learn and grow.  

If you truly believe in these two things, there is very little risk in stretch assignments.  In fact, you may start to wonder why you would want anything but a stretch assignment if you are looking at the big picture.  

Stretch assignments show up in our personal life and our professional life.  As an example, I agreed a year ago to serve as the Chair of the Board of Directors for Habitat for Humanity here in Omaha.  At the time, I was somewhat reluctant to take on the role because I didn't feel that I was sufficiently qualified.  Despite my reservations, the Board Chair at the time and the CEO of the organization assured me that I was the right person for the job.  So, I said yes.  My term starts in January.  I still think I'm probably not fully qualified for the role, but I'm learning already and I'm going to do my very best to serve the organization over the next year.  I am going to be stretched.  

So, if you want to create, find or assign stretch assignments to fuel growth for yourself or others, here are some of the components of a great stretch assignment.  

1. Motivation.  Taking on a stretch assignment that isn't connected to something you care about is a recipe for disappointment.  If I wasn't serious about my health, I wouldn't even consider a marathon because the struggle of the process would wear me down quickly and I would need the commitment to my health to power me through the tough times.  The same is true if you are a leader who assigns others to stretch assignments.  The best stretch assignments connect to the interests, passions or desires of an individual.  
2. Real possibility of failure.  A legitimate stretch assignment is one where it's almost as likely that you will fail as succeed.  From a learning perspective, I always use this quote to remind me of the importance of failure in motivating learning: "The moment you become more serious about knowing how to swim is right before you are about to drown."  Feeling the breath of potential failure on your neck as it stands right behind you is a huge motivation.  The higher the likelihood of failure, the more "stretch" will be involved and the more learning that is likely to occur.  
3. Discomfort.  We don't learn when we are comfortable.  Comfortable means safety.  Safety isn't bad, but safety is the opposite of growth.  In order to stimulate human growth requires getting uncomfortable.  Feeling uninformed is uncomfortable.  Feeling inadequate or under-skilled is uncomfortable.  Feeling like you are going to be exposed for these things is really uncomfortable.  And yet, that's when our brains respond and our learning accelerates.  
4. Support.  I'm not talking about a safety net kind of support, but rather the kind of support that will help you learn and process the situation as you go.  Do you have mentors who can share wisdom with you?  Do you have people who will lend you support?  When my wife ran the marathon last year, she had a lot of support.  One of her friends signed up to run it with her.  They trained together.  When one wanted to quit, the other would pull them through.  She also had me to encourage her and make sure she had the time to train adequately.  She had no safety nets, but she had support to help her along the way.  

The end of the year is a time of reflecting and planning.  As you reflect on 2011, consider how much you were stretched this year. Aren't sure?  Ask how much failure you risked this year--that will help reveal the answer to you.  And if you didn't stretch, what growth or opportunity did you sacrifice?  If you did stretch, what did you gain?  

And, as you plan for next year, think about how much you desire to grow or grow others.  If growth is important, if development is key, then stretch assignments are critical.  Put yourself and those you lead in stretch assignments.  Because as real as the potential for failure is when you do it, the rewards are exponentially greater.  Succeeding at a stretch assignment not only provides amazing learning, but it builds confidence and creates an appetite for greater challenge.  

Friday is for Freak Flags

If you follow this blog, you already know that I am a bit of a sports junkie.  Occasionally, I'll even watch the ESPN show, The Sports Reporters (which I don't generally recommend because it's like watching a debate team competition for sports geeks--unless your are into that sort of thing).

One of the regulars on the show is a guy named Woody Paige, a columnist for the Denver Post.  When Woody is on the sports reporters, he writes quotes on a board that shows in the background behind him as he banters away with the other reporters.  His quotes are often the best part of the show for me.

A few weeks ago, he had a quote written on his board that stuck with me and that I'd like to share with you as you head into the weekend.

"You laugh because I'm different.  I laugh because you're all the same."

Right on, Woody.  Right on.