For years, I've been told not to assume. Assuming, it seems, is assumed to always have negative consequences. I think that assuming has gotten a bad rap.
While assuming the negative is a bad practice and often leads to bad things. Positive assumptions can be an equally powerful force to make good things happen. I've found several ways that making assumptions can make you a better leader.
1. Always assume positive intentions. Particularly in a world of email and truncated communcition, we are left too often to determine the tone or intention of a message without context. Human nature generally tends us towards the worst possible explanation when we are left to our own devices. For example, let's say you get an email reply from someone that says simply "Why did you send me this?" Simple enough question. It would be easy to react defensively to this note. Assuming positive intentions means that rather than spending any time wondering if their response is snarky or intended in a negative way, you simply assume the best intentions. In this case, we would assume the email to be a simple request for clarification or more information. Assuming positive intention would cause you to reply in a way that would be positive. Even if the person on the other end of that email was trying to pick a fight, you've now diffused it without even participating.
When you assume positive intentions, you will draw out the best in others. When the people you interact with every day experience this from you, they will actually start acting with better intentions on the daily basis. If you can teach this to your team or the others you work with most closely, workplace drama will almost disappear.
2. Assume that when your people fail, it was your fault, not theirs. Somewhere along my journey, I picked up this leadership philosophy from one of my mentors: "When things go wrong, take more than your share of the blame; when things go right, give away the credit." When you take the bullet for your team when they make a mistake, particularly a visible one, they will work hard to ensure you don't have to do that in the future. This doesn't mean that you don't hold them accountable, it just means that you take the public blame. Additionally, when your team fails to live up to your expectations, assume that it's because you didn't make those expectations clear enough. When you take on this responsibility, not only will you lead better, but those you hope to lead will be more loyal to you because they will see that you hold yourself to the highest standard.
3. Assume that everyone wants to be great, they just haven't been given permission yet. One of my greatest joys as a leader is giving this gift to people. Every person on some level wants to be remarkable, but they are afraid. They are afraid of failure. They are afraid of the inevitable attention that comes with being remarkable. They are afraid that if they are remarkable once, they will be expected to do it all the time. And they have plenty of people encouraging their mediocrity each day. Be the person who gives them permission to be great. Help them see that failure isn't fatal and that being expected to be great feels really good. Encourage them to take the risk to be as good as they are capable of.
By assuming these three things, you can become a better leader overnight. Your assumptions guide your actions and by adopting powerful positive assumptions about people, you will become the leader they want to follow because they can feel that you see greatness in them and that you always expect them to be their best selves.
May 16, 2011
How Icelandic Soccer Inspired Me
When you are on the elliptical machine, gutting out a workout, and sweating like a mad man when something on the TV makes you laugh out loud, it must be good. This happened to me on Sunday morning.
What got me laughing? It was story on SportsCenter about the "unusual celebrations" of an Icelandic soccer team. Despite not being able to hear the narrative (I had my Ipod blaring some Lady Gaga at the time), the video was captivating. The piece showed clips from YouTube of a number of celebrations this soccer team has done after scoring a goal. The celebrations have names ranging from "The Salmon" to "Rambo" and "The Toilet." When I got home, I looked the piece up on the web and watched it with the narrative. It is awesome. I'd highly recommend that you watch it (embedded below).
These guys are having a great time. They seem to love playing together and you can see that they are having fun. It seems clear as you listen to these players talk about the celebrations that this freedom to be creative and express themselves is fueling their team. This creative silliness has become an important part of their bond to one another.
This got me thinking. Would we or do we allow our employees this kind of creative freedom at work? Would we celebrate (ahem, tolerate) this kind of silliness within our organizations? Sadly, I think that answer for most organizations is: probably not.
After watching the video, I think we should reconsider.
What got me laughing? It was story on SportsCenter about the "unusual celebrations" of an Icelandic soccer team. Despite not being able to hear the narrative (I had my Ipod blaring some Lady Gaga at the time), the video was captivating. The piece showed clips from YouTube of a number of celebrations this soccer team has done after scoring a goal. The celebrations have names ranging from "The Salmon" to "Rambo" and "The Toilet." When I got home, I looked the piece up on the web and watched it with the narrative. It is awesome. I'd highly recommend that you watch it (embedded below).
These guys are having a great time. They seem to love playing together and you can see that they are having fun. It seems clear as you listen to these players talk about the celebrations that this freedom to be creative and express themselves is fueling their team. This creative silliness has become an important part of their bond to one another.
This got me thinking. Would we or do we allow our employees this kind of creative freedom at work? Would we celebrate (ahem, tolerate) this kind of silliness within our organizations? Sadly, I think that answer for most organizations is: probably not.
After watching the video, I think we should reconsider.
May 12, 2011
Forgiveness as a Leadership Skill
"Can you believe what they did to me?"
"Why do they always have to be difficult?"
"Why are they attacking me?"
It seems to be a common human characteristic to assume that the world revolves around us (at least I hope it's not just me). We assume that when something happens that isn't according to our plan or that causes us some discomfort, that it must have happened with the sole purpose of throwing us off course.
We all probably work or have worked with someone who has a tendency to be difficult. Maybe this person challenges you on everything you say. Maybe this person doesn't listen when you talk. Maybe they spend their energy finding ways to avoid doing their work which adds to your own workload. They are difficult.
If you are like me, you may look at that person and assume she is being difficult because she don't like you and that she is actively trying to sabotage you. After all, the world revolves around you, right? And, because you assume she is working actively against you, the natural defensiveness creeps in and you start becoming withdrawn or even hostile towards her. It's a natural response, but it's also self-destructive and it gets in the way of being a leader.
Here's the truth of the sitation: no one is out to get you. The difficult colleague is probably just difficult. He likely doesn't know any better. And further, it's likely that this person is doing the best he knows how and is wondering why you are always so defensive around him. He isn't out to get you, not even a little bit.
So, you need to forgive him. Forgive him for how he behaves. You don't have to (and shouldn't) go tell him that you forgive him. This isn't about him, its about you. Because only once you have forgiven him for these imaginary transgressions against you can you begin to embrace this person for who he is. Once you embrace him for who he is, you are in a position to help him and to be a better partner.
You know how to do this. Think about a best friend or a significant other. He or she does things that probably irritated you at some point in your relationship. She doesn't return phone calls right away. Or maybe he always tries to get involved in "fixing" your issues rather than just listening like you hoped he would. If the relationship matters enough to you, eventually you realize that this person isn't doing any of this to annoy you, but rather it's part of who he/she is. You may even find that some of these annoying behaviors came from an intention of love and support. Once you know that, it's easy to get past and even embrace these behaviors.
By learning how to forgive and recognize most people are doing the best they can and the best they know how, we free ourselves to embrace, love and lead more effectively. Through letting go, we build better and stronger relationships.
"Why do they always have to be difficult?"
"Why are they attacking me?"
It seems to be a common human characteristic to assume that the world revolves around us (at least I hope it's not just me). We assume that when something happens that isn't according to our plan or that causes us some discomfort, that it must have happened with the sole purpose of throwing us off course.
We all probably work or have worked with someone who has a tendency to be difficult. Maybe this person challenges you on everything you say. Maybe this person doesn't listen when you talk. Maybe they spend their energy finding ways to avoid doing their work which adds to your own workload. They are difficult.
If you are like me, you may look at that person and assume she is being difficult because she don't like you and that she is actively trying to sabotage you. After all, the world revolves around you, right? And, because you assume she is working actively against you, the natural defensiveness creeps in and you start becoming withdrawn or even hostile towards her. It's a natural response, but it's also self-destructive and it gets in the way of being a leader.
Here's the truth of the sitation: no one is out to get you. The difficult colleague is probably just difficult. He likely doesn't know any better. And further, it's likely that this person is doing the best he knows how and is wondering why you are always so defensive around him. He isn't out to get you, not even a little bit.
So, you need to forgive him. Forgive him for how he behaves. You don't have to (and shouldn't) go tell him that you forgive him. This isn't about him, its about you. Because only once you have forgiven him for these imaginary transgressions against you can you begin to embrace this person for who he is. Once you embrace him for who he is, you are in a position to help him and to be a better partner.
You know how to do this. Think about a best friend or a significant other. He or she does things that probably irritated you at some point in your relationship. She doesn't return phone calls right away. Or maybe he always tries to get involved in "fixing" your issues rather than just listening like you hoped he would. If the relationship matters enough to you, eventually you realize that this person isn't doing any of this to annoy you, but rather it's part of who he/she is. You may even find that some of these annoying behaviors came from an intention of love and support. Once you know that, it's easy to get past and even embrace these behaviors.
By learning how to forgive and recognize most people are doing the best they can and the best they know how, we free ourselves to embrace, love and lead more effectively. Through letting go, we build better and stronger relationships.
May 3, 2011
The Quest for Great HR: Reflections on 2 Days in the ATL
I had the privilege this weekend to attend HRevolution 3 and to spend a day and a half with 130 great people from around the globe who are incredibly passionate about the work and future of Human Resources. The experience was filled with robust conversations about what's happening in the work or HR and a palpable sense of the struggle that our profession has in front of it.
Throughout the event, there were a few themes that seemed to stand out to me. Perhaps they stood out because several people were talking about or perhaps they stood out because they align with some of my own beliefs, but either way they got my attention.
The name of the event is HRevolution, which implies that we come together in the spirit of moving HR forward. So, that idea naturally tends us more towards thinking about what is happening in HR and what needs to change or get better in the future.
Here's what I left thinking about.
1. HR is losing its humanity. Several people at least hinted at the fact that we (HR) are losing track of the fact that we must ensure that people are still treated like people in the work place. As we have increasingly adopted process, metrics and efficiency as methods of gaining business credibility, we may be losing sight of the fact that people are not machines. Unleashing the power of "human resources" is about embracing the beautiful complexity of people and how they come together to create remarkable things. This doesn't mean that process isn't important, but if we put process before people, we may be becoming part of the problem. And if we in HR don't advocate for keeping the humanity in our work places, who will?
2. Unleashing talent happens at the individual, not collective, level. This really struck me as I listened to Eric Winegardner from Monster.com talk about how he approaches the management of his virtual team of 30 high performers from around the U.S. At one point, he talked about a contest they held online where each of his team members sent in a picture of their desks/workstations from their home offices. Then, the team played a game to match the team member to the desk. As Eric shared these photos, he commented on how it had really hit him how unique and different each workstation was from the others. It seemed that each person has created their own idealized way to work in their own idealized space. Wow. 30 people, 30 very different work stations. The point of Eric's session as I took it was this: to get the best of our people, you have to discover with them how they work best, and then relentlessly work to get them what they need to make that happen--not as a team, but for each beautifully unique and complicated individual. That should probably become the mission statement for HR as we move into the future.
3. HR feels they need to be less HR to be accepted and acknowledged. It was disappointing to me to hear how many of my colleagues feel a pressure to be less HR in an effort to be respected within their organizations. One person commented, "I bet most of our HR staff doesn't even know what your company's revenue was last quarter" and he's probably right. But who cares? I think somewhere along the line, we've lost a handle on what business acumen really means. I don't think I could tell you specifically what my organization's revenue was for any given quarter either, but I could look it up. Is this really what we think will gain us credibility with our CEO's? I've never had a CEO ask me to quote business numbers to them off the top of my head. There are plenty of people who know the numbers, that's not differentiating. Business acumen isn't about quoting numbers, it's about understanding how business works. We need to know how our organizations do business and how we make money. After that, our goal has to turn to how we unleash the talents and passions of our employees towards making the business run and run successfully. I'm worried that in our desire to be accepted, we think we need to be more like the finance department. While we're doing that, who's do the really important work of HR?
I love HRevolution. It is a place for honest, candid conversation about where we are and where we are going in the world of Human Resources. These things I outlined above are the right kinds of issues for us to be debating and struggling with as the focus on our work continues to grow. We must keep the conversation going. But, more importantly, we must continue to strive in a never ending quest to do our work better.
Throughout the event, there were a few themes that seemed to stand out to me. Perhaps they stood out because several people were talking about or perhaps they stood out because they align with some of my own beliefs, but either way they got my attention.
The name of the event is HRevolution, which implies that we come together in the spirit of moving HR forward. So, that idea naturally tends us more towards thinking about what is happening in HR and what needs to change or get better in the future.
Here's what I left thinking about.
1. HR is losing its humanity. Several people at least hinted at the fact that we (HR) are losing track of the fact that we must ensure that people are still treated like people in the work place. As we have increasingly adopted process, metrics and efficiency as methods of gaining business credibility, we may be losing sight of the fact that people are not machines. Unleashing the power of "human resources" is about embracing the beautiful complexity of people and how they come together to create remarkable things. This doesn't mean that process isn't important, but if we put process before people, we may be becoming part of the problem. And if we in HR don't advocate for keeping the humanity in our work places, who will?
2. Unleashing talent happens at the individual, not collective, level. This really struck me as I listened to Eric Winegardner from Monster.com talk about how he approaches the management of his virtual team of 30 high performers from around the U.S. At one point, he talked about a contest they held online where each of his team members sent in a picture of their desks/workstations from their home offices. Then, the team played a game to match the team member to the desk. As Eric shared these photos, he commented on how it had really hit him how unique and different each workstation was from the others. It seemed that each person has created their own idealized way to work in their own idealized space. Wow. 30 people, 30 very different work stations. The point of Eric's session as I took it was this: to get the best of our people, you have to discover with them how they work best, and then relentlessly work to get them what they need to make that happen--not as a team, but for each beautifully unique and complicated individual. That should probably become the mission statement for HR as we move into the future.
3. HR feels they need to be less HR to be accepted and acknowledged. It was disappointing to me to hear how many of my colleagues feel a pressure to be less HR in an effort to be respected within their organizations. One person commented, "I bet most of our HR staff doesn't even know what your company's revenue was last quarter" and he's probably right. But who cares? I think somewhere along the line, we've lost a handle on what business acumen really means. I don't think I could tell you specifically what my organization's revenue was for any given quarter either, but I could look it up. Is this really what we think will gain us credibility with our CEO's? I've never had a CEO ask me to quote business numbers to them off the top of my head. There are plenty of people who know the numbers, that's not differentiating. Business acumen isn't about quoting numbers, it's about understanding how business works. We need to know how our organizations do business and how we make money. After that, our goal has to turn to how we unleash the talents and passions of our employees towards making the business run and run successfully. I'm worried that in our desire to be accepted, we think we need to be more like the finance department. While we're doing that, who's do the really important work of HR?
I love HRevolution. It is a place for honest, candid conversation about where we are and where we are going in the world of Human Resources. These things I outlined above are the right kinds of issues for us to be debating and struggling with as the focus on our work continues to grow. We must keep the conversation going. But, more importantly, we must continue to strive in a never ending quest to do our work better.
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